So, in the end, it comes down to Rhydian versus Leon versus Same Difference. Dannii versus Dannii versus Simon. Not a final that anyone had predicted at the start of the series, when the Riddler made Danni apparently want to vomit, and prompted Simon to predict he would be the first live act voted off.
Over by over coverage here from 7.15pm.
7.15pm: Yippee! Here we go. Dannii is apparently not talking to Sharon Osbourne after Mrs O when on Graham Norton and pointed to her bum when asked what she thought Dannii looked like.
7.17pm:A curiously muted opening for what Dermot called the biggest night in British music. Each contestant gets to sing three songs. Now we are hotting up. Dermot introduces the judges: "Four people who have become an institution and after tonight probably need to be in one". He is of course, correct. Dannii, FYI, is looking stunning. What colour is that dress?
7.19pm: Innovation tonight with a Eurovision style live cross to the acts' home town, well not that Rhydian is from Cardiff, but you get my drift.
7.20pm: Same Difference first up to sing their Christmas song. There's theory that part of the reason they have got this far are the brilliant-conceived VT stories. Remember Sarah and her tears over her bullying. Cripes, this is going on forever!
7.23pm: Same Difference singing All I Want For Christmas. They are introduced by a girl and they are flying. Have they just one. Louis stars at the desk. Sharon has a frozen smile, but that could be the botox. Simon strokes his pen thoughtfully. Crowd go wild.
7.25pm: So wild in fact that no-one can hear Louis's assessment. Which is notable for the fact that he doesn't criticise them. For the first time ever. A stray piece of foil hangs over one of the cameras. Dannii and Sharon opine that it is the best show opening ever. Simon tells Sean and Sarah that they are the underdogs but that "Britain could pull off an upset." Hmmmm. Live cross to Portsmouth puts Eurovision to shame. Is that Jeff Brazier? That tan. That hair. Sean and Sarah keep bouncing up and down. They seem to have reverted to their MO from their first edition, which nearly got them chucked off at the first hurdle.
7.36pm: Dannii Minogue introduces Leon, who returns home to Scotland, visits his school and mum, confirming his essential decency and boringness. But it is much more emotional than Same Difference's. Leon smoothly takes on White Christmas. Dannii's eyes look moist. The crowd waves their hands. Leon signs well, but he seems stilted. The judges shower praise on Leon's transformation from shy boy to confident star-in-waiting. Simon says its 1-0 to Same Difference. The crowd cheer, before realising that they should be booing.
7.40pm: A cross to Scotland. The Lord Provost is so excited that we cannot even take the placard down from his face. First rule of TV broken.
7.44pm: Rhydian. We are indebted to the Sun for revealing the behind the scenes tussle over his hair. Rhydian prefers a more bouffant style. Dannii (and, very interestingly, Simon, getting in on the act) urge him to wear it down.
7.46pm: Rhydian is singing O Holy Night. Beautiful.
7.50pm: What is it about Rhydian? Mylene Klass is asking Cardiff. Residents tell her that he is a great ambassador for Wales and is fit. Is it my imagination or is he getting blonder and more tanned each week. Lines are open. Duets are next.
7.58pm: Am I right in thinking that the duets are the riskiest part of the show? Ohmigod? Sarah from Same Difference does have a smile that seems to have been fixed in place with a nail gun. Jason Donovan comes on to sing Any Dream Will Do. And he has to temerity to complain to Jonathan Ross that nobody thinks he is cool. Now he has hoisted Sarah up, temporarily preventing her from doing the phone sign.
8.03pm: How many times have we heard You Raise Me Up on The X Factor over the years? I am going to have to check in with MG statistician Chris Tryhorn on that. But Rhydian and Katherine Jenkins singing with great emotion. She does rather sing him off the stage though, like Australia's very own Dame Joan Sutherland once did to Ella Fitzgerald on US TV. Katherine is full of praise for Rhydian, she has even given up watching her new squeeze Gethin on Strictly Come Dancing to sing with him. As well all are.
