When you’re a kid, lots of things can feel embarrassing: your parents shouting “love you!” at the school gates, a bad hair day, getting tongue-tied in front of your crush. For many kids, having a poo at school is on that list too. It shouldn’t be a big deal, but 76% of children who took part in a survey for Andrex say they don’t feel comfortable going at school, even when they really need to.
Clare White*, a secondary school teacher from Northern Ireland, says it’s extremely common – to the point where pupils will even fake illness when they’ve been desperate. “Pupils have come to me and said that they haven’t felt well and I’ve sent them home,” she says. “After speaking to parents, you find out they weren’t unwell, they just needed a poo. It’s quite common.” It means kids are missing out on valuable learning time and, in some extreme instances, are having accidents from avoiding going, she says. Even for children who aren’t sent home, the distraction and discomfort that comes from not using the toilet can really affect a child’s ability to focus in the classroom. In Andrex’s survey, 65% of the children who struggle with pooing at school say they find it hard to concentrate when they’re holding a poo.
White thinks a lack of privacy contributes to the feelings of embarrassment and reluctance to use school loos. “The main issue in a lot of schools are the setups of the toilets. The doors don’t reach the ceiling or there are gaps between the floor and the door. At that age you’re so self-conscious.”
Increasing awareness of the issue has led Andrex to launch a campaign to help normalise having a poo at school. Andrex’s mission to encourage us all to “get comfortable” with our bathroom habits has been lauded by public figures including Adrian Chiles and Sharon Osbourne, with their recent TV ad credited with taking a “no fear” approach to schooltime poos. Andrex found that pupils were worried about being ridiculed and were also put off by toilets that weren’t clean or didn’t have loo roll. The way forward, it says, is for parents and teachers to be comfortable talking about poo so that no embarrassment or shame is attached to a very normal bodily function.
Kathryn Carr used to work as a higher level teaching assistant in a secondary school before becoming a primary school teacher in the north-east of England. She’s seen how self-consciousness emerges as children get older. “The little ones don’t have that shame. It’s a normal thing. But embarrassment creeps in about year 4 [age eight to nine] and it totally changes. They don’t use the toilet as much, or it’s just a quick visit, and they’ll try and save a poo until they get home. Girls especially seem to find it harder as they mature faster.”
The transition to secondary school can be an additional flashpoint, as children have to suddenly navigate a busier and more complicated timetable, new break times and new peers. The survey found that 30% of kids won’t eat at school in case it makes them need a poo. “You’ve got new friendships to consider, and you don’t want to be the one that’s known for going for a poo,” adds Carr.
Holding on can lead to uncomfortable issues, though. “I have a few children who suffer with constipation and have to take a laxative to get things going,” says Carr. “We need to normalise talking about poo when they’re younger, then hopefully it doesn’t become such a thing in secondary school.”
Beau-Jessica Roberts works as a lead psychological therapist and clinical supervisor in schools. “Over my 15-year career, I have been in lots of different schools,” she says. “The embarrassment factor, the stigma around poo, is prevalent among secondary learners for sure. I think many see holding it in as the lesser of two evils, but then they end up feeling really uncomfortable. Learners struggle with focus, behaviour is impacted as is their ability to engage with lessons. This has a knock-on effect on their peers and on teachers’ ability to provide lessons effectively.”
Roberts is currently working in a specialist secondary school where the toilet design offers more privacy, with fully enclosed cubicles – in such schools, pupils often have intimate-care plans to meet their individual needs. However, in many mainstream schools the toilets are stalls leading straight out into corridors, rather than being behind another door – making some pupils fearful of using them with so little privacy. “The open-plan design is great in lots of ways, because there’s no smoking or hiding in toilets any more. But it does have an impact in other areas, particularly for learners who might feel embarrassed going to the loo.”
White says that in an ideal world there would be enclosed cubicles for all pupils rather than stalls, but for many schools that’s not an option, especially as they try to strike a balance with mitigating problematic behaviour. Something else that can help children feel more comfortable in using school loos is to make sure they are clean, functional and stocked with toilet roll, as can ensuring they’re easily accessible. Both White and Carr’s schools let pupils go to the toilet during class if they ask, but in some schools, kids are only allowed access at break time.
Roberts says teachers are often juggling multiple issues beyond teaching, which might make it hard for them to spot toilet issues – so there needs to be a wider effort to tackle this problem. Talking about it more is the one thing everyone can do to help break the stigma. “It’s about having more positive discussions around poo and it being very normal,” she says. “Adults having conversations with children about normal bodily functions is really important, so that we take away any shame, because having a poo is not shameful.”
White agrees, and says that it’s important for parents to be involved, too. “There’s only so much that schools can do. It has to come from society. It has to come from people’s homes. We all need to try not to be embarrassed about going for a poo.”
*Clare White is a pseudonym
Andrex is on a mission to normalise the school poo. Find out what it’s doing to end the embarrassment and stigma
