The funniest standup I’ve ever seen
Dave Chappelle on Sesame Street.
The funniest heckle I’ve ever had
“I’ve seen your dad in a porn film.” This was never explained.
The funniest book I’ve ever read
I, Partridge: We Need to Talk About Alan: “Lost in the depths of despair I tried to figure out what I had done to deserve this. I wasn’t an evil person. The worst thing I’d ever done was kick a pig – school trip to Heston Farm, 1964, I maintain it was self-defence.”
The funniest TV show I’ve ever seen
South Park, when Randy Marsh is playing Wheel of Fortune, the board reads N_GGERS and the clue is “people who annoy you”. He proudly guesses the missing letter to be an I when the correct answer is an A and the studio audience is shocked into silence.
The funniest hairstyle I’ve ever had
I went to Mongolia as a teenager and I thought it would be cool to dye my hair into a Mongolian flag; a red-blue-red mohican with a patch of yellow.
The funniest person I know
Mark Heap.
The funniest sketch I’ve ever seen
The funniest item of clothing I’ve ever owned
I have a T-shirt which has a face on it and a pocket in the mouth and when you pull the pocket out it looks like a tongue. It goes down well with young children.
The funniest meal I’ve ever eaten
I drank my own piss on a Bear Grylls reality show.
The funniest word
Snafu.
The funniest dream I’ve ever had
I had a dream that Arsenal lost the semi-final of the FA Cup 6-3 to a lower-division Swedish side and then I saw Arsène Wenger on the beach and he said “It is over” in French and I spent the rest of the dream trying to tweet it but I kept getting sand on my phone.
Tom Rosenthal is in The Philanthropist at Trafalgar Studios, SW1, Mon to 22 Jul
