The funniest standup I’ve ever seen …
Maria Bamford. I was at Montreal comedy festival in 2006 and was totally intimidated by all the loud comics. I was on a bill with this comic who showed she wasn’t afraid to be humble and insecure, and suddenly I didn’t feel alone! I think that’s what comedy is: making people feel less alone.
The funniest book I’ve ever read …
Meet Mr Mulliner by PG Wodehouse – a man in a pub tells stories about eccentric characters he’s met, like the man who stutters and who tries to ask a girl out during a train crash but can only do it by singing.
The funniest film I’ve ever seen …
Airplane. It’s the deadpan seriousness of all the actors combined with so many jokes. And not even jokes, just funny bits.
The funniest heckle I’ve ever had …
“Well this is all very well but we still haven’t had our soup!” It was at a banquet where the service had been very slow.
The funniest item of clothing I’ve ever owned …
I did own a bowler hat as a teenager, which I thought made me look very distinguished. But, of course, I looked like an absolute prick.
The funniest dream I’ve ever had …
It was such a strange dream: I kept being asked these questions by the Guardian but I didn’t know if they wanted me to be sincere or witty or even a bit meta. All I know is I was very funny. Or clever. I was very clever.
Tom Allen: Absolutely, Georgian Theatre Royal, Richmond, Sunday 25 February; touring to 27 July
