A power of attorney (POA) is a powerful legal tool. It lets someone act for you if you can’t make decisions yourself. But this simple document can cause big problems. Families have gone to court over how a POA was used. If you’re thinking about setting up a power of attorney, or if you’re named in one, you need to know what can go wrong. Here’s why the wrong move with a POA can spark a family lawsuit—and what you can do to avoid it.
1. Naming One Child as Power of Attorney
Choosing one child as your power of attorney might seem easy. But it can create tension. Siblings may feel left out or suspicious. They might think the chosen child will act in their own interest, not yours. This can lead to arguments, broken relationships, and even lawsuits. If you have more than one child, talk openly about your choice. Explain your reasons. Consider naming co-agents, but only if they can work together. Otherwise, you risk turning a family disagreement into a legal battle.
2. Not Defining the Scope of Power
A power of attorney can be broad or limited. If you don’t spell out what your agent can and can’t do, you leave room for trouble. For example, can your agent sell your house? Can they give gifts to themselves or others? If the document is vague, family members may argue about what’s allowed. This confusion can end up in court. Be clear in your POA. List what your agent can do. Limit their power if you want. The more specific you are, the less likely your family will fight over your wishes.
3. Failing to Communicate With Family
Keeping your power of attorney a secret is risky. If your family doesn’t know who your agent is, or what they can do, they may be shocked when decisions are made. This surprise can lead to mistrust. People may think your agent is hiding something or acting against your wishes. To avoid this, talk to your family. Let them know who your agent is and why you chose them. Share the details of your POA. Open communication can prevent misunderstandings and lawsuits.
4. Allowing Self-Dealing
Self-dealing happens when your agent uses your money or property for their own benefit. This is a common reason families end up in court. For example, your agent might transfer your assets to themselves or pay their own bills with your money. Even if you trust your agent, other family members may not. They might accuse your agent of stealing or abusing their power. To prevent this, include clear rules in your POA. Ban self-dealing unless you want to allow it. Require your agent to keep records and share them with others. This protects you and your family.
5. Not Requiring Regular Accounting
If your agent doesn’t have to report what they’re doing, it’s easy for things to go wrong. Family members may worry about missing money or bad decisions. This lack of transparency can lead to lawsuits. You can avoid this by requiring your agent to provide regular accountings. They should keep receipts, bank statements, and a list of transactions. Share these with other family members or a trusted third party. This simple step can stop problems before they start.
6. Ignoring State Laws
Every state has its own rules for powers of attorney. If your POA doesn’t follow the law, it might not be valid. Or, it might give your agent more power than you intended. Family members can challenge a POA in court if they think it’s not legal. Make sure your document meets your state’s requirements. Use a lawyer who knows the rules in your area. You can check your state’s laws here. Don’t risk a lawsuit because of a technical mistake.
7. Not Updating the Power of Attorney
Life changes. Your relationships, health, and finances can shift over time. If your POA is old, it might not reflect your current wishes. Maybe you’ve had a falling out with your agent. Or maybe your needs have changed. An outdated POA can cause confusion and conflict. Family members may argue about what you really wanted. Review your POA every few years. Update it if anything changes. This keeps your wishes clear and reduces the risk of a lawsuit.
8. Overlooking the Importance of Choosing the Right Agent
The person you name as your agent should be trustworthy, organized, and able to handle stress. If you pick someone who isn’t up to the job, problems can follow. Your agent might make mistakes, act out of self-interest, or fail to communicate. This can spark suspicion and legal action from other family members. Take your time when choosing an agent. Talk to them about your expectations. Make sure they understand the responsibility. For more on choosing the right agent, see this resource.
9. Failing to Anticipate Family Dynamics
Every family has its own history and issues. If there’s already tension, a power of attorney can make things worse. Old grudges, jealousy, or money worries can turn a simple decision into a lawsuit. Think about your family’s dynamics before you set up a POA. If you sense trouble, consider using a neutral third party as your agent. Or, set up checks and balances in your document. Planning ahead can save your family from a painful court battle.
10. Not Seeking Professional Help
Trying to write your own power of attorney can be risky. Mistakes or unclear language can lead to lawsuits. A lawyer can help you create a POA that fits your needs and protects your family. They can spot issues you might miss and make sure your document is legal. The cost of professional help is small compared to the cost of a family lawsuit.
Protecting Your Family From a Power of Attorney Lawsuit
A power of attorney is a useful tool, but it can also be a source of conflict. The wrong move can spark a family lawsuit that drains money and damages relationships. By choosing the right agent, setting clear rules, and keeping your family informed, you can protect your wishes and your loved ones. Take the time to get your POA right. Your family will thank you.
Have you seen a power of attorney cause problems in your family? Share your story or thoughts in the comments.
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