God Damn
Drop Me Off Where They Clean the Dead Up
Band name? Check. Song title? Check. Video? The band play crap Ghostbusters, whizzing about in a Polo, only instead of dealing with the ectoplasm problem, the guys eat the slime, get off their domes and verbally abuse Joe Lycett as he puts out his bins. So: 100% check. A brilliant grenade of barely intelligible punk-rock nonsense.
Holly Humberstone
Please Don’t Leave Just Yet
Draped over a spectral jam, “I don’t want to need your love any more, I just do” is about as pure a distillation of the “I’m too sad to change out of these pyjamas even though they’re covered in Pot Noodle” free-fall of heartache there is. Yet Holly assures us of a life afterwards. “I’m not a fucking idiot!” she spits. Exactly! That prat’s not worth it! Shower, burn those rank jammies, download Hinge, and get back out there!
The Lost Trades
Oaks
As someone with a beach body that resembles a condom full of wallpaper paste, it’s important to clarify that summer means something different to all of us. For many, it’s sitting in a field, drinking cider and saying “Stop being nesh, it’s only a bit of rain” a lot. It is towards this crowd that this harmonious folk trio aim this pretty ditty about the revivifying properties of the damp outdoors. Couldn’t be any more BST if it passed out in a camping chair with its wellies on.
Dixie ft Rubi Rose
Psycho
The words “The new single from the TikTok star” (AKA Charli D’Amelio’s sister) might trigger the same panic response from your amygdala as “try to relax, this might be quite cold”, but this is an out-and-out funk-bassed, flip-the-bird pop slammer, burnished to a blinding sheen.
Adam Levine
Good Mood
This is from the soundtrack to Paw Patrol: The Movie, so no one was expecting Hurt. And it’s Maroon 5’s singer, whose only contribution to music really has been giving folks of disparate tastes something to collectively hate. Yet even by these subterranean standards, this is a bubonic smear of corporate acquiescence with about as much love poured into it as a Glastonbury long drop. If you ever swallow something you shouldn’t, stick this on. It’ll be back up in no time.
