Birds of a Feather
8.30pm, ITV
An episode of the sitcom that’s not so much been revived as zombified, but that has nevertheless proved a ratings winner. Dorien debates Dostoevsky with her book group, while Tracey warns her sons not to get fingered by the filth. As the cast stiffly shout a script that feels as if flair and surprises have been excised by censors, those stories vaguely collide. Pauline Quirke and Lesley Joseph, who have the knack of saying their lines as if they have read and understood them in advance, spark the odd glimmer. Jack Seale
Death in Paradise
9pm, BBC1
Another day, another slightly freakish murder on the paradise island of Saint-Marie, as the president of the local heritage society drops dead in the middle of a historical re-enactment. Was it a dodgy stew or something to do with the threatening letters he had been bombarded with beforehand? As is customary in this twisty but reliable mystery, there are suspects galore, including guest star Tyger Drew-Honey. And in the sun-soaked background, DI Goodman’s lust for Camille is still bubbling away. Hannah Verdier
Surviving the Holocaust – Freddie Knoller’s War
9.30pm, BBC2
Any story of living through the Holocaust will be one of extraordinary fortitude and fortune, but even by those standards, Freddie Knoller’s is astonishing. This film focuses on Knoller, now in his 90s, as he recalls growing up in Vienna, escaping to Belgium, ducking and diving for two years in Nazi-occupied Paris before being dispatched to Auschwitz. Both a heartening story of individual survival and implicit reminder of the millions who didn’t make it. Andrew Mueller
Cucumber
10pm, Channel 4
Vincent Franklin stars in Russell T Davies’s new relationship comedy as Henry, a midlifer with a porn obsession who has never had sex with his boyfriend, Lance. Julie Hesmondhalgh is his sister, Cleo. As the title suggests, the focus is very much on penises. The cast talk about wanking and schlongs with abandon. For all that, the episode’s standout line is significantly less blue: “I once got a fax off Liz Hurley.” Banana, a sister series focusing on all stripes of gay, lesbian and trans life, follows at 10pm on E4. Julia Raeside
Josie: The Most Hated Woman in Britain?
10pm, Channel 4
You may be disappointed to know that the titular villain isn’t a corrupt politician or a criminal mastermind, but rather would-be glamour girl Josie Cunningham, catapulted to tabloid infamy in 2013 by an NHS boob job. Although she’s reviled online, this doc reveals the extent to which the 24-year-old and her agent Rob orchestrate the headlines written about her. From misspelling tweets to selling tickets to your child’s birth, it’s a masterclass in milking your 15 minutes. Hannah J Davies
Ross Kemp: Extreme World
9pm, Sky1
There remains a testosterone-y whiff about the way in which Kemp’s adventures in harsh geopolitical terrain are dubbed “extreme”, as if they were a mountain bike challenge. And in the first of this fourth series, there’s too much implicitly made of Kemp’s ballsiness in going places other reporters don’t. Yet, there is value in the raw footage accrued. Tonight, he’s in Ukraine, among far-right nationalist groups fighting pro-Russian separatists, disillusioned with their government and espousing ugly anti-Muslim sentiments. David Stubbs
Best and Final Offer
9pm, More4
Property shows aspire to document the peculiarities of a particular market – so it is with this one. Focusing on just one house, the programme shows who sells it, markets it, who is drawn to it and what lengths they will go to to get it. Tonight’s three-bed semi in Horsham quickly exceeds its asking price, even before an “open viewing” has birthed the all-too-common bidding war. The Come Dine With Me-style voiceover quickly undermines the show’s avowedly serious purpose. John Robinson
Sports choice – ODI Cricket: Australia v England
3am, Sky Sports 2
Live coverage of match four of the tri-nation series from the Bellerive Oval in Hobart, Tasmania. England’s last-minute cramming for the World Cup continues with their second match of the series against the competition’s co-hosts, Australia. Bolstered by the return to fitness for new captain Michael Clarke, not to mention a record of nine wins from 10 at the venue, Australia should win; anything less will prove a notable boon for freshly installed England captain Eoin Morgan. Mark Jones