8.10pm: Leon is doing a swing version of Better the Devil you know. And suddenly Kylie appears and STEALS THE SHOW. That oufit all black lace and micro pants is going to be written about in the annals in the same paragraph as Liz Hurley's safety pin frock.
8.18pm: Happy memories of the auditionees. And now they are here on stage. And still none of them can sing for quids. One Moment in Time. ITV Saturday night at its finest. Simon: "Actually guys, you made me feel proud to be British."
8.28pm: Round two to Rhydian. Again. Now each act gets to sing their favourite song. Same Difference chose to reprise Breaking Free from High School Musical. Good choice and even the judges are on their feet. Apart from Louis. I feel a career in kid's TV awaits. This is not necessarily a criticism. Sharon: "This is anyone's competition" Except yours and Louis. Simon: "You representing England can actually win something for this country." Is he talking about Eurovision?
8.34pm: Leon sings You Don't Know Me. I fear he might lose out to Same Difference. It is the Scotland vote versus the kids of the nation. Does anyone wish to call it?
8.40pm: Rhydian sings Somewhere from West Side Story. Anyone getting chills? Standing ovation from the judges. Even Louis half got up. "You deserve to win this competition." Simon endorses Louis' comments, cut to Same Difference's Sarah for a reaction shot? Oh, no we don't.
8.48pm: So back at 9.35pm. But they are already advertising the 2008 auditions. Talk about overkill. Does anyone want a live blog of All Star Family Fortunes? Is London Burning? Er, hang on I fear that's my Sainsbury's pizza.
9.36pm: Three.. two.. one... And we're back in the room. Britain, it's your moment of truth. And it is going to take one hour. Okay, so fess up, who has voted tonight?
9.41pm: Dermot pops up to inform us that the voting is close. Isn't it always? Kylie's new single. Boppy. I wonder what Dannii feels watching her sis on stage. It could so easily have been her if life worked out differently. Dannii was the big child star in Oz before anyone had heard of Kylie. See them singing a duet on Young Talent Time circa 1987. But I digress. Who is going to be kicked out now and get the bronze medal?
9.50pm: Phone lines are frozen. The final three are back in their evening wear. First act through in no particular order. It's Rhydian. So, out of the competition is....Same Difference. Sean and Sarah, it is time to leave the house. They are still smiling. "You haven't seen the last of us, I'm sure," says Sarah, with all the aplomb of a Stepford Wife. I think that she is probably right. They could be the new Hi 5. Simon seems quite fatherly and emotional at their departure. He has a heart after all.
9.57pm: Leon is singing the Christmas single. Not much emotion on display. Has he given up? I wouldn't want to buy this single. Whoever wins or loses, Dannii is going to have to display happiness and sadness at the same time. Does her face have enough elasticity?
10.01pm: Leon finishes singing. Judges are full of praise for Leon but he looks like he knows that he has lost. Now all his friends have come on and mum and gran to wish him will. He is in tears. Dermot claims 1% voting difference between the two boys. Well after that tear-fest their has to be a surge of Leon votes, surely?
10.12pm: Rhydian's turn. Does anyone suspect that this song suits his vocal range much better, and might have been chosen on the expectation that he will win? Just had a text from a mate: "Niki would have sung that much better than both of them."
10.10pm: A look back at Rhydian. It is amazing how much the judges didn't like him at the start. Another tear-fest. But will great aunt's stern words to go out and win be enough?
10.24pm: The lines have closed.
10.29pm: We are back in the studio. And back in Edinburgh. And Cardiff.
10.32pm: The winner is Leon. LEON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What an outrage. A triumph of sentimentality over talent, I'm afraid. Gordon Brown is going to lose the next election over this, as England and Wales get their revenge against Scotland. Leon might have won, but Rhydian was the star.
10.39pm: All the finalists are back for a sing along. Leon in tears. Endeth not with a bang, but with a sob. Discussion about this result will run and run. And run. Thanks to all who took part. x
