Controlling the minds of your neighbours is a handy life skill, and Air Wick Summer Delights scents are here to make all your darkest, most manipulative dreams come true. “This is Anna and David getting to know their neighbours,” announces the voiceover woman as a glossy young advert couple meet their near-doppelgangers from across the hall. Then comes the witchcraft. A whoosh of vanilla makes Anna feel “calm”, even though her eyes are darting around her residential rivals’ all-white flat to check it’s not posher than hers.
When the plug-in pumps out the scent of melon she’s slipping further under their control. “Tell that funny story from last summer,” the plug-in orders her. And as everyone knows, any story conjured up by the smell of a melon is surely a hilarious one. White flowers make Anna realise that she likes her neighbours, though that might also have something to do with the large tumbler of prosecco the host’s thrusting upon her.
Anna’s been dodging this creepy couple’s invitation ever since they moved in, but now she’s here, so drinking heavily is the only way to go. “This is Anna,” chirps the voiceover, “on a roll.” Congrats, freaky neighbours, you’ve won Anna over with your plug-in, but why stop there? Pump out the scent of tequila and she’ll be dancing on your granite worktop.
A whiff of pampas grass and she’ll pluck up the courage to suggest an inter-flat gangbang. Even better, when you realise you can’t take any more of her funny stories just give her a noseful of abandoned pavement kebab and she’ll turn to David and remind him that “it’s a school night, babe” and they really must be going.