It's supposed to be a time of joy.
But for too many people in abusive relationships, it's a time of fear.
With cases of domestic violence expected to peak over the festive season, one mother, a 46-year-old with three children, has spoken of her decade-long ordeal.
Hers is a story of hope - she finally got out. And she hopes that by speaking of what she went through, she will encourage others to seek help.
"Finally," she says, "I feel free this Christmas. I'm hoping 2022 is going to be my year."
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The woman, who the M.E.N is calling Helen to protect her identity, said: "Any celebrations and times of laughter and smiles such as Christmas were always a problem, if you're too happy you have to be brought down a peg or two.
"There was a tax to enjoyment and socialising with others because it was third party involvement. He wasn't in control - so that was a problem. I couldn't laugh freely so I would cap it."
Intelligent, well spoken and articulate, Helen describes how coercive control crept up on her.
"I had three very young children at the time I met my ex partner.
"I was a single parent and divorced and I was a bit lost with it all and vulnerable. I met him and married.
"I was from down south and he was Mancunian - and he wanted me to move up North, so I did with my young children.
"It began ever so slowly with coercive control.
"I had no friends, and I found myself isolated.
"Everyone I knew, including my own friends and family were in the South and I found myself being distanced from my own social circle. But he would say I wasn't safe, I couldn't trust people in the North.
"As time went on the disconnection took place, I was more and more isolated.
"It started off with 'rules' being enforced that seemed pretty reasonable at the time, such as waiting for him to come home to eat.
"It progressed into passive aggressive behaviour and micro aggressions, such as telling me not to wear certain clothes as I would get attacked, choosing what I wore and ate, choosing where we went to eat, saying it wasn't safe for me to be out without him, telling me not to take my car to the garage as the guys there would look at me and making out it was 'us versus them.'
As time went on Helen couldn't make friends. If she went for a coffee he would show up in the coffee shop. Her partner stopped her from working, saying he would look after her financially and warning her not to talk to the neighbours, claiming they were bad news.
She describes thinking it was 'cute' that he was taking care of her, not realising it was actually control.
She compares her ordeal to that of the proverbial boiling frog. Where the heat is turned up so gradually, there's no chance to jump out.
"It was financial, emotional and sexual. But it was all supposedly, because he wanted the best for me.
"He would say 'we are a family now, our loyalty is with each other - it is us versus the world'.
"The idea was 'everything that goes on in our life is ours, so nobody else gets to look in, to peek in, to be involved - whether it's an authority, family - nobody has a right. It is ours and us only'."
"So that keeps a culture of secrecy within the home so the kids and I don't speak about anything that goes on in the house," Helen says.
"He would punch doors and break things but until you have been hit yourself, you don't imagine that fist is ever going to come for you.
"By the end of seven years I would be dropping my son off at school with a black eye.
"There was always a reason it was my fault. I shouldn't have pushed, I shouldn't have made him angry, I shouldn't have done this or that.
"It just went on and on until I was forced to leave.
"I couldn't get help from the local authority, I was scared of the implications on the children, to be honest the help wasn't there - I couldn't find any.
"Eventually it was the police who got involved. I was driving and had parked up, he had come over and was pushing me around. A member of the public took down my registration plate and reported it to the police.
"It didn't look normal to the public but I had normalised it."
Helen says: "The police broke the door down and accessed the property. I wasn't there, when I did come home I phoned the police as they had left a note and said it had been reported.
"I still had nowhere to go. And then it happened again - and that was the breaking point.
"I felt like I was going mad. I hit rock bottom myself and became extremely ill - so then I reached out to some family."
Helen's situation was complicated by her past.
She had been married as a teenager and had had children young before they split.
But as they owned a property together, and her name was still on the paperwork, she was not eligible for help from the homeless services.
Helen felt it safer to stay with her abuser than to leave with nowhere to go and disrupt the lives of her children - keeping her trapped in what she describes as a 'vicious circle'.
Financially depleted by her partner, she reached out to her family 'in desperation'.
Thankfully, her family came through for her, finding her a roof over her head and helping her financially.
"They said 'we will help you, on the condition you never let him back in to you or your children's lives again,'" she says.
"That was the first step, they helped me get out."
Helen now had to learn how to be independent again.
"Over the course of my time with him I had lost the ability to interact with people," she says.
"It was very difficult to speak to strangers, to faces I didn't know.
