We all have an idea of what a dorm/apartment neighbor from hell is. It’s the person who can’t keep their pets in line, cooks food that stinks up the entire hallway, and/or puts their speakers on blast at odd hours.
A woman had to deal with the latter when the person living right next to her had the habit of playing music during the wee hours of the night. When she confronted the inconsiderate neighbor, all she got was a passive-aggressive, “relax, it’s college.”
With no other choice but to deal with the matter, the woman did what many people would: exact petty revenge.
No one likes an inconsiderate neighbor
Image credits: Daniel Martinez (not the actual photo)
This woman unfortunately had to live next to one who blasted music at odd hours
Image credits: Giorgio Trovato (not the actual photo)
Her petty revenge plot worked like a charm
Inherent individualism may cause a person to act selfishly among their neighbors
The author didn’t provide much of a background about her neighbor. A college dorm, for example, may encourage someone to act as if they own the entire place, especially if they are experiencing living on their own for the first time.
“There are inevitably people (or neighbors) who can only see things from their point of view – what is best for themselves,” communication scholar Dr. Beth Ribarsky told Bored Panda.
Holistic therapist and parenting coach Blanka Molnar shared a similar statement, stating that a college dorm dweller may either have a “Life is a party! Carpe Diem!” mindset, or embody attention-seeking behavior in a bad way.
Being clueless about how your behavior affects others is also a factor, according to Santa Clara University professor Thomas Plante. This could very well be the case in this story, given the person’s response after being confronted.
But what exactly drives a person to act in such an unbecoming way? Apart from the low-hanging fruit assumption of a likely narcissistic disorder, Molnar points to a few possible factors: the lack of conscious parenting, attention-seeking behaviors as a trauma response, or simply playing out a “rebel” archetype.
Effective and clear communication is always a good first step
All three experts agree that talking it out with the nuisance neighbor would be the first sensible step. However, Molnar took it a step further: have the person open up about what they could be dealing with.
“You can have a chat with them. Not about why they are blasting music, and definitely not at 2 a.m., but about what’s going on in their life,” she said.
Plante offered a similar suggestion through a friendly comment, a compliment, or even a smile to disarm their defensiveness. He also urges offering polite corrective feedback and requesting a behavior change while ending with a supportive statement.
“When confronting an inconsiderate neighbor, it is important to act in a way that avoids defensiveness on their part,” Plante noted.
Of course, such an approach won’t always work. Acts of kindness aren’t always a practical approach. In such situations, a bit of pettiness may be warranted, according to Molnar.
“If they do not want to open up, live your life a little bit louder too when they would like to sleep,” she said. “It’s a passive-aggressive way, but some people just do not understand the ‘gentle way.’ At least you tried.”
The woman’s petty revenge wasn’t harmful or hurtful, and she effectively conveyed her message. Her satisfaction was understandable.
People in the comments had nothing but praise for the author
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