If you're looking for practical, sensible fashion advice, the Twenty Commandments page in Vogue Hommes International isn't really the place to start. It's the handiwork of a couple of guys called Angus Weathertank and Loïc Prigent - somehow, when you see those names, you just know they're not going to tell you how to put together a stylish but classy look using only bargains from TK Maxx. And so it proves. "Our 'must have': Burberry Napoleonic Horseman Jacket," offers one commandment - advice you should follow if you want to look, in every sense of the phrase, like a Gay Hussar. "Shorts will be short. Very short," commands another - advice you should follow if you want to look completely disgusting.
But, occasionally, they hit the nail on the end. "You just aren't listening!" howls one commandment - well, that's because you keep saying it's a good idea to dress up like a flamboyantly homosexual 18th-century dragoon, but do go on. "We said no, no and again no to leather trousers. Result: they're everywhere."
This is common sense. I don't know what could possess designers to once again start making leather trousers - not really an item of clothing so much as a midlife crisis with pockets - but they have. Unless you're planning to spend the rest of the weekend perusing Ferrari brochures and plotting to get the family out of the way so you can slake your fell desires with your 22-year-old secretary, you don't need me to tell you not to go there.
