We are a group of 10 college friends who have been in touch with one another for the past 35 years. We meet once a year at one of our homes and we look forward to the day with great excitement! It is usually a mid-morning to evening affair with lunch served by the host. It takes weeks of planning, sometimes even months, if one of them has plans to visit India. It has been long since all 10 of us could be present because four live abroad. Still, for those of us who are able to make it, it is a day filled with laughter, teasing, sharing, and caring. We are all in our early 50s, having graduated together from a women’s college. For each other though, we are just 17 years old, the same age we were when we all met. The children of many of us are married, a few in our group are grandmothers as well, but anyone who watches our banter would wonder if we are even grown-ups! We are fortunate to be happy, enthusiastic people with interesting stories to share.
There is usually this one friend Ms. M, who claims to be ‘too busy at work’ and cannot make the time to meet, though she lives in the same city. This time too when she said she might not be able to make it for the get-together, feisty Ms. R would not hear of it. “We meet once a year and you are saying you are going to miss it? What is wrong with you? You have to come and that is an order,” she declared.
What another friend said to this is worth sharing and it sealed the deal. She said, “To fight for your right in friendship is love.”
It is quite okay, especially in friendships as durable as ours, to step up and insist that our friends make the time to meet and spend time together. To reminisce about good times further creates beautiful memories. When we laugh and listen to each other as we share our highs and lows with old friends, we feel valued and cared for. We learn to appreciate each other even more for what we have grown to become. Time just flies by as we discuss our hobbies and share tips on mindfulness, health and many other topics.
By being a little more courageous and proactive in our friendships, we show that we care. We must do what is good for others, not just for ourselves. Simple gestures such as calling friends to wish them on their birthdays or anniversaries rather than sending them emojis on WhatsApp is a wonderful way of showing love. It brings a lot of positivity to both giver and receiver.
Friendship also means that we do not gossip about each other ever; we respect each other’s belief systems and sensitivities. We are empathetic and understanding if anyone has any worries. We are allowed to use humour to brush off anything that is being taken more seriously than it should be.
We need to invest time and effort to enjoy our friendships and keep them lively and strong. The look in a friend’s eyes and the energy (or lack of it) in their voice conveys more than words ever would if we actually look into their eyes and listen to their voices. Sadly, these days friendships are mostly over phone screens.
Humans only need food, water, air and shelter to survive. But as C.S. Lewis said, “Friendship has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”
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