Going up
Blood sports missing the good old days when you could tear small furry animals apart? Set your hounds on an emotionless Scotsman instead. Gone to ground!
Idealism As seen in George W Bush, a man of "genuine integrity" and "political courage". Now, which other famous statesman might want to be thought of that way?
Grrr . . . pillow talk "On that night I needed that love Cherie gave me, selfishly. I devoured it to give me strength. I was an animal following my instinct." This is an actual quote from the book, by the way.
Appalling premonitions In which, for example, John Smith dies unexpectedly and the dreamer replaces him as leader of the Labour party.
The contents of our stomachs Did we really want to picture Blair and Brown "like lovers desperate to get to love-making"?
Going down
Torture "I totally disagree with it," says Blair. So that's that cleared up.
One of the Milibands Ed? David? One brother has "clear leadership qualities", which presumably means the other doesn't. If only they weren't impossible to tell apart . . .
The royals The queen could be "a little haughty", apparently, while Princess Diana was "manipulative". Who'd have guessed?
Hilarious tabloid fantasies That story about Cherie sharing a shower with her friend Carole Caplin? Just a "fable".
