Rejoice, rejoice, for the wires crackle with news that viewers will be afforded a rare opportunity to glimpse the distaff JD Salinger de nos jours, Sharon Osbourne, alongside her equally elusive family. Fox TV has apparently won a network bidding war to commission six hour-long variety shows starring the Osbournes. We are promised music, audience participation, comedy sketches and satire in which Ozzy will apparently "skewer pop culture".
What is it about that summary that somehow turns one's water to ice with dread? Surely not the musical numbers, which represent manna for those of us who feared we might end our days without ever hearing Kelly sing again. And surely not the notion of Ozzy as pop-culture satirist: after all, he certainly seems the quick-witted, lightning-riposte type, doesn't he? What could possibly go wrong here?
