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The Guardian - UK
Sport
Scott Murray

The Masters 2016: first round - as it happened

Genius at work.
Genius at work. Photograph: Andrew Redington/Getty Images

Nope. Rory can’t make the long par saver. He leaves yet another poor putt short, then taps in for bogey. That’s a soul-sapping finish, bogey-par-bogey, but on the flip side it’s a two-under 70, and it’s not as though he’s out of touch with the leader Jordan Spieth. Once again, though, and with apologies to Danny Lee and Shane Lowry, it’s all about the amazing young Texan. He leads the Tournament he won last year, having shot a faultless 66. Tomorrow promises to be fascinating, a pre-Moving Day moving day, because nobody can afford to drag their heels with Spieth in this mood. Hope to see you at 2pm for another round of Masters brilliance. In the meantime, sweet dreams!

-6: Spieth
-4: Lee, Lowry
-3: Casey, Rose, Poulter, Kjeldsen, Garcia
-2: Horschel, Piercy, Willett, McIlroy
-1: Streelman, Hoffman, Westwood, Grillo, Matsuyama, Fitzpatrick, Snedeker, Walker

Rory McIlroy
Rory McIlroy ended the day disappointingly. Photograph: Nicholas Kamm/AFP/Getty Images

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This is a poor finish from McIlroy. His ball’s plugged in the sand, and he can only blast it 30 feet past the hole. A bogey looks most likely now. Anything worse will be a complete disaster, given the situation he was in coming off the 15th green.

McIlroy is in prime position back down the fairway. And he’s dumped his 9-iron into the bunker to the right of the green! That’s an appalling error. Rory’s stumbling home here. He’ll be desperate to get up and down from the sand, because this round is threatening to turn from Very Good into Not Bad. The next few minutes could shape his entire Masters.

Shane Lowry gently lands his second into 18 pin high, 15 feet away. He’ll have that for a 67. It’s a snaking line, and he reads it almost perfectly. But after sashaying right and then left, the ball doesn’t drop. He taps in for par. Back in a very average 37, but out in a world-class 31, and he’s scribbling his name on a 68 tonight. He’ll be joint second tonight, his best-ever position in a major. (He was tied third at one point during the 2014 Open. McIlroy won that one. An omen?)

Shane Lowry
Shane Lowry finished the day in joint second. Photograph: Harry How/Getty Images

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Sergio lags his putt at 18 to a couple of inches, and taps in for his par. He’s back in 32 strokes, and that’s a lovely opening round of 69. If he can keep that up ... well, y’know. But come on Sergio! Sadder news of Danny Willett, who chips crisply to three feet, then yips the par putt. A miserable end to an otherwise excellent round. Bogey, and he signs for a 70. Meanwhile McIlroy misreads his putt on 17 woefully. It is - there is no other way of putting this - a piss-poor effort. It breaks off to the right with a massive kink, and he’s staring at a six footer, and a second three-putt in a row. But he knocks in the saver with ice-cool nerves. That’s as good a putt as the previous one was awful. He stays at -3.

Shane Lowry’s second to 17 is excellent, five feet from the hole. But he nudges an apologetic birdie effort to the right and he’ll stay put at -4. Hey, it could be worse, huh. Back down the hole, McIlroy crashes a big drive down the middle, then finds the front of the green. And up on 18, Sergio finds a route out of the trees, and lands his ball on the back fringe. He’ll be a lot happier than his partner Willett, whose ball took a hard bounce from the centre of the fairway and escaped down the back.

Sergio on the 18th tee. He’s overcooked a cut, and the ball’s sailing into the trees down the right. Willett has spilt the fairway, he’s in prime position. Up on the green, Soren Kjeldsen is one turn away from rolling in a 20-footer for birdie from the back of the green. He’ll settle for his par, and will sign for an excellent 69. Jimmy Walker meanwhile takes two putts from the fringe at the back. A par for him, too, and he’s signing for 71.

McIlroy, faced with that big left-to-right breaker, guides his ball to five feet. From the position he’d left himself, that’s some putt. He lets the par putt slide by the hole, though, and he’s back to -3. Sergio chunks his chip on 17 a little, but knocks in the par saver to stay at -3. Willett bumps an incredibly difficult chip up the bank at 17 to four feet. That’s a brilliant outcome from where he was, and he’s -3 too. And up on 18, Scott Piercy pars to sign for a 70. Graeme McDowell bogeys and that’ll be a level-par 72.

