These days, a column about growing up cannot fail to mention the number of traditional adult milestones missed by my generation: home ownership (nope!); stable employment (ahaha); pension (we’ll be dead before then, right?).
But plenty of non-millennial adults have also failed to reach some of these milestones, including my mother. For her, adulthood is more about attaining a state of mind – in her case, through the virtue of “character building”.
Character building: a phrase designed to make a child’s hair stand on end. It usually meant gruelling, humiliating self-flagellation: bleak walks in the rain; auditioning for a school production with no natural talent; having your Auntie B attempt to matchmake you with some poor 17-year-old bloke from Greggs, right in front of you (“I’ll have the cheese and onion slice and a summary of your ambitions over the next five to seven years, please”).
“Ultimately, the key to adulthood is to learn that nothing goes to plan, and to get used to living near-overwhelmed most of the time,” says Mum, shoving a bag of clothes that need recycling into my hands. “I’m toughening you up. You should thank me.”
But I think my mum underestimates the character-building potential of now. Forget an embarrassing audition: now your talentlessness can be immortalised on YouTube, ready for any future employer to check out. And what worse way to date than the slow, crushing futility of Tinder?
There’s a stereotype of my generation as limp snowflakes, but I’ve got a sneaking suspicion that we might just be the strongest one yet.
