Obviously, allowances must be made for Stella at the moment as now her mind is rightly occupied with ways of finding underground hitmen in London to take out Little Miss Pegleg (I quote. Possibly) before the witch gets her mitts on her late life crisis ridden father's bank account but, Stella, come ON.
Certain members of LiS have defended your fashions in the past from the slings and arrows of outrageous sneerers. Even your friendship with Gwyneth Paltrow, and her insistence on referring to you as "Stelly" has not dented our faith in you (much.) But this, this is something else.
You know, I was just thinking the other morn how grievously lacking my wardrobe was these days in pieces that harked back to the glory days of Kensington Market. The heart, the multicoloured wings, the landscape apparently ripped from the cover of a Pink Floyd album - all it's lacking now is some man with a spike in his nose flogging it for £30. Oh wait! We probably got one of those, too, seeing as it's being sold at Glastonbury, a fact Stelly feels fit to emphasise by branding her name (not Oxfam's, funnily enough, which is the charity she is allegedly doing this for) above that of the festival, thereby proving how down with the kids she is. Best of all is the description of it as a "wifebeater" - don't hurt the animals, Stelly, but keep dat woman in her place, girlfriend
Or perhaps there's a different explanation. Seeing as Heather has taken to wearing her stepdaughter's fashions at any opportunity, either because she is so cheap she refuses to wear anything but old freebies, or because she knows this is far more damaging to Stella's public image than those stupid mockney t-shirts the young lady designed years ago, perhaps this is all part of a cunning plan. Perhaps Stella is now making clothes so deliberately and inextricably hideous that when her ex-stepmom wears them the judge will throw any requests for cash out of court because the woman is clearly too mentally unfit to be given any money. Maybe. Stella, we're clinging on here.
