Pay attention, thrill-seekers: Lost in Showbiz has a new favourite PR.
I know - Like THAT'S a crowded field. But stay with this. He is Asda spokeslunatic Ed Watson, and his work features in today's Sun, where it is saddening to learn that Coleen McLoughlin's tenure as the face of the supermarket's fashion line has come to an end.
Still, get over it, because it's time to talk replacements.
"Among the names being considered," Ed explains, "is Carla Bruni. We feel she would fit in very well with the George look."
Well of course she would, Ed. Then again, so would Queen Noor of Jordan. In fact, I've never understood why you haven't put in an offer for Aung San Suu Kyi. Still, on the off-chance that the First Lady of France decides against patting her jeans pocket with a look that says "you'll not believe how much I've just saved on this two-pack of vest tops", you are hereby wished the best of luck in your search - and we look forward to seeing much more of this strong work in the future.
