When we care about someone, we tend to accept them as they are—flaws and all. That’s part of what love is.
But even love has its limits, especially when your partner starts acting less like an adult and more like someone who needs constant supervision.
These Redditors shared the exact moments they realized they were dating someone who couldn’t function in the real world—and let’s just say, some of these stories are jaw-dropping. Scroll down to read them all (and maybe feel a little better about your own dating history).
More info: Reddit
#1
When my cat had cancer and he said "but you're supposed to take care of me!" and kept getting mad and vengeful because I wasn't available as much from spending time with my cat and grieving. Up until that point his mask had slipped off and he was actually a terrible human being. I broke up with him and spent the last 4 months with my cat, cuddling him and giving him all his favourite treats and things he enjoyed in peace.
#2
"Can we go to your place? My mom comes to clean my house on Thursdays."
His mom was 66. I didn't want to raise a manchild.
Image credits: kaysa5
#3
When I said I was going out with friends for dinner and he said “So you’re just going to leave me here to starve?!” No man, the house is filled with food and you have a car if you hate all of it. We broke up soon after.
Image credits: Future-Wafer5677
#4
I find a bit of catharsis every time I tell this story.
I was 18, dating a 21-year-old man. We left our apartment the morning of Canada Day to go to the beach for celebrations. I told him, multiple times, to put on sunscreen. He insisted that he did not need it.
We are very, very white people. Spoiler: he needed it.
We got home later that night, drunk, and one of us quite sunburnt. He cornered me in our bathroom and screamed, spittle flying, finger in my face, voice breaking, that it was *my* fault that he was *so* sunburnt and I should have *insisted* that he put on sunscreen because *how could he have known better*.
Then, he pushed me into a doorframe after I pushed past him. Not nearly equal displays of force.
I broke up with him later that week. I'm very grateful that I had the courage to do so. It was a deeply troubling relationship that has left me with a lot of mental turmoil.
#5
He asked me to stop using big words.
miked1912:
I dated someone who tried to put me on a two syllable per word limit. He then got frustrated when I would take a long time to respond in conversation because I was trying to filter myself down to his understanding.
blondechineeez:
Ohh god. I dated a guy who said something similar like that. He would say "stop using those $100 words."
I said I wasn't trying to make him feel dense, that this is the way I speak. I do have a college degree, but I am certainly not pretentious.
We stopped seeing each other amicably. He is still a friend. The girl he's currently dating appears to have the intellect of a teenager. He seems happy. So am I. I am not going to turn into a dolt just to have a conversation with anyone.
Image credits: Guerilla_Physicist
#6
When he threw himself down the stairs out of anger for the first time.
Image credits: Princess_Coldheart
#7
Mom imposes rules including "no overnights" and we can only be together for short times unsupervised and without checking in periodically. She was 33.
Image credits: Jephta
#8
When I noticed their laundry pile was basically turning into a new species and when I asked why the laundry has piled up that much, he said he'll just buy new ones.
Image credits: TheLoky1
#9
When he wouldn’t let me in his bedroom because he had like 20+ water bottles fillled with p**s.
Image credits: musicalattes
#10
When she made fun of me for getting emotional and sobbing when I found out my grandmother was in the hospital in critical condition after a serious fall during a surprise phone call from my dad. She wanted a “composed” boyfriend. Safe to say i ended that relationship real quick after that.
#11
When he asked why on earth anyone would have a savings account.
Image credits: Pickles_McBeef
#12
When the pile of dishes in his sink remained for over a month and the only reason the problem was solved was because I did them. Couldn't handle the stench anymore. Felt like his f****n mother and he was 31 years old.
Image credits: fergalicious_timez
#13
When after a small fight he said “so what are you going to do to make up for it?”
He wasn’t satisfied with any of my answers so he just outright said “are you going to buy me that lego i want?”
No shade to lego lovers but we were 31 and he was fully capable of buying it himself. He just didn’t want to because he wants me to buy it for him.
Freakin’ cold water to the face moment. I am ashamed to say, i stayed for another year after that. One of my greatest shame. But i did in fact NOT buy the stupid lego set.
Image credits: Sure-Initial5224
#14
I got into an argument with him and I told him he was being condescending and he told me, “I don’t know what that means but I am not being it!”. Ugh he was so pretty yet so dumb.
Image credits: YouHadMeAtTaco
#15
I broke up with my ex when I found her stash of months of unpaid bills because she lost her bank account login….
