Ah, the office affair! Balmy days filled with email flirtation, holding hands at lunch, a snatched smooch over the photocopier. Sadly, eventually, all modern romance comes to a critical crossroads: when should we tell the boss? It used to be an unnecessary hurdle; the chorus of wolf-whistling as you arrived at work together for the first time was usually enough. But in recent years employers have started insisting on full disclosure at an early stage. Some have banned romance altogether (resulting, of course, in even more sneaking around).
There is, however, some good news for the office lovers out there. According to Stephanie Losee and Helaine Olen, authors of Office Mate: The Employee Handbook for Finding - and Managing - Romance on the Job, American employers are taking a more enlightened view: fewer than 5% of HR bods believe romance should be banned (compared to 9% of firms who actually had bans in place in 2006). Phew. See you at the photocopier in five minutes?
Not that you want to do too much flirting at work, especially if you are already married. Business World reports that the phenomenon of the "office spouse" is causing all sorts of trouble at home. One in 10 people say they have a platonic "wife" or "husband" at work and 20% said their actual spouse or significant other gets jealous.
But if you're not allowed to flirt at work, what are you supposed to do to fill the time? This is the tragic quandary of one distressed banker who wrote in to the FT with the following question: "How do I cope with office life when there is no work?" Apparently, things are so bad in the banking industry that whole hoards of people are paid to sit at their desks doing nothing. Poor love. He needs to cultivate the art of looking busy. But in the meantime, might I suggest he takes heart from the certainty that this is one work dilemma unlikely to last long.
Lastly, I don't know about you, but I no longer feel safe at work. I worry about being attacked by crazed computers; I fret my boss is out to get me. For once, I'm not being paranoid. The Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) has warned that Britain is a dangerous place to do business - our weak anti-bribery laws mean companies face a substantial risk of becoming entangled in corruption. The warning follows the government's decision to abandon its investigation into alleged corruption by BAE Systems in its dealings with Saudi Arabia. And why does this matter to us humble employees? Well, aside from the fact that the OECD report isn't exactly going to encourage international business to revive our rather distressed economy, there's also the fact that if you work for a corrupt business, at some point you're going to have to go along with, or participate in, that corruption - or risk losing your job. And that's not a choice you'd wish on anyone. Not even the bankers.
