For centuries people have speculated over the Capulets and the Montagues. Murmured about the Bushes and the Clintons. The 1990s had the Spears and Aguileras. The 2000s was the era of the Potters and Malfoys.
In 2015, there are again two competing houses. The Windsor-Middletons and the West-Kardashians. They are vying, unofficially, to be the most famous family in the western world.
The parallels between the future king and queen of England and the couple known as Kimye are innumerous. Kate Middleton has just given birth to her second child. Kim Kardashian has just announced she is pregnant with her second child. Both couples are very famous. Those are two parallels.
Kim and Kanye’s new baby will, like the newly born Princess Charlotte, be born into a life in the limelight. The child’s first moments will be photographed and splashed across entertainment websites around the world. Each baby will be talked about, constantly, on social media. Neither will want for toys or food. They will both be quite small.
So which one would you rather be? Princess Charlotte or Foetus West?
Empire
Her Royal Highness Princess Charlotte of Cambridge is fourth in line to the British throne. Were she ever to become Queen Charlotte, she would be the queen of 16 different countries, most famously the United Kingdom. She would be head of the commonwealth and supreme governor of the Church of England. The current monarch, Queen Elizabeth II, is said to have a personal fortune of $450m, which you fancy Charlotte could get her hands on. Oh, and she will never have to pay rent or buy food or borrow a dollar for a Snickers because all that gets paid for anyway.
Embryo West is heir to an empire. An empire of music. Of fashion. Of reality television shows. Of laughter. The unborn child is unlikely to ever be a king or queen. But he or she will be able to live like one, as their parents are worth over $200m. While North West’s younger sibling is unlikely to ever be Queen of Jamaica, or of Australia, or even of the Solomon Islands, the child will grow up in a $20m home in California – a house that has two pools and an adventure playground.
Family
Both children have large, interesting families. Princess Charlotte’s great-grandmother is Britain’s second-longest-reigning monarch. Her great-grandad, Prince Philip, is a kindly old man with slicked-back hair who has spent much of his time in public life offending people. Then there’s Uncle Harry, who like Princess Charlotte is a “spare heir”, and unlikely to ascend the throne. He likes partying and playing sports and could teach her all about those things. And what about Auntie Pippa? She’s a socialite who used to write a column “inspired by her pursuits” for the Daily Telegraph.
Fertilised egg West has a more varied brood. There’s all the Auntie Ks. There’s zany grandma Kris. There’s now Grandma Caitlyn. They are all television personalities. Caitlyn has been praised for her bravery since transitioning from Bruce, and recently posed for the cover of Vanity Fair magazine. Then there’s Kanye, who brings his friendship with Jay Z and Beyoncé. Which is pretty cool.
Fashion
Kate Middleton has been praised as a style icon by some observers. When she wears something available on the high street there is “an instant sell-out”, according to Marie Claire. But so far the clothes that Prince George has been decked out in have been pretty conservative. In his Christmas 2014 picture he was wearing long socks and a sweater vest and looked like a little Victorian lord. It doesn’t bode well for his baby sister.
North West, meanwhile, is cool. She wears little Doc Martens and earrings and fancy feather coats. She will not wear a diaper without someone having first put shoes on her feet. This bodes well for the younger West, as does the fact that the new baby’s dad is much more ambitious with his fashion than Prince William. West described his approach to clothing as “50% rock’n’roll, 50% hip-hop, 50% genius” in an interview with GQ.
Mode of transport
Princess Charlotte’s dad can fly a helicopter. And has a bullet-proof Bentley. And a big Range Rover. But Kanye West’s penchant for fancy cars means that developing infant West is likely to have a more exciting time getting around. Yeezy has, or has had, Maybachs, a Porsche, a Mercedes Benz, a Lamborghini, and more. And there’s that motorbike that he rode Kim Kardashian around in on that music video.
