The problem with companies using real people to advertise their products is that real people are awful. They are truly the worst of us, all creased and unfiltered and guffawing. And, in the case of the new Burger King advert, ready and willing to get someone sacked.
There are three of them onscreen. Three adults in cardboard crowns. But it’s the middle one we need to watch. Lord Banter, we’ll call him. He can’t believe that his food was so cheap. “Bonkers,” he says. “Someone’s getting fired.” He calls out to the staff behind him. “Dave! You’re fired!” he yells, so full of self-satisfaction that it almost seeps from him.
Dave looks around from the drinks station, while Lord Banter’s friends chide him for being such an unrepentant berk. But he isn’t done yet. “Dave!” he bellows once more, before chortling to himself. He’s a real person, but he looks as if he’s been committee-designed by Jacamo. Burger King’s Lord Banter is the worst person you’ll see on television in 2016.
But Dave? Dave is all of us. Dave deserves our custom. Only we can rescue him from Lord Banter and his godawful comedy of cruelty and pig noises. Let’s save Dave.
