PICK OF THE WEEK
Duke Dumont
The Giver (Reprise) (Astralwerkz)
Words cannot express how much I want to be walking down a high street on a sunny day, and hear this blaring from a small car full of shirtless lads. After last year’s monolithic UV-ray banger I Got U, house producer Duke Dumont seems incapable of making music that doesn’t release the brain chemical that yearns for near constant sunlight. The smooth, stoned vocals, the bassy waves of synth, the drums like sprinkling sand on a metal surface – if only we lived somewhere where this music made more sense.
Carnage ft ILoveMakonnen
I Like Tuh (Ultra)
A shame – ILoveMakonnen seemed poised to pinch the crown of creepy, outsider rap-singing at one point, but if this collaboration with Carnage is anything to go by, he seems content to make Baauer rip-off, white-people trap. The singer is not displaying any of the Wesley Willis flair of previous weird tracks, such as the yearning Sarah or the defiant I Don’t Sell Molly No More. Instead, we’re left with something that would soundtrack a BBC vignette trying to force you to watch their coverage of some indie festival no one cares about.
Flo Rida ft Robin Thicke & Verdine White
I Don’t Like It, I Love It (Atlantic)
It is surely no small coincidence that the lyric video for this song is a scrolling Facebook page, as it’s the exact kind of faux-chirpy garbage the company would employ to make you think you have more friends than you do. Flo Rida, Thicke and Verdine White (no, me neither) all feature on this clusterfuck of funk guitars, doot-doos and whistle melodies. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if Nile Rodgers is lurking in the bushes behind this song, trying to spray his Get Lucky jams all over it, forcing lightning to strike twice in the exact same place.
Nero
The Thrill (MTA/Mercury)
Shout out to Nero for sticking to their guns. While fellow crunchstep drop aficionado Skrillex has transitioned to making pop tunes with Justin Bieber and Diplo, the London trio have kept it real, still making music that sounds as if it would ring out at an emo club night for teenage robots. Music like this will be playing in Beyond Retro some day, a crystalline example of a bygone time; a woman warbling over a crass “epic” instrumental, peaks and troughs, quiet verses and massive choruses… ah, the mid 2010s.
Stereo Kicks
Love Me So (James Grant Music)
Stereo Kicks are an eight-piece boy band who first appeared on The X Factor, and look like they’re comprised of rejected Arsenal youth team members, all quiff and no skills. They look like a four-piece band that four other random lads have gatecrashed, pulling concerned pouts to fit in. They look like they all think Tiger Tiger is an OK place to spend a Friday night. They look like… what? Oh, the song? It’s shit. It’s really shit.