Image credits: NoMoose803
#16
I work at a nursing home with severely delirious and aggressive patients. I came home with bruises all over my legs from being hit and kicked. My ex noticed, and thought I was cheating on him, and having really kinky s*x..........
Image credits: sophielady
#17
She didn't do laundry until she went home to visit her mother, who did it for her. Her in- building's machine was not overpriced and when she went home, she took the train. So she hauled bags and bags of smelly laundry on public transit two states away for her mom to wash.
#18
I had surgery and was unable to clean (he never helped with any house chores, which should’ve been an indication of a bigger issue but anyway)
because of my surgery i was bedridden for a few weeks.
realized he wasn’t a functional adult when he panicked that our toilet was broken because there were rings around it. it was simply because i hadn’t been able to clean it, which i told him. his response was “there’s no way you clean this thing every 4 weeks. it’s broken” to which i replied “you’re right, i clean it weekly actually.”
broke up that same year.
#19
She didn’t like to read because books are too long and boring.
#20
I would have to tell him to brush his teeth 🙄.
isledonpenguins:
My ex boyfriend's breath literally smelled like mothballs. I told him this and told him it was affecting our intimacy.
We broke up right before Covid, and when the lockdowns started, we continued living together. We started seeing other people, and he'd report back to me that he'd "had no complaints from any of the girls he was seeing."
At the same time, he admitted to rarely brushing his teeth, instead primarily relying on those little disposable "brushes" you can buy at the drugstore. Is it that your breath doesn't stink? Or that these near-strangers don't feel comfortable telling you? 🙄
Image credits: Zestyclose-Season950
#21
When he gave me a weeks worth of silent treatment because he had told me I couldn't do something, and I did it anyway.
It was buying a new book for myself with my own money I earned.
According to him, if I didn't listen to him and do what he said on the small stuff, I wouldn't listen when It came to the big stuff, i.e., buying a house or having kids.
I got out of that relationship very quickly after that.
#22
My ex husband wanted a mother, not a wife. He needed reminders to brush his teeth, to take showers. Took pride in the fact he didn’t know how to cook and I cooked every meal (and even hand delivered them to his work so he’d have a hot meal every day since he worked nights). He slept all morning until he went to work. Never had any pto to do anything together as he spent most of his pto to stay home and play video games, so if I travelled anywhere I usually traveled alone. I did all the chores, and I even had to hire landscapers when I was tired of doing all the yard work by myself. Meanwhile he watched videos or listened to music on his computer with a headset on, and played games all day. After I asked for a divorce and moved back in with my parents 9 hours away, he had to text me on how to use the washing machine because that was also something he did not know how to do. Left some of the bills in my name (with his bank info on auto pay) as a favor when I left, since I did leave kind of abruptly, but after I got my own place and needed my own utilities set up, I was a “b***h” for cancelling the internet that he could have transferred to his own account months ago.
Truly taken advantage of as a whole, and at times feel really stupid I stayed for so long, but living with a narcissistic person for 15 years will do that to you :).
#23
When a guy told me that he can't control himself no matter what the situation is (food, s*x, p**n, etc).
Dramatic-Ad-1261:
Hate these type of people. Can't is your excuse word for won't. If you "can't control yourself" then you need locked up as a danger to society. Learn self control.
#24
I realized she couldn’t take care of herself. She worked at a prestigious boarding school and ran a dorm, so I made excuses like saying she's busy with students, it was easier for her to eat at the cafeteria, etc. But at some point it got undeniable: rotting food in the fridge, laundry everywhere, a filthy bathroom, piles of junk on the table. Worst of all was her dog, which was barely trained and very neglected. I ended up feeding it, walking it, and cleaning up after it constantly because she'd just let messes sit until “she could get to it.”
We broke up for unrelated reasons, but looking back this was a huge red flag and now I see our relationship more as I was in a bad place mentally and thought I had to take care of somebody to give myself purpose -- taking the relationship well past the expiration date. On the plus side, the dog’s now with her parents, running around a big yard and living its best life with two other very spoiled dogs.
#25
When he asked if he had to wash his hands "every time" after taking a dump. It was cya later after that one.
#26
When she asked me how to boil water. We were 30.
Image credits: Jabber_Tracking
#27
After I gave birth to our second child, he got angry because everyone was asking how I was. It would have been hard for him to watch all of that, too.
