It’s the eternal(ish) dilemma: “I love you, but I don’t want to go.”
Couples dream of gathering a group of their closest friends, favorite cousins, and charming uncles to bear witness to the start of a hoped-for lifetime of happiness. It begs the question: “Who wouldn’t want to spend a long weekend witnessing the union of two beloveds?
TikToker Gigi Klein (@gigicomedy1), that’s who.
Destination weddings: yay or nay?
“I don’t mean to be a [expletive], but if you invite me to a destination wedding and don’t pay for me to go to the destination, I’m not going. I gotta spend $4,000 to watch you get married in Punta Cana? ” she quipped in a recent TikTok video.
Then the snark rolled in. One user commented, “This is exactly why we did a destination wedding. Filter out the fake friends then surprised everyone who came with a luxury beach house.”
Another viewer said, “Weddings are so expensive as it is, and now we have to pay for your transportation too? Fine, sit home and watch us all have the time of our lives.”
That might summarize the entirety of the problem. For the wedding havers, it’s a once, never-to-be-repeated extravaganza of an event. For wedding goers (like Klein), they might ask a question like, “I gotta fly six hours and pay for it to watch you kiss your balding husband, are you insane?”
The psychology of attending weddings
The psychology of weddings can be fraught. It is performance, hope, and the future colliding in the same place, on the same day in a lifetime.
“Perhaps, and precisely because life and people are not actually perfect, magical thinking serves as a contagious defense in all the [wedding] preparations beforehand,” opined Dr. Brenda Berger in Psychology Today.
She goes on to note that in stressful situations like weddings, emotional regressions can occur. In more than just the wedding couple. The wedding itself grows in outsize importance because there is attachment and separation happening. So the event becomes a kind of “transitional space,” similar to the notion of a transitional object (think: Teddy Bear).
Also, the wedding can become a kind of “ceremonial granting of temporary permission to feel omnipotent.” While the entirety of the event becomes a magical thing, “a reflection, in all its detail of their wishes and everything they dream of becoming.”
A wishlist?
The couple doesn’t just want to look and feel beautiful while having a once-in-a-lifetime event. They want the event and everyone there to stand as a kind of surety for happiness.
So perhaps it’s better to think of the destination wedding invite as a kind of personified wish list–the invitees are being included in this magical space because they, too, bring a little magic to share.
Or maybe it is closer to TikToker Lianna’s opinion: “You’re the person they felt obligated to invite but don’t actually care if they come lol.”
Multiple TikTokers observed that you don’t have to go, while the site Brides advises that if “no” is the answer, say it promptly, don’t overexplain, and send a nice gift.
Rooms at the Zemi Miches Punta Cana All-Inclusive Resort, Curio Collection by Hilton start at $573 during the December high season. Because, let’s face it, no one is getting married at the Hilton Garden Inn ($157/night), in paradise.
@gigicomedy1 #destinationwedding #fyp #viral #hottake #comedy #leavemealone ♬ original sound – Gigi Klein
The Mary Sue reached out to Gigi for comment via TikTok.
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