McIlroy threatens to jigger all that momentum by sending his tee shot at 16 to the back left of the green. He’ll have a huge left-to-right breaker, up and back down the green. He’ll do very, very well to get down in two from there. Meanwhile on 17, Sergio manages to whip his second near the green, just off the front right. He’ll have a fighting chance of getting up and down from there. Willett might have more bother, having sent his second down the huge bank to the right of the green. The next few minutes could be quite interesting. And slightly depressing. God speed, everyone!

Shane Lowry strokes a delightful tee shot at 16 straight at the flag, leaving himself an eight-footer uphill. But he misreads it, the ball staying out to the left from the moment it left the flat stick. Bogey for Jimmy Walker on 17, as he pushes a rather uncertain par putt wide right from eight feet. He’s back to -1. But what a birdie for McIlroy at 15! He races his long eagle putt 12 feet past the hole, but makes the one coming back! He’s just a couple off the lead now! And how about this from Soren Kjeldsen? He’s birdied 12, 14, 16 and now, after whistling an approach to six feet, 17. He’s -3!

-6: Spieth (F)
-4: Lee (F), Lowry (16), McIlroy (15)
-3: Casey (F), Rose (F), Poulter (F), Kjeldsen (17), Willett (16), Garcia (16)

Sergio, then. Here’s a clip sent in by our friend Niall Mullen.

He’s just flayed his drive at 17 towards the trees down the right. Of course he has.

A short birdie effort on 15 is missed by Lowry. Everything was dropping earlier. He stays at -4. Coming behind, Rory McIlroy, whose approach only just gets over the water. He was peering after that one in the pensive style. But he’ll have two putts from Sergio Country for a birdie of his own, one that’d take him to within a couple of shots of the leader Spieth.

Four birdies in a row for Sergio! I should write him off more often. A brilliant tee shot to six feet, and a gentle poke down the slope. Straight into the cup. He’s -3! As is Danny Willett, who followed Sergio with an even better tee shot, five feet away and uphill. He tucks that one away, and these two are going along very nicely. On the flip side, Jason Day very nearly drains a monster on 18, but has to settle for par. He’s finished 6-6-5-4, and that’s a level-par 72. He’s not out of it, but he’ll need to regroup and forget that mini-meltdown quickly.

The 1985 and 1993 champion Bernhard Langer rakes in a long putt on 18 for par. He leans back a little in celebration, a pose not unlike his painful recoil of Kiawah Island at the end of the 1991 Ryder Cup. But these are happier circumstances. He’s signing for a level-par 72, a fine effort from the veteran and legend. Walker meanwhile has to settle for par on 16, having failed to hit his putt. He stays at -2. That wasn’t happening yesterday.

McIlroy’s birdie putt shaves the left of the hole, moving to that side with the very last turn of the ball. He couldn’t have been any closer. Very unfortunate. He taps home for par and stays at -3. Willett’s effort at 15 slips by the left. He stays at -2, and he’s joined there by his playing partner Sergio, who leaves his first, long putt six feet short but prods in the birdie effort. But Day bogeys 17, a result of that errant tee shot. That’s five shots gone in three holes. He was competing for the lead half an hour ago! Now he’s back in the pack at level par. His tee shot at 18 isn’t too fancy, either, toying with Lyle’s Bunker but staying in the second cut.

Sergio continues to impress. He lashes his second at 15 into the heart of the green, and he’ll have two putts from 40 feet to move to -2. Let’s count no chickens. His playing partner Danny Willett is half the distance inside, though he’s taken a shot more. Meanwhile back on 14, McIlroy has parlayed his good drive into a pin-high birdie chance from 12 feet. And up on 16, Jimmy Walker knocks his tee shot to eight feet. More on these conversion chances anon.

Sergio Garcia
Easy does it Sergio. Photograph: Jim Watson/AFP/Getty Images

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Bubba followed up his double at 16 with another bogey at 17, but he’s birdied the last, rolling in a 15-footer from the back of the green. He’s signing for a 75, +3. Out in 34, back in 41! His partner Poulter, down the back, deliberately bumps his chip into the bank to take the pace out of the shot, and rolls his ball gently to three feet. He taps in, a wonderful par save, and he’s round in 69, -3. Meanwhile Angel Cabrera, the 2009 champion, rakes in a monster on 14 to move to -1.

