The X Factor 2009: the second audition show

Jamie Archer, or 'Jamie Afro' as his friends somewhat obviously call him, is a rocker, a category traditionally poorly received by The X Factor audience. But he totally rocks out Sex on Fire by Kings of Leon, leading to unique audition experience: Simon Cowell singing along Photograph: Ken McKay/ITV/PA Wire

This trio of girls, Miss Fitz, impressed with a swing version of Britney Spears's Toxic. They included Gemma, 26, right, who auditioned in 2006 but didn't get past boot camp in the 'year of Leona' Photograph: Ken McKay/ITV/PA

Carpenter Daryl Markham, 40, wanted to audition last year, but it was his brother's wedding day, where he was best man. Then his brother was diagnosed with lung cancer and died six weeks later. Louis 'You have got the most amazing commercial voice'. Tears flow before and after the audition, when with four yes votes he is straight through to boot camp Photograph: Ken McKay/ITV/PA

The snake-hipped, leather-clad Behrouz, from Iran, complete with eyes that are slightly too scary for ITV1 at peak time. Upon asked what the reaction was to his performance in Iran, he replied: 'It might be dangerous to say this but they would come in with proper rifles.' Which elicited this response from Simon: 'OK so they threatened to shoot you.' Boot camp fodder Photograph: Ken McKay/ITV/PA

Meet Rozelle. 'Everybody's Freeeeee ... to feel good.' Oops, wrong song, song decade, wrong singer. But similar names. Rozelle has already come 4,500 miles from Trinidad and Tobago, leading to fears from producers that her 'X Factor journey' might be redundant. She can sure belt out a tune, in this case Jennifer Hudson's One Night Only which, on the strength of her audition, it certainly won't be Photograph: Ken McKay/ITV/PA

Nowadays, no talent show judge can rush to condemn an act purely on looks, lest the performer turns out to be the next SuBo. Alas, Zoe and Lisa from The Stunners appear to be the deaf leading on the deluded. 'We’re stunning and we can stun people with our voices and we think we’re beautiful obviously,' the pair told the judges. If only they had read last Monday's Guardian, and these pearls from Fiona Bruce (she knows, she's been there). 'If you look like the back end of the bus, as a woman you won't get the job. Twas ever thus.' Photograph: Ken McKay/ITV/PA