Aaron Fa’aoso never planned to write a memoir. But when a literary agent approached the footy player-turned-actor about sharing his story, he eventually changed his mind.
“I was 42 at the time and I thought [memoirs] were for old guys,” he says. “But they had done a fair bit of research on me, and said that my life … the challenges that I’ve overcome, would be a great piece for young men in particular.”
Fa’aoso certainly has a lot to share. The Torres Strait Islander man began his public career with the Canterbury Bulldogs before pivoting to TV in the mid-noughties. He’s gone on to star in ABC’s hit series Black Comedy as well as producing and presenting the documentary series Blue Water Empire. But there has been sadness with the success – in 2008, Fa’aoso lost his wife to suicide just a month after their wedding.
His memoir – So Far, So Good, which is out now through Pantera Press – tackles these twists and turns. It also interrogates what it means to be a successful Indigenous man in Australia, and the need to push back against ignorance, racism and intergenerational trauma. Part of what convinced Fa’aoso to pen the memoir together with biographer Michelle Scott Tucker was how many of his First Nations friends died in their 40s – and the realisation he might not have the luxury of waiting until his 60s to tell his life story.
“I started thinking that Indigenous men have a life expectancy of 55, which is far lower than that of the mainstream. It wasn’t until my best friend passed away at the age of 48, that I thought, you know what … I’m gonna have a crack,” he says. “I thought of things that I’d love to share with other young men that I’ve suppressed as well. So for me, it was about telling my truth.”
Fa’aoso is proud of his Torres Strait Islander heritage and his most prized possession represents his connection to home. Here, he tells us about that priceless piece of jewellery, as well as the story of two other precious personal belongings.
What I’d save from my house in a fire
My totem amulet. It’s a necklace with crocodile teeth on it and it’s extremely sacred to me because it’s my connection to my clan.
You get your totem through your bloodline; it’s something that’s unbroken. It also represents my unbroken connection to place, which is Saibai Island, but also my standing with family and community. And it doesn’t just link me to my family and community now, but those who will come in the future as well.
My most useful object
My four-wheel drive, because it can go anywhere. It’s the Toyota Landcruiser 79 series.
Look, I’m not a prepper, but if things were gonna go down, I could certainly survive out of my four-wheel drive. It’s set up in such a way as I can live off-grid for months and months on end. I’ve had it for just over 12 months now but I’ve tricked it out with all the bells and whistles, so I’m extremely proud of it.
It’s purpose-built for touring and getting into off-grid places. So I generally take it out off Country, whether it’s through the Cape York Peninsula region, or the Canning Stock track in Western Australia. Where generally there are hardly any people, I’ll be there. During the Covid period last year, I put about 50,000km on it. So let’s just say I’ve done a fair bit of travelling around in it already.
The item I most regret losing
My wife passed away about 10 years ago. And I wish I kept her wedding rings for my daughter, but I buried them with her. I wish that I would have been able to pass that on to my daughter so they could have remained in the family. So that’s the item I really regret parting with. I’m starting to get emotional just talking about it now.
Crisis support services can be reached 24 hours a day: Lifeline 13 11 14; Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467; Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800; MensLine Australia 1300 78 99 78
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