Talk about it… a lot. Your daughter will probably have been taught the basics in school, unless she is experiencing early puberty, but there’s still a sense of mystique or taboo. Don’t whisper, and don’t exclude the men and boys in her life – although she may prefer discretion. Keep reinforcing the fact that it’s normal.
Be aware of the signs. If she can be alert to what her body is telling her, the process may seem less random and troublesome. Physical signs such as cramps, spotting and discharge may be fairly obvious, but mood swings, headaches and generally feeling out of sorts can all be tracked on a calendar or diary. If a monthly pattern emerges, this can be helpful.
Familiarise your daughter with the kit. Get a stash of pads, or show her where you keep your own. Let her try one out, so that she knows how to use it. (Maybe defer tampons or mooncups for now.) If her first period seems imminent, it might be wise for her to carry a pad in her school bag.
Be clear that this is part of the process of growing up. It doesn’t mean she’s a different person, and it certainly doesn’t mean that she’s become a woman overnight. If she still wants hugs, or to sleep with her favourite cuddly toy, that’s fine. And if she’s out of sync with her peers, she needs to know that her body is simply developing at its own pace. Finally, this is her business, not a moment for sharing on social media.
• The Girls’ Guide to Growing up Great, by Sophie Elkan, is published by Bloomsbury
