As part of its new #makeitright campaign Three has created its own sinister purple muppet, Jackson. They’ve also soundtracked his adventures to East 17’s It’s Alright – a song we’re assuming Tony Mortimer wrote to soothe Brian Harvey through a particularly nasty comedown. So what is Three promising to make right? Is it bringing back 2-4-1 cinema tickets on Wednesdays? Sorting out dodgy phone signals in rural areas? Nope.
According to the new advert, a creepy purple nightmare will sing early-90s pop to you as you head to an early grave. Has your golf buggy AND golf partner burst into flames right in front of you? Jackson’s there, watching. A massive snake about to devour you in your kitchen? Jackson’s hiding, unhygienically, in your fridge. Is your car about to fall over a cliff? There’s Jackson, dancing on the bonnet, trying to plunge you into a ravine. After a minute or so of these horrible death scenes, the subtext suddenly becomes clear: Jackson’s idea of making things right seems to be ensuring everyone who is on a rival network gets killed in a gory “accident” – tragic incidents which no one can pin on him for murder, but are not entirely coincidental, either.
Is this whole campaign less of an attempt to make things right, more a threat to non-Three users? The most frightening moment sees Jackson simply standing by while a man sinks helplessly into quicksand. Save him? No. Jackson’s got a party to go to. He just watched a man slowly die, right in front of his cold, dead eyes, and then he went to a rave. Should we… should we all sign up to Three now?
