We all remember the progressivist tendency to replace clapping with jazzhands at meetings, lest the former spook the easily-triggered. Now, a new range of caring-sharing workplace hand signals have come straight from the government’s digital service.
Dan Carley, from the government’s “Platform as a Service” team (something to do with the cloud, apparently), decided his team meetings were going on too long, so he devised a series of six hand gestures to empower the powerless and hack down the yakkers.
The gestures can be made by anyone at any time and consist of agreement (represented by two palms up); disagreement (the backs of the hands held up); wanting to talk (one palm up); direct response (gun fingers); clarification (a one-handed C); and point of order (a two-handed diamond, similar to the one Kanye West fans may have “put in the sky”).
Months on, Carley says the system is working well. “In the first week, people felt very self-conscious,” he says. “[However,] the flow of conversation is improved. Agreement or disagreement can be demonstrated without speaking. Whoever is talking is free to finish without interruption and gain feedback as they talk.”
Given how well it’s going, perhaps Carley could be persuaded to upgrade his repertoire to include a few more modern meeting necessities, such as:
We Tried This Before You Arrived and it Didn’t Work Then. Right index finger arcs right to left.
Reiterative Point About to Be Made Simply to Feel Like a Contributor. Both palms spun round each other.
This Bit Will Never Have Anything to Do With Me So I’m Tuning Out. First two fingers wiggled pointing towards eyes.
That’s Exactly What Someone Who Has Never Had to Do it Would Say. Both hands in gun fingers at speaker.
Ignore Him, He Never Actually Does Anything He Says. Finger spun against side of head.
My Brain Is Full. Two hands placed palm-down over eyes.