Trouble for Poulter at the last. He’s in good position in the middle of the fairway, but hits a hot one into the green. Even so, his ball takes a ludicrously hard kick off to the back-right, nestling in among the legs of the patrons. Day meantime continues to struggle, sending his tee shot at 17 into the trees down the right. Back on 15, Walker eases his third to 12 feet, but he can’t roll in the birdie effort and he’ll stay at -2.

Rory eagles 13! He rolls in his 12-footer to move to -3, never missing, and suddenly he’s right in the mix! He blooters his drive at 14 straight down the middle, and long too. He’s high on life. Meanwhile Danny Lee ends the day par-par, and signs for a magnificent 68. Time for a quick look at the all-new leader board, which no longer features Jason Day.

Rory McIlroy
Rory is on the march! Photograph: David Cannon/Getty Images

-6: Spieth (F)
-4: Lee (F), Lowry (13)
-3: Casey (F), Rose (F), Poulter (17), McIlroy (13)

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Rory splits the fairway at 13, then sends his second to 12 feet. He’ll have a very good look at eagle. Scott Piercy, who started the back nine in awful fashion with bogey at 10 and a double at 11, has bounced back well: he’s birdied 13 and now 15, and is -2. Danny Willett, from a difficult position at the front of 14, gets up and down with his putter, sinking a 15-footer to save par and remain at -2. And Day makes an awful bollocks of 16. Having found the water, he sends a lame sand wedge high to the right, and three putts later he’s scribbling a second six in a row on his card. That’s his first-ever triple-bogey at the Masters, and he’s just shed four shots in ten minutes or so. He’s back to -1, and just needs to limit the damage now, getting home without further hassle.

Jason Day’s round threatens to unravel completely! After that unforced three-putt error on 15, he’s just dunked his tee shot at 16 into the drink! He stands on the tee looking sheepish, as well he might. This is a very poor show from the world number one. Meanwhile a very impressive par for Danny Willett on 13. On the face of it, not the greatest score on one of Augusta National’s easier holes, but he did hook his drive into the trees. And it would appear I spoke too soon regarding Sergio! A birdie on 13, and now he’s just stuck his wedge into 14 to 18 inches. A glorious shot! One of the best of the day. Even Ernie could tap that one in, if you gave him a couple of goes. Sergio should do it in one, and he’ll rise to -1. This is his 67th consecutive start in a major. He’s seven ahead of Adam Scott, and 19 ahead of Zach Johnson. Both of those lads, of course, have managed to win one. Could this be Sergio’s turn? Well, almost certainly no, obviously, but a man can dream. C’mon Sergio! Troon, maybe? Please.

A three-putt six for Jason Day at 15. That was very poor, the result of an incredibly average wedge into the green after laying up. There’s some higher quality scrambling on 12, McIlroy having sent his tee shot just off the back, but rolling his second to five feet and knocking in a very missable par putt. He remains at -1. Meanwhile Ernie Els, having seven-putted from three feet on the opening hole, has very nearly holed in one at 16. That, ladies and gentlemen, is golf in a nutshell. And it’ll be golf in a nutshell whether he knocks in the birdie putt, or takes another six from four feet.

Jason Day
Jason Day shows his frustation. Photograph: Chris Carlson/AP

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Jimmy Walker didn’t get where he is today without looking at the stars. Literally sometimes, of course, but he’s also aiming high this week, refusing to buckle under the weight of history. He won the par-three tournament yesterday in an absurd 19 shots, and of course nobody’s gone on to win the Masters after doing that. But he’s shrugged that off, reasoning that someone’s got to do it sometime, and in any case, it’s a sign that he’s playing well. And indeed he is! Out in 34, he dropped a shot at 11 but has picked it up again at 13. He’s -2, very well placed indeed.

You’ll notice I’ve not mentioned Sergio Garcia all day. Well, there are a couple of reasons for that. One, he went out late. Two, he’s done nothing worthy of comment. Bogeys at 3 and 4, a birdie at 9. Perhaps he’s sulking about the Wolfsburg result last night. Better news for European fans comes courtesy of another Ryder Cup hero, Ian Poulter. He’s just carded his third birdie in four holes at 16, to move into a very healthy position at -3.

