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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Tim Dowling, Hadley Freeman, Vic Keegan, Catherine Shoard

The un-ageing process

Tim Dowling

What would be the best thing about getting younger every day?
The opportunity to re-visit all one's old vices, knowing that no amount of excess would stop you from getting fitter and healthier with each passing day. If that is indeed how this process works.

And what would be the worst?
The main problem is obviously the fact that everyone else is heading in the opposite direction. One wouldn't have a generation of people to share complaints and prejudices with, and you'd probably have to seek out new, more suitable friends every few years. And I would be very worried about how things finish up.

If you could relive one period of your life but with the knowledge you have now, what would it be – and what would you do differently?
I'd be reluctant to change anything in my past for fear that I wouldn't end up where I am now, which I suppose means I'm happy with my lot. But if that's true I have a funny way of showing it. If I had to live my life over I would pay more attention in French class this time.

Are you looking forward to growing old?
I'm looking forward to it. I'm bloody doing it. I've got a considerable part of it out of the way now. So far it hasn't been so difficult, but whether you're living your life forwards or backwards, I think the end bit is to be dreaded. Either way, it won't be pretty.

Tim Dowling is a journalist for the Guardian.

Vic Keegan

What would be the best thing about getting younger every day?
Apart from looking in the mirror every few minutes it would be knowing you have an agreed span of life with a fixed exit date. Wow, I could do some serious backward planning ...

And what would be the worst?
They stop serving me in bars. Oh no, deal's off.

If you could relive one period of your life but with the knowledge you have now, what would it be – and what would you do differently?
Silly question. The 60s of course: Liberation and the greatest explosion of rock music ever known or likely to be. If I'd realised then that they would still be around today I'd have taken singing lessons.

Are you looking forward to growing old?

Bit late for me to be looking forward, but yes. Health permitting, you can do practically anything you could do previously only with less stupidity. Everything's good about growing old ... except actually growing old.

Victor Keegan writes a weekly technology column and leaders in the Guardian as well as a fortnightly economics column on guardian.co.uk

Hadley Freeman

What would be the best thing about getting younger every day?
Probably the fashions. I truly love things like Peter Pan blouses, Mary Jane shoes, corduroy overalls and coloured wool tights. But if you wear any of the above over the age of five you run the risk of being mistaken for Grayson Perry. Also, I'd really like to be able to sing songs from Sesame Street out loud without being called "quirky".

And what would be the worst?

Living back home with my parents would be great (it took them about five years longer than they expected before they were able to throw me out in the first place). But having to go back to school and pretend to care about trigonometry and German verbs again would be a definite bummer. Also, I equate "young" with "stupid", purely going by my own personal experience, so I wouldn't like getting stupider every day. And, I'd presumably have to go out with 20 something boys again. I'm getting depressed just thinking about this.

If you could relive one period of your life but with the knowledge you have now, what would it be – and what would you do differently?
My 20s, no question. There is no way of living your 20s in a dignified manner so I would request to be induced into a decade long coma and wake up just in time for my 30th birthday.

Are you looking forward to growing old?
Oh definitely. For a start, I can only get less stupid as the years pass, and maybe even begin to forget some incidents caused by my youthful stupidity. Best of all, I can return to the fashions mentioned in my first answer. Little blouses, coloured tights, buckle shoes: only suitable for eight-year-olds and 80-year-olds. Frankly, I'm living for the day when I can return home, fashionably speaking.

Hadley Freeman is the deputy fashion editor of The Guardian.

Catherine Shoard

What would be the best thing about getting younger every day?
Not needing an excuse to unearth my toys. At least once a day I do think: Bessie the Drumming Dog on Wheels would love that little slope. Or: you could fit a whole lot of play-dough in that pigeonhole. You suppress the impulse, but it would be nice not to need to.

And what would be the worst?
Losing the bus pass. Knowing less. Having to watch The Suite Life of Zack & Cody. The Jonas Brothers. All that jelly.

If you could relive one period of your life but with the knowledge you have now, what would it be – and what would you do differently?
I wish I hadn't been such a total fool from about 1984 onwards. I wish I hadn't said almost all the things I've ever said. I wouldn't have worn about 90% of my clothes or sent 50% of my emails. And yesterday I wouldn't have had that sandwich.

Are you looking forward to growing old?

I'm morbidly curious to see if the quality of eldercare will improve in the next half century or so; likewise general attitudes to older people and dementia sufferers. Either there will be a revolution, or there will be an almost unfathomable amount of misery in the world. And I'd quite like to have a perm.

Catherine Shoard is the editor of guardian.co.uk/film

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