Public speaker and life coach Tony Robbins has spent decades convincing people to break out of their old patterns. He overcame incredible hardships himself, and he took those lessons and turned them into ways to help others, including with how they deal with money. One of the biggest hardships many people have to overcome is self-sabotage.
Self-sabotage is when you place limitations on your own life or work that don’t need to be there. These limitations or roadblocks stop you from becoming the person you want, achieving the goals you aim for and living the life of your dreams.
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This is not to say that there are not some very real barriers for people in life. Everything from poverty and mental illness to disability and a lack of support from friends or family can cause incredible hardship. The reality is that, while everyone has different abilities and resources, everyone can start from wherever they are and work to improve their life.
But you cannot do that, no matter where your starting point is, if you’re self-sabotaging.
Here are the key steps Tony Robbins offers to get out of self-sabotage mode and break free from your own limitations.
1. Manage Your State
Have you ever gone from worrying about something into a full-blown panic attack? It’s more common than you may realize. What many people don’t realize is that, as Robbins said, “where focus goes, energy flows.”
Whatever your mind is focused on is where your energy will be. If you’re stressed out about something, all of your energy will turn into stress. Your body will react, you’ll start to hunch your shoulders, your jaw will clench, and your personality may even change. You feel tense and maybe even angry.
From that state, you’ll start to believe that your situation is hopeless. You’ll make unnecessary mistakes. You’ll sabotage yourself.
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Robbins recommends you change or manage your state. When you notice that you’re not in a positive state of mind, take action to start shifting it. The best way to do that is to change your state physically.
Why? Because where focus goes, energy flows.
So, if you’re sitting, stand up. If you’re standing, start walking. If you’re hunched, stand up straight. Get your body moving, bouncing, stretching, and you’ll feel positive energy come into your muscles, lungs and mind. Take deep, relaxing breaths, in through the nose and out through the mouth. Relax your jaw, roll your head on your neck.
You can manage your state in as little as five minutes, and from that positive, powerful place, you can take positive, powerful action.
2. Ask Better Questions
You’ve likely heard people talk about the voices in your head, and how detrimental they can be to your progress in life. Everyone has an inner jerk, and it’s up to us to change that voice into one that’s supportive and encouraging.
So, when the mean voice asks questions like, “How could I be so stupid?” You can reframe that question to “What can I learn from this?”
It’s important to create a realistic, level playing field in your head that helps you realize everyone makes mistakes, everyone fails and that failure is actually a pathway to success. Every great leader, manager and entrepreneur will tell you that they’ve had to overcome intense failure. In fact, this overcoming is Robbins’ claim to fame.
Behind every single “overnight success” are at least ten years of hard work and hard lessons. So, remember that when you’re asking pointless, painful questions of yourself. Take every negative and flip it to its positive version. Come up with questions that get your brain thinking about how to move forward with new information.
“Your brain will find answers to whatever you ask — so ask empowering questions,” Robbins said in his blog post.
3. Make Small Changes
Robbins calls this one the “2-millimeter rule.” He said people often think they can make changes overnight or in big, grand gestures.
As Bill Gates said, “Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.”
A version of this quote has also been attributed to Robbins, which makes sense based on this rule. He wants you to change something small, five minutes a day, one hour a week and watch the transformation shift.
A big part of self-sabotage is that it’s habitual. You’re used to getting in your own way. In fact, it’s your comfort zone. When you make small changes, you move out of your comfort zone at a comfortable pace, so it becomes your new comfort zone.
For example, you can start to take a walk every morning when you wake up, just around the block. You could meditate for five minutes before bed. Maybe you set boundaries around screen time and turn off your phone an hour before bed.
You might call three warm leads for sales calls before you do anything else at work. Or you could write one page of your novel in the morning with your first cup of coffee, before everyone wakes up.
4. Rewire Your Beliefs
The last, and perhaps most difficult step of avoiding self-sabotage, is to rewire your belief. You cannot win if you think you’re a loser. Tony Robbins likes to think positive thoughts like, “I am resourceful. I can figure this out,” instead of “I can’t do this,” according to his article.
When you’re sitting around thinking about how much of a loser you are, challenge those thoughts by thinking about times when you have been successful.
Revisit memories of a time when you did something good, when you helped someone else, when you made progress. Let those memories overpower the negative ones. Then, take a small action to prove your strength, your goodness, your power. Volunteer with a local community organization, participate in a local networking event, or take an internship under someone you admire.
With every strong memory you hold, you can reshape who you are as a person, so that you start to see yourself in a positive light, and from there, anything is possible.
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This article originally appeared on GOBankingRates.com: Tony Robbins: Key Steps To Avoid Self-Sabotage and Breaking Free From Your Own Limitations
