The showbiz quiz of the year: from Coleen Rooney's sleuthing skills to Moby's tattoos

1. In January, Kris Jenner praised her “brave and vulnerable” daughter Kendall for the “raw” story she was about to reveal to the world. What did it turn out to be?

   1. There were no eligible basketball players available to date her and she would have to wait until the June draft for more

   2. She was struggling with “billionaire envy”, a real condition with physical symptoms that affects some of the lower-tier members of the Kardashian family

   3. Proactiv had sadly decided to pay millions of dollars for her to endorse its acne products

   4. She asked for Coke in a restaurant and they had Pepsi instead, would that be OK? No, that would NOT be OK

2. 

   At the turn of the year Ariana Grande tried to get “seven rings” tattooed on her palm in Japanese kanji. After a mishap, what did the tattoo read instead?

   1. Mouse Mat

   2. BBQ Grill

   3. Chive Sauce

   4. Long Dick Davidson

3. Vagina anarchist Gwyneth Paltrow made headlines in February after countersuing retired optometrist Terry Sanderson for $1 following a 2016 accident involving the pair. But what allegedly happened?

   1. Paltrow accidentally rear-ended Sanderson after zoning out listening to a podcast about meditation

   2. Sanderson put a jade egg inside himself on Paltrow’s advice and had to get it teased out with forceps

   3. Paltrow KO’d Sanderson on a ski slope in Utah

   4. At a health and wellness convention in Garden City, Kansas, Paltrow manipulated Sanderson into a Ganda Bherundasana he couldn’t get out of, then left the session to go and have herbal diarrhoea

4. Complete this April headline: “Creator of ______ _____ fan account goes to prison for not serving in the IDF.”

   1. One Direction

   2. Nicki Minaj

   3. Katy Perry

   4. Taylor Swift

5. 

   In May, the V&A unveiled biodesigner Helene Steiner’s project Selfmade, which cultivated cheese from bacteria taken from skin samples of various celebrities. Which of these did NOT feature in the exhibit?

   1. Brie made from Paul Chuckle

   2. Mozzarella made from Professor Green

   3. Cheddar made from Suggs

   4. Stilton made from Ruby Tandoh

6. 

   It was a busy year for Justin Bieber, who is married now and loves God. But what else has he made headlines for over the past 12 months?

   1. Offered Tom Cruise out for a fight via Twitter

   2. Tried to sell his Beverly Hills mansion via Instagram

   3. Been blamed for the closure of an Icelandic canyon ruined by Bieber-inspired tourism

   4. All of the above

7. 

   The vlogging world was rocked in May when makeup influencer Tati Westbrook (pictured, left) made a 45-minute (!) video ending her friendship with fellow makeup influencer James Charles (right). But what supposedly triggered the feud?

   1. Charles said his invite to the Met Gala was “a step forward” for “influencer representation”

   2. Charles posted a day-to-night lewk that Westbrook deemed “insufficiently fleeky”

   3. Charles endorsed a rival brand of vitamin gummies

   4. Charles dropped one of Westbrook’s eyeshadow palettes on the floor

8. Which musical artist announced a special-edition condiment launch in August this year?

   1. Paris Hilton with That’s Hot sriracha

   2. Ed Sheeran with Tomato Edchup w/ tattoo-print bottle

   3. Tom Jones with Burning Down the House small-batch BBQ sauce

   4. Iggy Azalea with IA mayonnaise

9. 

   Which of these fake Coleen Rooney stories did Rebekah Vardy NOT leak to the Sun?

   1. That the basement of her and Wayne’s Cheshire mansion flooded due to Storm Lorenzo

   2. That she was planning controversial gender-selection treatment in Mexico to ensure her fifth child would be a daughter

   3. That she was contemplating a return to TV

   4. That she and Wayne were planning a 10-year anniversary “Shrek-themed” renewal of their wedding vows

10. 

    Which Spice Girl and which supermarket chain had brief beef this autumn over an advert featuring an archive photo of a performance from the 90s?

    1. Posh, Waitrose

    2. Baby, Sainsbury’s

    3. Ginger, M&S

    4. Scary, Tesco

11. 

    TV-advert-from-the-year-1999 musician Moby got huge tattoos of which words down both arms in November this year?

    1. “NATALIE” “PORTMAN”

    2. “BALD” “JUSTICE”

    3. “ANIMAL” “RIGHTS”

    4. “WHITE” “WHALE”

12. 

    Tired of the iron rule of Michael Bublé, artist-of-the-millennium Robbie Williams launched a double-length Christmas album this December, including a duet with the boxer Tyson Fury. But who was he supposed to perform A Fairytale of New York with, but couldn’t because they were unavailable?

    1. Shane MacGowan

    2. Britney Spears

    3. The sexual chemistry between Camila Cabello and Shawn Mendes

    4. Miss Piggy

Solutions

1:C, 2:B, 3:C, 4:D, 5:A, 6:D, 7:C, 8:B, 9:D, 10:D, 11:C, 12:B

Scores

1. 11 and above.

   I would like you to take a minute to sit and think what actually useful information you pushed out of your head to instead be able to store the wealth of knowledge that has led to this score. Have a word with yourself

2. 9 and above.

   What is wrong with you? Go outside. Text your friends. Live your life

3. 0 and above.

   I think you know an acceptable amount about the world of celebrity

4. 5 and above.

   Genuinely think this score is embarrassing. You should be ashamed to have this knowledge