Waking up late for work has four stages. Firstly, with several hours of sleep still sloshing around your brain, there’s the bleary realisation that the numbers on the clock radio are being rudely uncooperative. The second stage comes as you snap out of that fuggy stupor and hop around the bedroom throwing clothes on to various limbs. The third stage comes as clarity finally reintroduces itself to your consciousness, just in time to avoid simultaneous teeth-brushing and toast-eating, before concluding with stage four: concocting plausible excuses for arriving 27 minutes late.
The star of the new advert for commuter fuel Weetabix on the Go – marketed as “drinkable Weetabix” – takes a more measured approach. Rising at 08:59 in full business attire and leaving the house via auto-defenestration, he saunters across city rooftops with the ease of a cloud with a PhD in parkour. Quaffing viscous breakfast as he goes, our hero plops into his swivel chair just as the boardroom clock strikes 9am.
While its building-skipping properties might be overstated here, you can almost understand the market for bottled Weetabix. For the harried commuter, wolfing down a bowl of wholegrain bricks before departing can precede anxious fretting over the milky residue growing dolomite-strong in that unsoaked breakfast bowl.
In the real world, though, even serial cereal lovers will surely gag at the concept of drinkable Weetabix, a concept that ranks somewhere between fizzy Marmite and corned beef slurry on the scale of liquefied desirability. Frankly, we’d rather take a telling-off from our boss.
