There is a simple way to deal with the dirge-like British anthem (Letters, 22 December): move it from 3/4 to 4/4 time and play it as a stirring march (at about 120bpm). I have written a brass band score for this, but as I don’t expect anyone to pay me for it, I am happy to donate it to the nation. I have also rewritten the lyrics to remove all references to royalty, xenophobia and religion.
Richard Lamming
Shaldon, Devon
• I go along with Billy Connolly’s idea: we should have as our national anthem the theme music from The Archers. No words to worry about, just hum along.
John Starbuck
Lepton, West Yorkshire
• I assume that under the Tories’ plans to reintroduce imperial measurements (Report, 27 December), 24 pints of wine will make one suitcase.
Rob Sykes
Oxford
• In response to your article (Boxing week, that blissful period when nothing happens, is the real gift of Christmas, 25 December), this year it was literally a “boxing week” for me … as I am being evicted under a section 21 notice (as is our whole block of flats). This Christmas has been one of the worst I have ever faced. Just a reminder that all is not bliss for everyone at this time of year.
Name and address supplied
• Reading Wendy Cope’s poem “How to have a happy Christmas” (Opinion, 24 December), took me back to the 1950s, when Mum worked so hard over the hot gas stove as the men drank, laughed smoked and played with us little ones. She was congratulated on the spread. Dad and Uncle John would noisily plunge into the washing up. Congratulated on their return from the kitchen, both would fall asleep, paper hats askew. Mum would discover that none of the pots and pans had been touched. We all laughed.
Wenda Clenaghen
London
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