Bad news for the bare-ankle brigade – the backlash has begun. Royal Ascot is updating its famously strict dress code and warns sockless men they may be turned away. Socks are an afterthought for many, but sporting them, or shedding them altogether, is not as simple as it looks. By following seven simple rules, you can ensure you always have appropriate ankles.
Think about colour
Socks should match the trouser, not the shoe, or you will look shorter. Unless you are into a contrast look, where the sock should be wildly different from both. Generally, the higher your hem, the more you can get away with.
Avoid black
Black socks are a bit “pallbearer on a tea break”. Wear with caution.
Socks and sandals are OK
Pairing socks with pool slides or sandals is perfectly fine now. Ridiculing it carbon-dates you to twice your actual age.
Go long
Socks should adequately cover your ankle when you sit, unless your calves are particularly spectacular and you want the world to know. Short socks risk making you look like serial ankle-exposer Tony Blair kicking back with a light ale after a G8 summit. Nobody wants that.
Think about skin
Sock shirkers have a responsibility to present the best ankle possible. Paler folk should consider their position on fake tan and get busy, to avoid passers-by suffering snow blindness from milky-white mankles. All men should moisturise everywhere, but especially areas on show. The ankle is no exception – glossy ones tease; dry and scaly ones repel.
Always wear socks
If you are going sockless, make sure you … wear socks. Invisible socks – short trainer socks that remain under the shoe-line – look like cheap ballet pumps, yes, but they are essential for comfort while maintaining your look, and may save your insoles from an odorous demise. Heading to a shoes-off household? Take spare “normal” socks in your bag to avoid embarrassment or jokes about how awful your feet are.
Wrap up till Easter
Just as Americans don’t wear white after Labour Day, ankles, too, have ridiculous rules. Cover until Easter weekend, when you can let the flesh free. Anyone still flashing after September will make everyone feel cold just looking at them.
