Family was my mother’s main interest in life – and she was there all the time for us. It was not an altogether happy childhood and I think Mum really worked at trying to hold it all together.
My twin brother and I were inseparable growing up. We had our own language and I had to translate for him, as he was very shy as well as being quite blind and deaf. He is also dyslexic, so I looked after him at school, to the extent that we had to be separated because it wasn’t doing either of us any good. He went to an amazing school when he was seven but he got moved again because they couldn’t afford the fees. He was stuck at the back of the classroom and called stupid, which completely destroyed him.
Our sister, who is two years older than us, had a shock to the system when we turned up. My father was working in South America so my mother brought us up pretty much by herself and it was tough on all counts. I think it was really hard for my sister to cope with having us two taking all the attention, and she and I didn’t get on at all as children. It didn’t help that I was hopeless at playing and got bored with toys – cooking was much more fun. But we became close when I was about 18 – we got to know each other as adults. I remember writing her a long letter from Mexico when I was on my gap year.
My father rebuilt our family house himself – it was a total wreck and it took years. For the first two winters of the house, we had no back wall – just a tarpaulin. I remember going to school in a soggy uniform because everything was so cold and damp.
We were quite isolated as a family growing up, so our closest relatives were very important. My paternal grandmother and I were very close. She had an immaculately kept wardrobe and let me run riot in it when we visited. I’ve inherited many of her amazing clothes and hats. I remember one of my boyfriends thinking it was weird that I wore her underwear, but she had such fabulous corsets.
We think there must have been some big scandal in her past, but she never told my father or ever spoke of her family in the US. She came to London, became a model and married a racing driver, who was killed in an accident. She met and married my grandfather, who was a very bright inventor but not great at making money. They lived in the depths of Wales and my father was really brought up by his half-sister from the previous marriage – she was eight years older.
My grandmother was not a hands-on mother, but she was great fun and very glamorous. She died unexpectedly a few months after my maternal grandmother killed herself – it was a very difficult time.
Family life is about love and showing love – letting your children know that you’re there for them, no matter what. It’s also about talking to each other. My eldest child [Miers has two daughters, aged five and three] likes to push the boundaries and I did too.
My siblings and I emerged from childhood with low confidence, so I want to instil it in my children. I’m quite old-fashioned and I don’t want them to be spoiled – they need to learn early on that you have to work in life. I also want my girls to see that women are defined by more than just being mothers. Women need to have their own identity outside the family, because you give so much to your children throughout their lives. At some stage, my children will fly the nest and there will be a lot of life left to live.
• Thomasina Miers, co-founder of the restaurant chain Wahaca, is supporting Macmillan Cancer Support’s Summer Lights fundraiser, summerlights.org.uk
