The George Clooney gag
“George Clooney married Amal Almuddin this year. Amal is a human rights lawyer who worked on the Enron case; was an adviser to Kofi Annan regarding Syria; and was selected for a three-person UN commission investigating rules of war violations in the Gaza Strip. So tonight … her husband is getting a lifetime achievement award.”
The Interview gags
“We celebrate at the great television shows we know and love and all the movies North Korea was OK with ... North Korea referred to The Interview as absolutely intolerable and a wanton act of terror, and that wasn’t the worst review the movie got.”
The Bill Cosby gag
“In Into the Woods, Cinderella runs from her prince, Rapunzel is thrown from a tower for her prince, and Sleeping Beauty just thought she was getting coffee with Bill Cosby,” said Fey.
“That’s not right,” Poehler said, doing a Cosby impression. “It’s more like: ‘I got the pills in the bathroom and I put them in the people!’”
As Bill Cosby jokes were made... Jessica Chastain (bottom left) #GoldenGlobes via @JennaGuillaume pic.twitter.com/xPr9ixNaoK
— Mark Di Stefano (@MarkDiStef) January 12, 2015
The Wes Anderson joke
“Wes arrived on a bicycle made of antique tuba parts.”
The Jennifer Aniston / Cake joke
“Jennifer Aniston is here tonight, nominated for the film Cake. We should explain for the Hollywood people in the room: Cake is like a fluffy desert that people eat on their birthdays ... And birthdays are thing people celebrate when they admit that they’ve aged”.
The Joaquin Phoenix joke
“Joaquin Phoenix is nominated for Inherent Vice, but obviously he isn’t here tonight because he has said publicly that - quote - award shows are total and utter bull- Oh! Hey Joaquin!”
The Selma joke
“Selma. In the 1960s thousands of black people from all over America came together with one common goal ... to form Sly and the Family Stone. But the movie Selma is about the American civil rights movement that totally worked and now everything’s fine.”
The Steve Carell joke
“In Foxcatcher Steve Carell plays a paranoid, murderous billionaire. It’s a stretch for Carell, who in real-life is a paranoid, murderous millionaire”.
The Emma Stone / Big Eyes joke
“Christoph Waltz and Amy Adams are here. They were so great in Big Eyes. In fact, one of those famous big-eye paintings is on display tonight.
[Cut to shot of Emma Stone in the audience]
“So lifelike! It’s like it’s cute, but it’s creepy!”
The Patricia Arquette / Boyhood joke
Referring to Boyhood, which was filmed over 12 years, the hosts said: “She’s proved that there are still great roles for women over 40 as long as you get hired when you’re under 40.”