#28
When she said she was on her way to meet me for our date, called and said she was 20 minutes out, and then texted me 7 hours later, “I just woke up in my car. I gotta s**t real bad.”
What. The. F**k.
She was 38. We are not still together.
#29
When any time I spent away from her was assumed to be cheating on her.
#30
When my ex gfs told me that they won't work, drive, cook, or help me out in emergencies but I'm expected to provide them a place to stay, pay all the bills and have still have enough money to take us both out to a vacation. She justified it by saying "it's traditional." I argued that she's basically looking for a sugar daddy. We broke up because I couldn't agree to a one sided relationship. Normally this is the part where I say that they've been single ever since but unfortunately it's been a 50/50. One of them was able to find a man that would give into her demands while the other ex sat at home for 10 years because she believed a man would come rescue her.
#31
He claimed that therapy doesn’t work for anyone by saying “my brother went to therapy once and he told me it didn’t work”.
#32
Once I showed up at his place to spend the weekend. It was a planned visit, with plenty of lead time.
He didn’t have any toilet paper. Like, not in the dispenser, not a roll on the back of the toilet, not a roll tucked under the sink, nada. There wasn’t even a toilet paper roll tube on top of the incredibly overflowing trash can. And he didn’t even think to mention it when I went to the toilet the first time. He seemed kind of bemused and flabbergasted when I told him he was going to need some.
Like…I don’t want to contemplate what he was doing before I got there. Like…how was he pooping? Was he going out into the alley and s******g next to his downstairs neighbor’s Bichon Frisé?
#33
He quit is job one random day because he “just didn’t like it”. I was working full time, in school full time, and our son was less than a year old. It sadly took me quite awhile to end things, but when I look back I know that was the moment that I really knew. When I looked at him sitting on his computer playing video games, him telling me with such a nonchalant attitude. He didn’t work for nearly 2 months and still hardly lifted a finger to help around the house or with our son.
#34
When he tried to duck from a kiss cam at a cold play concert. His wife must be pissed.
#35
Once per week she took her car to her parents. Her father would check the fluid levels and take it to the corner station to fill it up with gas. Apparently she never learned to use a gas pump because the machines are "too complicated these days." She was a pharmaceutical assistant.
#36
He found my low hanging cervix, and declared me to be intersex.
Image credits: BassesLee
#37
When I explained to her after I bought her a vehicle that she would have temporary tags and stand out on the road and would need to drive safe and obey the traffic rules.
She was arrested for Reckless Driving two days later.
#38
Amongst many other things, we lived together for around 2 years, she was unemployed for at least half of the time. She wanted her name on my house, bought a horse when she was unemployed. But the kicker is i have an activity I do every month. She was with her horse all day and comes home when I'm leaving to do my activity. She gets mad that I'm going to do my thing for the evening after she was doing her thing all day. She then proceeds to send a text message where she says she's going to k**l herself. Her parents, her friends, and the police all get involved and the police eventually find her. She gets brought home and I plan on sleeping on the couch and she comes out to yell at me for letting her go to bed on her own. She was amazing when everything was going her way, but good god was it a train wreck when it wasn't.
#39
The almost boyfriend: Had a "laundry room" which was a walk-in closet but he used it to hide a giant pile of dirty clothing. Maybe 100 pieces of clothing in there. When he wanted to wear something he would dig into the mountain, wash that one item, then repeat the cycle. He had a garbage room where he stored garbage, when he felt like it he would take 1 bag down to the dumpster. He also had the pizza box room. He ordered pizza every other day and kept the dirty boxes in one huge box a couch or something weird came in. He had 2 months notice that I was flying down to meet him in his apartment he had been living in for 3 years like this.
The awful ex: Our first day in our first apartment I asked him to help me with laundry. I asked him to put it away after I folded it all. As I started folding he would come over, grab *one* item, ask where to put it, then come back and repeat. But like... only took one thing at a time, even if there were 4 dish cloths in the pile. I was really confused about what in the actual f**k I was witnessing so I stopped him and ask why he was doing that. He had never done or seen laundry be done before. I knew in that moment that I had f****d up. (Although it took him bashing my head in with his fists for me to actually leave lol).
#40
We had $100 for the week to feed ourselves and our 3 kids until pay day. He spent $80 on Switch joycons.
"We can just borrow money from my mom or sister" he told me.
