There’s been quite a boo-hoo-hoo lately over the future of Doctor Who. The show is widely regarded as the BBC’s biggest franchise. Yet it was an intergalactic flop on Disney+, where global audiences have proved immune to the charms of sonic screwdrivers and monsters made of glorified cardboard boxes. With the Tardis very much in a twist, it was confirmed in October that the BBC-Disney Whovian alliance has run its course. In the end, it was almost as fleeting as Christopher Eccleston’s tenure as a Time Lord.
There is, however, time for one final collaboration – a wonkily bland spin-off absolutely nobody asked for in which the Doctor’s friends at UNIT fend off his old foes, the Sea Devils. The War Between the Land and the Sea isn’t the first attempt at an expanded Whoniverse – as fans of Torchwood (Doctor Who but emo) will recall. That series was the brainchild of Russell T Davies during his first stint at the helm of Who. He now takes another punt on the concept of an MCU for Doctor Who with this dreary, talky extension of the brand.
Honestly, it’s all a bit fishy. Whose heart doesn’t sink upon hearing the Doctor’s latest adventures will involve UNIT – the no-thrills MI5 of the Whoniverse? Across the Doctor’s many incarnations, it’s always been a reliable rule of thumb that the more UNIT in an episode, the more boring the results. That lesson is delivered all over again in this OK-ish mini-series that has decent production values but suffers from a consistent crisis of tone.
The first two episodes (of five) are far more slow-moving than regular Who, suggesting it is aimed at an older audience (kids will be reaching for their second screens in no time). But its attempts to wrestle with big themes, such as the destruction of the seas and the vanity and ineffectiveness of career politicians, are comedically simplistic. It comes as no surprise to learn that its release date was pushed forward. The BBC will have wanted to get it out of the way before it charts a post-Disney Doctor Who (with Billie Piper possibly coming in as the new Doctor).
There is an impressive cast – so impressive they probably wonder what they’re doing on a rush-released Doctor Who spin-off. Our hero is Russell Tovey’s Barclay Pierre-Dupont, a junior functionary at UNIT who finds himself accidentally at the front line of an existential struggle between humanity and the Sea Devils (given the less “problematic” name of Homo Aqua).
Tovey isn’t quite nerdy enough to convince as a minor bureaucrat who has blundered his way into a top diplomatic role following an administrative mess-up. But his bizarre casting is merely a splash in the pond compared to the great big wave of “what the heck?” kicked up by Gugu Mbatha-Raw. How she was convinced to don layers of prosthetics to play the Sea Devil ambassador to humanity, Salt, is anyone’s guess. Whatever the reason, having her portray a 21st-century version of the Creature from the Black Lagoon is surely a waste of the talents of the star of the best-ever episode of Black Mirror (“San Junipero”, obviously) and of the recent Apple TV+ thriller Surface.
She’s all at sea as a monosyllabic fish-lady who arrives in London in a huge tank to lead negotiations between the Baddies Formerly Known as the Sea Devils and humanity. Sadly, her character gets to do little beyond glare portentously at bumbling Barclay, whom the fish-people have selected as the best person to lead humanity’s negotiations (for reasons yet to be explained). On the other hand, at least the BBC has kitted her out in decent make-up (helped presumably by all that Disney cash). The special effects in general are impressive, though for a show with “War” in the title, the lack of action is a letdown.
Several UNIT regulars return – including Jemma Redgrave as head of operations, Kate Lethbridge-Stewart, and Ruth Madeley as science whiz Shirley Anne Bingham. But where’s the Doctor in all this? Absent – though the script doesn’t get bogged down explaining why the character is too busy to save the Earth from these pesky piscines. Davies, meanwhile, works hard at crow-barring in an environmental message – early on, Salt explains that her people are being poisoned by humanity and all the toxic waste we’ve been pumping into the oceans. It’s a reasonable point – but the well-deserved finger-wagging doesn’t do much for the sluggish pace or the lack of a Doctor.
Let’s be honest, even at its best, Doctor Who was never about the scintillating drama or cracking dialogue. We tuned in because the Doctor was such an engaging character – a sci-fi Sherlock Holmes fuelled by 110 per cent proof quirkiness. Piper’s take – if she is indeed the next Doctor – on the Gallifrey gadabout will ride again when a Christmas special lands in 2026. By that time, the unsuccessful Disney deal will be a fading memory. So, too, you suspect, will be this forgettable attempt at bringing fishy fun to underserved Whovians.
