In January, the world will be finally treated to an honest to god X-Files comeback. It has been seven years since the last X-Files film, 13 years since the last X-Files episode and about 18 years since X-Files was actually any good. But, anyway, here we are.
The revival will come in the form of a six-part miniseries, and hopes are high. The inclusion of guest stars such as Community’s Joel McHale, Flight of the Conchords’ Rhys Darby and Silicon Valley’s Kumail Nanjiani – and an episode apparently titled Mulder and Scully Meet the Were-Monster – suggest that this comeback is determined to avoid the leaden-footedness that bogged down so many of its latter-day outings.
But now we finally have evidence. A 45-second X-Files trailer has appeared online allowing fans to over-analyse every single frame. So, with that in mind, what can we learn from the new trailer?
1. Dana Scully still has Fox Mulder’s phone number
They’ve been through so much, and seen so many things together, that it would only be natural for Mulder and Scully to want a break from each other. But, no, whatever happened since that last film came out in 2008, Scully still hasn’t deleted Mulder’s number from her phone.
2. Fox Mulder still doesn’t understand phone etiquette
Fox Mulder is still basically the most annoying man on the planet. Who phones somebody up when they’re only 4ft away? Perhaps the season finale will involve Mulder finally learning the secret of how to open doors, or bang on windows, or just say hello at an appropriate volume with his own mouth.
3. The mini-series will be a response to modern-day concerns
We see drones. We see CCTV. The main theme of the miniseries is clearly the danger of state surveillance. I mean, I have a horrible feeling that the moral of the whole thing will be “state surveillance is good, because it helps the guy from Californication catch were-monsters”, but we’ll cross that bridge at the appropriate time.
4. Someone is trying to tell them something
Midway through the trailer, Scully sees a message written in the dirt of a car window. What does “9U 3VIQ TIA0D” mean? Is it a code? A set of coordinates? Or is it just the phrase “Don’t give up” scrawled with someone’s finger and seen in reverse? We may never find out.
5. Stanley Tucci’s in it
Oh, wait, no, that isn’t Stanley Tucci. Sorry.
6. There will be flashbacks
The trailer is littered with shots of sepia-toned soldiers, and men in trilbies and trenchcoats. Did something mysterious happen during the second world war? Is this Roswell? Might it finally be the long-awaited prequel to The Adjustment Bureau? Maybe we’ll never know.
7. A sea monster?
I mean, that looks like a sea monster, or at least the sort of costume that cranky old hermits wore when they wanted to fool Scooby Doo into thinking they were sea monsters. Either way, there’s probably a sea monster.
8. The Cigarette-Smoking man is still there
This is a good thing. I was worried that he’d be vaping by now.
