I wasn’t sure I’d ever receive the letter that addressed me as “Dear Donor”. But as I read the words written inside, I felt overwhelmed:
You’ve completely transformed mine and my family’s life. I will never be able to thank you enough for giving me my life back, but I’m profoundly grateful for your selfless act of kindness …
It had been a year since I’d donated one of my kidneys to a stranger, and it had been a difficult journey at times. But this letter, from the woman who is now thriving thanks to one of my kidneys, reminded me it had all been worthwhile. She told me she was now able to go for long walks and enjoy life again.
You’ve enabled me to be an active mother and [given me] the ability to live life to the full.
I didn’t really know much about kidney disease until I started my job with the North West Ambulance Service. I’ve worked there for seven years alongside my role as a mental healthcare assistant, and part of my role is transporting patients to their kidney dialysis appointments.
I’ve seen first-hand the huge impact kidney disease can have on patients’ lives, and how they have to put everything on hold for dialysis multiple times a week just to stay alive. It’s a life-altering struggle that isn’t really visible unless it affects you.
I quickly got to know my regulars, but I didn’t think about the possibility of donating a kidney until an old friend wrote a Facebook post about his own donation to a young lad he’d never met.
I got in touch to find out more about his experience, and although he’d found the process difficult at times, I was inspired to get in touch with my local transplant clinic at the Royal Liverpool hospital to find out more.
I was referred to a transplant coordinator called Ann, who was available to answer any questions I had from that moment on. She talked me through the process of donating a kidney, including all the tests I’d have to undergo to be accepted. It would take a long time to tick all the boxes, but I knew it was something I wanted to do.
When I told my family and close friends about my plans, some of them were worried. As well as being concerned about the impact on my health, I’ve got two young children and a twin sister, and they wondered what would happen if one of them needed my kidney in future – the chance of being a suitable match is higher among relatives.
My response was: “But what if they don’t?” By donating to a stranger, I had the chance to help someone right now, and I didn’t want to miss that opportunity.
It took about a year to undergo the blood tests, scans and psychological assessments that were necessary to ensure I could go ahead with surgery. It was tough, juggling regular appointments with work, but I kept my end goal in mind to get me through it. Once I’d been approved, they found me a match on the waiting list, and my surgery was booked for December 2023.
Nerves hit me for the first time on the day of my operation. But I knew that while I was waiting for surgery, someone else was waiting for the transplant that would change their life. So when I was asked one last time if I was sure I wanted to go ahead, my reply was firm: “This is 100% what I want.”
When I woke up after the five-hour surgery, I was surrounded by drips and drainage bags, and faced a long road to recovery. I’m used to having a very active job and going to the gym regularly, but now I had to rest up for 12 weeks to allow my body to completely heal.
Thankfully, my lost earnings were covered by funding from the NHS Foundation Trust – while you can’t be paid for making an organ donation, the NHS ensures donors aren’t financially worse off as a result.
Perhaps the hardest thing was not being able to see my children for three weeks – they live 25 minutes from where I live, and I wasn’t allowed to drive.
I was told that the woman who had received my kidney was doing well, but that was all the information I was given. After donating a kidney to a stranger, it’s up to the recipient to decide whether they want to get in touch.
Day after day, things improved, and the donor team was really happy with how the surgery had gone. It was a year later and my life was back to normal when the woman who’d received my kidney wrote me her heartfelt letter. It made what I’d done feel a bit more real. I’ve got it framed on my bedroom wall now – and it makes me feel a bit emotional every time I read it. I hope that one day I’ll get to meet her in person, but that’s entirely up to her.
Today, I’m a member of the Robert Dangoor Partnership’s Buddy Support Service, which matches potential kidney donors with people like me who have been through the process, to talk through what’s involved. Because for me, despite the hard moments – the hospital appointments, the slow recovery – it was totally worthwhile.
It’s a bit of a claim to fame – when people find out I gave a kidney to a total stranger, they’re always really surprised. But most importantly, whatever happens in future I can look back and say: “In 2023, I gave someone a new life.”
And I don’t think there’s any better feeling than that.