Ian Poulter
Ian Poulter dressed down for the first round but is playing well to climb up the leaderboard. Photograph: David Cannon/Getty Images

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A bad couple of minutes for the Irish charge. Lowry sends his tee shot at 12 into a bunker, only just splashes out of it, and that’s a bogey. He’s -4, alongside Lee, who has moved the other way after birdie at 16. McIlroy meanwhile can’t rake in his long par saver on 11, and he’s back to -1. Brandt Snedeker, meanwhile, having gone out in 33, came back in 38 and has to settle for a one-under 71.

-6: Spieth (F)
-5: Day (14)
-4: Lee (16), Lowry (12)
-3: Casey (F), Rose (F)

Trouble for Bubba on 15. He sends his third bounding through the green and down the slope at the back. He can’t get up and down, and that’s a fourth bogey in five holes for the two-time winner. And it’ll be getting worse, because he’s just chunked his tee shot at 16 into the drink. Bubba! Speaking of big hitters who experience the odd hot flush, we didn’t wrap up the story of Dustin Johnson. The big loveable galoot reached the turn in 34, but from there it all went slightly wrong. Bogey at 10, a double at 11 after some faffing around in the trees down the left, and birdies at 14 and 16 offset by bogeys at 15 and 18. He signed for a 73. Not out of it, but he’ll need something good tomorrow you’d have thought.

Rory is in a bit of trouble down 11. He’s larruped his drive into trees down the right, and only just managed to hack out of them. He’s facing an up and down from distance, in the second cut on the right. His third, a wedge in, is pin high, albeit 25 feet from the flag. He’ll have to knock that in to save his par. Jordan Spieth managed to scramble from a position in those trees. He had a clearer route out of them, it’s true, but McIlroy could do with a similar momentum saver here.

Lowry can’t make his birdie putt on 11, but par will more than suffice. He’s -5. Willett might be a little more disappointed on 12, having pushed his putt right of the hole from a very makeable distance. He stays at -2. Day meanwhile has a look at birdie on 14 from 20 feet, but doesn’t hit it. He remains at -5. Meanwhile here’s Tom Wahl, regarding Rory’s boots (a phrase I’ve used solely to give anyone who grew up in the UK during the 1970s this earworm): “I don’t think sentiment has anything to do with it. A tribute? (9.27pm) It’s more like ‘Marked with 4/13’ as another Nike marketing ploy to sell a limited edition set of shoes. Oh, and if Rory wins the Masters, you think Kobe will have ‘Grand Slam’ on his basketball shoes?”

Matthew Fitzpatrick, on his first appearance here as a professional, signs for a one-under 71. That’s a very assured performance by the 21-year-old from Sheffield. He has it, I think. Back on 11, Shane Lowry has played one of the approaches of the day at that treacherous hole, punching his iron into the heart of the green, leaving himself a 12-footer for birdie. And up on 12, Willett clips a delightful tee shot straight at the flag, and he’s got a ten-footer uphill for birdie. Spieth has set one hell of a mark today, but quite a few of the players are doing their level best to respond, despite the wind having picked up to levels of Good Old Puff.

One-under 71 for Sheffield’s Matthew Fitzpatrick.
One-under 71 for Sheffield’s Matthew Fitzpatrick. Photograph: Kevin C Cox/Getty Images

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Danny Willett isn’t far off from raking home a 35-footer across 11 for birdie. He’ll settle for a par at a very difficult hole, and he remains at -2. A strong finish meanwhile from Billy Horschel, who birdied 12, 16 and finally 18 for a two-under 34. Meanwhile here’s Simon Farnaby again. “Now Rory’s getting into it. All the big guns present! It’s a shame Fowler used all his energy taking selfies during the par-three tournament.”

Birdie for Jason Day, who ends his Amen Corner funk at 13. He moves to -5, a shot behind the leader Spieth. Back-to-back birdies for Ian Poulter at 13 and 14, and he’s -2. Danny Willett is going well, having reached the turn in 34 strokes; he’s -2 through 10. And the young New Zealander Danny Lee has burst up the leaderboard, birdies at 8, 9 and 12 launching him to -3. Rory, meanwhile, has parred the awfully troublesome 10th, and remains at -2. Most of the big names are in the mix here, barring Fowler and Adam Scott, who signed for a terribly disappointing 76, +4.

Here’s our main man Ewan Murray on this morning’s poignant ceremonial appearance by a frail Arnold Palmer. An emotional moment, especially for Jack Nicklaus, as a fellow legend approaches his autumn years. All hail the King.

