In 21st-century Britain, we should be able to hope for more than mere subsistence. But life for me and many others in my community has become geared solely around survival.
Morale is low. One of the projects I attend provides hot meals and surplus food for a small donation – if you have it. After dinner, they bring a table full of donated food. It’s always been a bit of a rush to get your hands on food once the table is open.
That is understandable. I think many people are in survival mode; they’re scared and desperate to ensure they have enough to get by. These are the basics, the essentials of life. It’s sad to watch.
At another provider of charitable food support in my area, there’s less food available than at the beginning of this cost of living crisis. I think what there is has to go further than it did before as demand grows from more people.
The third sector and charities, which originally stepped in to fill gaps in the benefits system, now make up most of the support given to people. The responsibility of catering to sick people, unemployed people, pensioners and low-income workers increasingly falls on to their shoulders. But their shoulders won’t be able to bear this burden for much longer if things continue to regress.
I am, on the whole, happy to be back at work, even though my health conditions can make it difficult at times. Still, at the back of my mind is a lingering fear that if my health deteriorates to the point where I can’t work, I’ll be back in abject poverty.
Access to Work, a government scheme, helped me return to work. I am grateful for that and do not begrudge paying my tax, but sometimes I wish it wasn’t going to a government capable of such a callous disregard for the country’s poor people. Last year, when the home secretary, Suella Braverman, was discussing incentivising people back into work, she said: “We’ve got lots of carrots to get people into work, but we’ve got to add … a bit more stick.” Braverman’s words come from either a place of ignorance about the lives of those at the thin end of the wedge of modern Britain, or a total lack of compassion.
I had an unpleasant experience a few weeks ago in my local supermarket, which shows this heartlessness is carrying over into everyday life. As I went to leave the store after using the self-service checkouts, three staff members and a security guard blocked my exit. They demanded my receipt and searched my bag; the security guard said they’d seen me on CCTV putting meat inside it.
I hadn’t taken anything, and the whole experience was humiliating. The store refused my request to access its policies and procedures regarding bag searches. I expect it doesn’t have one, and I firmly believe that others will experience the same treatment. I accepted a modest amount of compensation in the form of a voucher after two weeks of doggedly pursuing my request for more information. But I realised that taking it further would be at the expense of my mental health. I now feel uncomfortable going into shops, and this particular supermarket was one that I shopped at regularly.
As one of the many people who experience anxiety and poor mental health brought about by the trials and tribulations of modern life in our wealthy country, I urge people not to accept that this is “just the way it is”. There is clearly something wrong if doing something as simple as your weekly shopping involves such distrust.
I don’t want to be part of a society where shop staff behave like law enforcement, where homelessness, hardship and poverty are accepted, and a small percentage of individuals hold the bulk of the country’s wealth and assets. Things need to change. The current model doesn’t work, nor is it morally and ethically justifiable.
As told to Daniel Lavelle. James is in his 50s and lives in London. Names have been changed
The Trussell Trust is an anti-poverty charity that campaigns to end the need for food banks. Show your support at: trusselltrust.org/guardian
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