The funniest sketch I’ve ever seen …
Cardinal Burns as Dean and Murf, playing two drug casualties dining out on their minor dance hit from 1993. I actually dropped to my knees laughing.
The funniest book I’ve ever read …
London Fields by Martin Amis. He’s scathing of everyone. His characters are grotesque, the men are all cowards and perverts, the women are all liars.
The funniest TV show I’ve ever seen …
Shooting Stars. Vic and Bob are gods. Men in their 50s dicking about for a living – it’s so reassuring.
The funniest film I’ve ever seen …
Ace Ventura takes some beating: Jim Carrey given free rein to be himself. He sells every word and every move 100%. It’s delicious.
The funniest meal I’ve ever eaten …
Magic mushrooms at a party in Wales in 2008. Was up laughing till 7am at stuff that didn’t really make sense later.
The funniest hairstyle I’ve ever had …
Mine when it gets too dome-like and the fringe is too straight; people nudge each other in the street and laugh.
The funniest thing that shouldn’t be funny …
Small talk during sex. Highly recommended at the height of passion to drop in a “You look well” or “Nice to see you”.
The funniest joke I’ve ever heard …
I love Julian Deane’s “People hate vegans don’t they? People hate vegans more than they hate animal cruelty.”
Tom Ward plays Just The Tonic @ The Mash House, Edinburgh, 2 to 26 August
