Oh, to be a fly on the wall of the Oval Office right now. For months, the pressure has been steadily building on Donald Trump as evidence mounts that his friendship with the world’s most notorious pedophile, Jeffrey Epstein, was far closer than he’d previously indicated.
Trump will have been thankful for recent distractions like the Putin visit and his military takeover of DC dominating headlines. But if he thought we’d just forget all about the Epstein files, he’s deluded, as it’s practically the one political question that unites the nation: who’s on that list and what sick stuff did they do?
We may soon find out. The Epstein files have now been handed over to the House Oversight Committee for review, with Committee Chair James Corner confirming receipt, promising transparency, and underlining that they will be released to the public “at some point”. We can only hope that this vague promise means sooner rather than later.
Trump is clearly feeling the heat. He’s torn between satisfying his base’s demand for their release and trying his best to block it – and you can’t do both at the same time. His solution? The files will be released, but whatever and whoever is in them doesn’t matter because… *drumroll* it’s all a Democrat hoax!
Speaking in the Oval Office, Trump was asked directly whether he wants them released and said:
“I’m in support of keeping it open. Innocent people shouldn’t be hurt. But I’m in support of keeping it totally open. I couldn’t care less. You’ve got a lot of people that could be mentioned in those files who don’t deserve to be. Because he knew everybody in Palm Beach. Uh, I don’t know anything about that …”
Q: The DOJ is sending some of the Epstein files over to the House Oversight Committee. Are you in support of them releasing them?
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) August 22, 2025
TRUMP: Innocent people shouldn't be hurt. You have a lot of people that could be mentioned in those files that don't deserve to be because he knew… pic.twitter.com/gtntRpLhHj
He continued:
“It’s a Democrat hoax! It’s just a hoax! The whole Epstein thing is a Democrat hoax. … The Democrats don’t know what to do so they brought up that stuff. Bill Clinton was on that plane and went to the island supposedly 28 times. I don’t wanna bring that up, frankly. … Now this is a Democratic hoax to try and get the significance of what we’ve done over the past seven months… Nobody’s ever seen anything like it. They say it’s number one in history!”
Very unshook Sir, very in command. Totally unsuspicious.
The heat is on
Trump supporters should be undergoing some intense cognitive dissonance right now, as for years they insisted that the Epstein files must be exposed. Now they are, but their Lord and Savior is trying to convince them that they shouldn’t pay any attention to them whatsoever, and that anyone mentioned in them (maybe a certain president, say) may be completely innocent.
It’s hard not to see this as a feeble attempt at damage control. Grab some popcorn though, because however this shakes out, it’s going to be fun.
