GUNNER ENJOY THURSDAY NIGHTS
Forced to muddy their spats in the puddles of Euro Vase after 17 consecutive seasons in Big Cup, Arsenal fans must have approached this morning’s group stage draw with a mixture of dread and a little bit of anticipation. There’ll have been a soupçon of embarrassment too, what with club officials having had their noses pressed up against the glass during yesterday’s main draw in which their counterparts from European super-powers such as Maribor, Qarabag and the Queen’s Celtic were actually allowed in to find out who they’d be playing in Europe’s elite and most prestigious competition. Seventeen years ago, Arsenal dropped out of Big Cup group stages, getting into Euro Vase through the back door and making it all the way to the final in which they were beaten by Galatasaray. This year they didn’t even make it to Big Cup and with their hopes of a top four Premier League finish already in tatters following last weekend’s defeat to Stoke, will have to do things the very hard way if they are to retake their place at the mid-to-lower end of Europe’s top feeding trough.
While there’s a long way to go, advancing from the group stages should be easy enough in so far as anything Arsenal ever do is straightforward. At this afternoon’s tombola-spin in Monaco, they were drawn with Cologne, Belarusian tractor factory BATE Borisov and Countdown conundrum Crvena Zvezda, a Serbian outfit better known to you and the Fiver as Red Star Belgrade. Assuming they manage to navigate the relatively tranquil waters of group stage qualification, there may be more fearsome monsters ahead: Milan, Marseille, Villarreal and Zenit St Petersburg are among the bigger sides already in the competition, while the likes of Chelsea, Manchester United, Liverpool, Manchester City, the Queen’s Celtic, Maribor and Qarabag could very well join them in the new year.
Having given his weekly pre-match address to the press at 8.45am yesterday morning, Arsène Wenger has yet to comment on his side’s Europa League draw but he has already announced his intention to “rest and rotate” his players on Thursday nights in order to prioritise winning a Premier League that already looks to be getting away from him. Meanwhile at Everton, whose seventh place league finish already looks assured, supporters can look forward to trips to Lyon, Atalanta and Apollon Limassol. “I think [the games] are in a good part of Europe and easy to travel,” said their manager Ronald Koeman, who seemed very enthused. “It’s tough but tough for everyone,” he added, while somewhere in north London a certain Monsieur Wenger almost certainly thinks this Euro-indignity is way, way tougher for him.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“Of course it’s a must-win” – Palace manager Frank de Boer goes a little OTT on his side’s late August meeting with the Swans this weekend.
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FIVER LETTERS
“OK, I’ll take your not-so-subtle bait: Porto appears twice in your predicted Big Cup draw; Tottenham not at all. I understand that the mysterious algorithm that produces your daily email has calculated that it’s the turn of Spurs fans to be trolled. But why Porto? Do you have a reader who’s a supporter?” – Peter Berlin (and 1,067 other eagle-eyed readers giving the Fiver credit for far more cunning/nous/attention-to-detail than it actually possesses).
“Regarding the Washington Post article concerning President Trump’s coincidental record of 1,057 lies and untruths [Thursday’s Fiver letters], Mike Dunton’s Prizeless Letter o’the Day likely became outdated with the orange alien’s morning tweets” – JJ Zucal.
“Re Man Utd’s claim it’s time for Zlatan to “finish what he started”. Would that be a Europa League campaign and ambling unchallenged in either direction into sixth place? We can only hope …” – Tim Woods .
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And if you’ve nothing better to do you can also tweet The Fiver. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is Tim Woods.
BITS & BOBS
Barcelona have emptied a dumper truck of euros into the Borussia Dortmund coffers for the services of Ousmane Dembélé.
Jürgen Klopp has admitted that although Liverpool have not completed as many signings as they would like this summer, Liverpool are certainly not to blame.
Gareth Southgate says the door is always open for Wayne Rooney. “Have I seen players change their minds?” he chin-scratched. “Yes, I think we all have.”
David Villa has been banging them in for New York City and now he’s back in the Spain squad. “He’ll give us extra mobility up front and above all he’ll contribute his enthusiasm,” cheered head coach Julen Lopetegui.
West Brom have snapped up Scottish whiz Oliver Burke from RB Leipzig for £15m, prompting official WBA to chuckle on Twitter: “Red Bull gives you wingers.”
Arsène Wenger has quietly placed potential’s Jack Wilshere on the front step in the hope someone might come along and help themselves.
Slaven Bilic has managed to sound incredibly unconfident of signing Sporting’s William Carvalho by whimpering that he is “quite confident” of signing Sporting’s William Carvalho.
And savvy Barcelona have negotiated a £138m fee for Dortmund’s Ousmane Dembélé, a player the German club bought for £13m last summer.
STILL WANT MORE?
Arsenal still have a gaping Patrick Vieira-shaped hole in midfield, writes Jonathan Wilson.
Saido Berahino back at West Brom, Tottenham’s ire at Wembley talk, and eight more things to look out for this weekend.
World Cup winner and Bournemouth midfielder Lewis Cook tells Ben Fisher about swapping Saxton for the south coast, spag bol and Milo the cavapoo.
Champions League group-by-group analysis? Right here, courtesy of Marcus Christenson.
And get your hand-picked, artisan transfer rumours here.
