Ah, the good old Post Office: your one-stop shop for yellowing stationery, chewy sweets, plastic toy guns and CRB checks. But that’s not all, as Robert Webb – trussed up for this commercial like a complete Wonka – will tell you. No, he yells, parachuting into the bed of a startled old couple or popping up with a cake stand on his head to harangue a pair of twee hipster lovebirds – the Post Office do savings accounts and credit cards and mortgages, too.
With this surprisingly brash call to arms, the Post Office is trying to convince you that it can do everything that a regular bank can do. Before long, it’ll be opening a tax-dodging Swiss branch or contributing to the global economic collapse with its out-of-control lending. “We even have hundreds of dedicated financial specialists to help you!” barks Webb. Which is a relief, because I didn’t fancy my chances of getting a mortgage from the sullen bloke behind the glass who eyes me with weary disdain every time I want to do anything more complex than buy a book of stamps. What’s more, blares Webb with increasing ironic mania, you can do all of these clever banky things online! That’s right, you don’t even need to queue up for hours behind someone with personal hygiene issues who’s eBaying out their entire Star Wars figurine collection piece by piece. That is, until you have to return your mortgage documents by recorded delivery, at which point you’re back in line with Mr Stinky Parcels. At least you can stock up on Werther’s Originals and Tipp-Ex while you’re there.
