A hundred metres or so past the finish line at Crans Montana, Thibaut Pinot stood slumped over his handlebars, his face pressed against his forearms and hidden. His Groupama-FDJ soigneur stood by his side in wordless solidarity, reluctant to encroach on the period of mourning at the end of stage 13 of the Giro d'Italia.
The moment called for privacy, but a ring of reporters had already tightened around Pinot. The moment called for silence, but a group of Colombian fans on the other side of the crash barrier was boisterously serenading the day's victor Einer Rubio as he rolled by.
Pinot had spent almost the entirety of the shortened stage on the attack, at one point even closing in on becoming the virtual Giro d'Italia leader. He had looked the strongest of the three-man break on the final climb, too, accelerating repeatedly, but he had ended the day in second place, beaten to the line by Rubio in the dying metres.
This is Pinot's 14th and final season as a professional cyclist. He knows by now that this sport is cruel more often than it is kind, but that doesn't make days like this any easier. The pink jersey group rolled through the finish line, and still, Pinot didn't budge. Almost five minutes would pass before he could even lift his head.
When he did, the soigneur softly informed him that his presence was still required at the podium for the maglia azzurra of King of the Mountains, and he rolled back towards the dais to pick up the consolation prize. Across the street, a group of his fans held up a banner that read: 'Thibaut Pinot, Amore Infinito.' True, but only love can break your heart.
Spat with Cepeda
"I was up for it," Pinot said when he arrived in the mixed zone after the podium ceremony. "I was up for it for the whole climb, but unfortunately, I paid for those efforts in the sprint. I gave everything. I left everything out on the road today."
The precise expression Pinot used was "J'avais la rage," and it was hard not to think this performance was indeed a rage against the dying of the light. Pinot's window to win a Grand Tour already slammed shut when he abandoned, injured, two days before the end of the 2019 Tour de France, but he refused to resign himself to darkness.
In these closing months of his career, Pinot has returned to Italy for his favourite race with the aim of winning a stage, determined to excise, at least in part, the bitter memory of 2018, when he abandoned on the penultimate day after pushing himself to extremes in pursuit of the maglia rosa.
Cepeda was a big thorn in my side. Whatever happened, I didn't want him to win
Thibaut Pinot
On Friday, the Frenchman was among the early attackers on the climb of the Croix de Coeur, and he proved the best of the break on the final haul to Crans-Montana, pressing clear with Rubio and Jefferson Alexander Cepeda (EF Education-EasyPost). Pinot's first, rasping acceleration came with 12km to go, and he made at least half a dozen more during an intense tussle on the final climb.
"There was a headwind, and the gradients weren't the hardest. Crans Montana is quite a regular climb, and at 7% it's very complicated to drop guys from your wheel. It was complicated," said Pinot, who exchanged frustrated words with Cepeda at various points on the climb, exasperated by his lack of collaboration.
"Cepeda was a big thorn in my side. Whatever happened, I didn't want him to win, I would have put my heart and soul into it. I've been champing at the bit for fifteen days. If I lost my place on GC, it didn't matter. Eighth, seventh overall, I don't care, I wanted the stage."
With 4km to go, Pinot conjured up a mammoth effort to bring back a Cepeda attack, but by now, it was increasingly clear that Rubio was enjoying something of a free ride. When the Colombian accelerated in the final 400 metres, Pinot strained to follow, but he was unable to get back on terms before the road flattened within sight of the line.
"There was nothing else to do. If I didn't ride, we would have been caught by the pink jersey group, and then you end up with nothing, so…" Pinot said. "They know that I'm generous, that I don't calculate my efforts. I hope at least that they will thank me for being able to fight for the stage victory by the end. I knew I had to force destiny."
In overall standings, Pinot has risen five places to 10th, 3:13 behind Geraint Thomas (Ineos), while he holds a ten-point lead in the mountains competition. His aim on this Giro, however, remains to win a stage.
"The jersey is a consolation, fortunately, because it would have been more difficult without it," said Pinot. "There's a lot of disappointment because I wanted to win a stage, that was my objective of this Giro. I think it's the most difficult Giro I've done in my career. But that's the beauty of the Giro too."
As Pinot spoke, the fans bearing the 'Amore Infinito' banner had assembled by the mixed zone and begun to serenade their idol. "Sha-la-la-la-la-la, Thiiiiii-baut Pinot," they sang with increasing intensity until their chanting started to drown out his words altogether. When his media duties ended, he walked across to thank the travelling contingent of Pinot Ultras, raising a smile as he stood in for a picture.
The tattoo on Pinot's arm, famously, bears the almost crass slogan chosen by the rider as a young man: 'Solo la vittoria è bella.' Experience has surely taught the older man the hollowness of that statement. He must know by now that victories alone don't earn the kind of devotion afforded to him here. The beauty lies not in winning, but in refusing to be beaten.
"The mountains are only getting started," Pinot said. "So I want to have a go again."
