Sept. 02--Texas Christian has earned the right to be No. 1, but check back after Thursday's opener at Minnesota. Yes, USC is shaky at No. 9, but the pick was made before the Steve Sarkisian mess, so we'll at least wait for the Trojans' opening drive against Arkansas State before demoting them. UCLA is No. 14 with bail set at $100,000. If your favorite team did not make the preseason top 25, rest assured it was No. 26 and just missed the cut. Rankings come with the usual disclaimers/warnings/excuses. Please show care in reaching into the rankings overhead bin at any time this season, because objects tend to shift during flight.
1; Texas Christian; Former Big 12 powers Texas and Oklahoma will send cheerleaders once their seasons are over.
2; Ohio State; Looking to again get early Virginia Tech loss out of its system on way to national title.
3; Alabama; Saban wrote the (authorized) book on playing nonconference "road" games at "neutral" sites.
4; Oregon; Adams is the first Duck to earn starting quarterback job before knowing how to pronounce "Willamette."
5; Michigan State; Strong, silent, Gary Cooper-type program: All kickoffs should be "High Noon."
6; Baylor; Led the month of August in "What-the ...?", "Really?" and "Are you kidding me?"
7; Clemson; Springsteen on program: "Is a dream a lie if it don't come true, or is it something worse?"
8; Auburn; Tigers have to grow up early to avoid ending up very young in the rugged SEC West.
9; USC; Missing AD search called off after Pat Haden emerges from hiding behind his statement.
10; Georgia; "Blocked FG returned for TD" wins fan contest for how team will fall short this season.
11; Arizona State; NCAA looks into tackling drill known around town as the "Graham Cracker."
12; Florida State; Seminoles can't wait to move exciting action from the court judge to the field judge.
13; Arizona; 'Cats could make first Jan. 1 Rose Bowl appearance in year when it matters the least.
14; UCLA; Latest incident leads to team imposing strict 3 a.m. player curfew for game weeks.
15; Georgia Tech; Ten squirrels return tickets after learning season opener is not "Acorn State."
16; Wisconsin; AD Barry Alvarez set to take over if new coach quits after opening Alabama loss.
17; Notre Dame; Irish happy to announce Everett Golson as the starting quarterback ... for Florida State.
18; Oklahoma; "Baker Mayfield" named starting quarterback and a character in Dan Jenkins' next novel.
19; Boise State; "Welcome back Coach Peat (Moss)" is one Friday night banner being considered.
20; Tennessee; Vols open what could be a big bowl season against the perfect team: Bowling Green.
21; Arkansas; Bielema had to change the culture in Fayetteville and also some light bulbs.
22; Missouri; Announcer's pregame word-play prep: "If Gary Pinkel picked a peck of pickled peppers..."
23; Utah; Credential demand so great for Michigan game that one auxiliary press box is located in Park City.
24; Nebraska; Mike Riley begins "Nice-Guy Era" by walking an old Cornhusker across the street.
25; Michigan; Quarterback depth chart looks likes a greasy-diner menu; lots of interesting choices.
