Four grand doesn’t sound like too much to spend on a wedding – until you find out that the happy couple, Honey and Joey, are dogs (a teacup chihuahua and a Chinese crested cross respectively). So far, entrepreneur-owner Debbie has Honey’s dress, but she still needs to sort the reception, the cake and the transport. “Really understated,” she advises her planner at a wedding fair, although I’m not convinced she means it. She has already divulged that Honey likes diamonds.
The Secret World of Posh Pets (ITV) combines two obsessions of a certain kind of television: money and domestic animals. And match-making too, in Honey and Joey’s case, although I’m not sure they had much say in the matter: the main reason for pairing them up seems to be that they’re the same size. Perhaps if the wedding is a success, Debbie and her partner, Bob, a retired poker player, will pair up more of the 12 dogs they share their Kent mansion with. Ronnie and Reggie, perhaps; I like the idea of gay gangster dobermans.
Meanwhile, in London, a man called Robert has gained a reputation as Britain’s leading dog painter. Is this what he dreamed of at art school? Still, Robert seems to be doing very well. “You can’t put a price on it,” he tells a wealthy lawyer called Rachel, who is commissioning Robert to paint her Norfolk terrier, Tommy. “The fact that I have to put a price on it is annoying.”
Then – annoyingly, especially for Rachel – he puts a price of £5,000 on it, unframed. But Rachel’s not going to let the small matter of a big price-tag get in the way of capturing Tommy on canvas for all eternity. She already has a few of Robert’s portraits and is considering commissioning a series. “I like the sound of that,” says Robert, sticking his thumb up. “Yeah, you start saving.”
Back in Kent, we won’t, sadly, get to see Honey and Joey’s wedding until next week’s episode. Will Debbie go for the miniature horse-drawn carriage or a vintage car? Will the dressmaker be able to alter Honey’s train so her little legs don’t keep getting tangled? Will Honey abandon her betrothed at the altar? Jilted Joey? Talk about a cliffhanger …
