"Ok, I'm leaving without you... BYE!"
It's a phrase many a parent will have uttered out of frustration.
You've been out, say at the park, for a while and it's time to head home but your little one just isn't paying any attention to you.
They don't want to leave and you're getting wound up that they won't just do as they're told and follow you back to the car.
But two parenting experts have urged mums and dads to think twice before saying these words.
Parent coach Kristin and child therapist Deena together share advice on their page, Big Little Feelings and a recent post explained why you should never threaten to leave without your toddler.
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The pair explained how saying these words is "trigger zone city" for kids and can be very "scary" for them.
They said: "You're on a walk with your toddler. You need to get dinner on, the baby is screaming, and your toddler is walking backwards while looking for worms, despite asking him to get in the stroller many times.
"How many times have we heard (or done) this at the playground? (Real talk, even WE have been guilty of this in a pushed-to-our-limits moment).
"Okay, I’m leaving → toddler still playing, ignoring parent → Okay, I mean it, I’m leaving now - starts walking away → toddler still plays, looking up from time to time → Okay BYYYE! → toddler shrill screams, NOO!!! And sobs, running towards parent.
"Leaving the park - or somewhere fun - is TRIGGER-ZONE-CITY for toddlers. They don’t want to leave the park, they feel sad, and they want to STAY.
"When we tell our kids 'I’m LEAVING YOU BYE!' we’re accidentally telling them: Your feelings about wanting to stay don’t matter, I’m leaving now, get over it. And, there's a chance I might leave you for real one day. This is pretty scary for their little brains."
Instead of using these words and phrases, Kristin and Deena recommend acknowledging how much fun the child is having, by saying something like "you’re having so much fun", followed by "it's hard to leave when you're having fun".
Then parents need to be clear on setting boundaries, telling their little one "it's time to go home" and mentioning something else fun that they can do together once they get back to the house.
They add: "The key is: Boundaries. Don’t wait until we’re in full meltdown mode. After the first two warnings, firmly, confidently hold the boundary by gently removing your toddler and helping them home. It sounds like this: 'Leaving IS very hard. I'm going to help you now'.
"And yes, they may be VERY upset at this boundary. It’s ok for them to be upset. We’re okay with that feeling.
"But we’re keeping their emotional (and physical) security intact, while showing them that it is time to go home now. No fear involved."
The post has since gone viral, being shared and liked thousands of times.
Many parents also commented to share their thoughts, with one person saying: "Makes me feel so guilty about losing my patience when they were little. Time warnings helped too!"
Another replied: "I love this page SO much! You are teaching me to be a much better Mimi than I was a Mom. Thank you."
A third vowed to work on doing this in future with their partner.
However, not everyone agreed with what the experts had to say. A different user proclaimed: "Walk now or you're punished. End of the story. I am not about to tiptoe around a toddler to avoid a problem. Really???????. My mother would of handed me my a** if she had to speak twice. This is what's wrong with this world."
What's one phrase you never say to your kids and why? Let us know in the comments below.