"Even writing and filling out an application form was very, very difficult.
"I managed to get myself a job and I started ever so slowly taking back control."
Helen knew a new chapter in her life had really begun when she moved from Tameside to another part of Manchester, moving her children to different schools.
"It was almost like the stability had started," she says.
Now, with new friends, and a new confidence, she feels her life is back on track, but she admits she finds it hard to completely move on.
"It's been years, but I still feel like I am still in it," she says.
"I have PTSD from it and sometimes I wake up and forget where I am.
"I have been conditioned to think a certain way, behave a certain way - and I do struggle with that at times, although the reality is different. It's much better now.
"The mental, psychological and emotional abuse was far more powerful than the physical violence was.
"The physical violence was sporadic and was labelled as 'I'm so sorry, it will never happen again' - so you're thinking 'he has just lost control, it's not a regular thing.'
"I didn't view it as a regular thing, although looking back I can see it happened so many times.
"But the mental aspect of it is what was the shackles, that's how it feels - like shackles.
"I am safe from physical violence now, but I have not recovered from the wounds, the conditioning and all the trauma of what you can't see.
"The scars heal - but what they subject you to, which is like tormenting a person - that stays with you.
"I have emotional flashbacks and some days are really hard."
This Christmas, Helen plans to revel in 'wearing whatever I want, putting on whatever shoes I want'
"I'm free," she laughs. "I'm free to do whatever I want to do."
Lotus Sanctuary CIC is a national provider of Supported Accommodation for Vulnerable People who work with people who have suffered from domestic violence and find themselves homeless as a result.
Referrals Manager, Sarah Fellows says: "Each referral is different, and we see a whole range of domestic abuse take place.
"This can be physical, mental, sexual, coercive control and more recently we have seen an increase in honour-based violence.
"Coercive control is defined by controlling an individual with the threat of physical or sexual abuse and would say this is the most encountered type of abuse we see.
"With a large increase in gas-lighting, which can have a detrimental effect on our residents due to the self-doubt that follows with this.
"Every case is completely different. We have had those who are street homeless and experiencing domestic abuse from perpetrators on the streets, those who have been exploited and cuckooed in their own home, mothers with children, to those who have been married for 20 years and have recognised this later within their marriage.
"No person is the same.
"domestic violence can happen to anyone at all.
"It does not matter what your background is, where you come from, who you are, how old you are, domestic violence can happen at any time in your life.
"We have noticed a huge increase of domestic violence referrals come through from November 25 onward.
"This suggests that those who are on the street are now increasingly worried about having somewhere to stay during the colder months, so can sometimes go back to their perpetrator.
"It can also reflect the expectations to be with family over Christmas."
Sarah explains there has been a 120% increase in referrals for domestic violence victims, with over 60% of those being victims of coercive control and physical abuse.
She says 95% of these referrals have experienced deterioration of their mental health due to the violence they experience, and 72% of their referrals have not reported their abuse to the police for fear of repercussions.
Isabelle Younane, head of policy and campaigns at Women’s Aid, says over Christmas some abusers use a lack of support services being open to their advantage.
“Perpetrators of domestic abuse will be abusive throughout the year and this doesn’t stop over the festive period.
"If anything, perpetrators may escalate the abuse and use the lack of support services available to their advantage.
"With schools, workplaces, GP surgeries and other ‘safe places’ closed or running on skeleton staff, it is much more difficult for survivors to access help when they need it.
“Whilst it’s true that the additional stress families’ face around Christmas, increased alcohol consumption or financial pressures can escalate domestic abuse, it is vital to remember that these factors do not cause domestic abuse.
"The perpetrator of the abuse should always be held responsible for their own behaviour and there is no excuse for domestic abuse.
“To truly prioritise women’s safety, we must challenge the deeply-ingrained misogynistic attitudes that underpin violence against women and girls, not just during the festive period but 365 days a year.
We must ensure that life-saving specialist domestic abuse services are properly funded and see an increased focus on evidence-based education and community-based responses – such as the Women’s Aid Expect Respect Toolkit – which challenge the root causes of domestic abuse, promote healthy relationships, and drive a real shift in prevention.
"If you need support, Women’s Aid is here for you. Our Live Chat service, where you can speak directly to a support worker online, is available 7 days a week: https://chat.womensaid.org.uk/. Alternatively, you can email us, or get information and help through our survivors' handbook and forum. https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/.”
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