Bubba had a bit of a shocker, incidentally, through Amen Corner. Bogeys at 11 and 12, and he was back down to level par. Then he wanged his tee shot at 13 into deep filth down the left. No matter! He powered his way out into the heart of the green, and very nearly made an eagle putt. He had to make do with birdie - a shot he’s now handed straight back to the field by missing a short uphill par putt at 14. He’s level par. Meanwhile Lowry lags up well from distance at 10 to make par. He looks in very determined mood.

-6: Spieth (F)
-5: Lowry (10)
-4: Day (12)
-3: Casey (F), Rose (F), Lee (14)

Justin Rose wasn’t far away from birdie on 18, but didn’t hit his putt and had to settle for a 69. As things stand, he’s tied for fourth on the leaderboard with Paul Casey at -3. Ahead of him, Shane Lowry, who parred 9 in the solid style to reach the turn in a career-best 31 strokes. He’s -5, a shot shy of Spieth at the top. And there’s also Jason Day, who responded to dropping one with a three-putt at 10 by grinding out a fine par on 11, up and down from 80 yards. McIlroy has also reached the turn, sending his second at 9 to four feet, knocking in the putt, and he’s standing on the 10th tee at -2. That’s a decent front nine, considering his slightly sluggish start.

Justin Rose hits from the scenic fairway on the seventeenth on his way to -3.
Justin Rose hits from the scenic fairway on the seventeenth on his way to -3. Photograph: Erik S. Lesser/EPA

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Thanks Bryan! And he’s not the only one of your favourite Guardian pals working away like billy-o for your Masters-related leisure and pleasure. Here’s Andy Bull, still buzzing from that pimento cheese and iced tea breakfast repast, on the astonishing Jordan Spieth.

At least Fowler has a sense of humor about today’s 8-over 80. Slightly less amusing is the worrying trend for the Californian at majors that extends back to last year, where his opening rounds at the sport’s four bedrock tournaments were 73, 81, 72 and 73.

And with that I’ll hand the stick back to the inestimable Scott Murray!

Rory misses a 12-footer on 8 that would have given him consecutive birdies. The four-times major champion, taking aim at the career grand slam this week in Augusta, is paying tribute to soon-to-be-retired Los Angeles Lakers superstar with his footwear today. McIlroy’s shoes are emblazoned with 4/13: the date of Bryant’s last ever game. Nike athletes stick together, it would seem.

Thanks, Scott! Jason Day has just three-putted 10 to drop back to -4. Meanwhile, Davis Love III’s putt for eagle on 13 drifts a couple of feet to the right, leaving a gimme for birdie that brings him back to level par, while Shane Lowry has moved into a tie for second at -4 with a fifth birdie in the span of eight holes.

Anyway, I’m going to make myself a cup of iced tea and a pimento cheese sandwich. So for the next 30 minutes, I’ll leave you in the tender arms of Bryan Armen Graham. See you soon!

Mickelson makes a right pig’s lug of 18. A drive down the middle, but he misjudges his iron into the green, the ball falling back down the ridge that runs along the middle of the putting surface. He’s left with a long putt up the green, and misjudges that one too. He leaves it 15 feet short, and can’t save his par. A poor bogey to end the day, and that’s a level-par 72. And forget what I just said about the wind. It’s just this minute picked up, and the flags are fluttering like billy-o! Apologies to Rory and everyone else still out there for tempting fate.

Rory finally gets something going! His second shot over the flag at 7, and a little left-to-right dribbler guided in from eight feet. Birdie, and he’s -1. He’s been quiet so far, but it might not take much more to catapult him into contention. And it’s early days of course. The wind doesn’t seem to be playing it’s predicted havoc, so he’ll be looking to keep on the tails of the Spieths and Days of this world. At the very least.

A couple of decent 71s. Emiliano Grillo of Argentina, who looked very promising at Whistling Straits in the PGA last year, birdies 16 and 17 on his way in. Hideki Matsuyama, who will surely be winning a major sooner rather than later, birdied 18 to sign for his. They join Streelman, Hoffman and Westwood in a tie for tenth. “Holy shit, I just saw Els’s mind-frazzler on the first!” writes Simon Farnaby, transcribing the words falling out of his potty mouth. “The problem with seeing it is that it has now been logged by my brain as a possibility. I’d never thought of five-putting from six inches. Now I will. Thanks Ernie!” Yes, yes, well, welcome to my world.

Mickelson lands his tee shot at 16 into the heart of the green, allowing the slope to gather his ball towards the hole. He’s left with an eight footer, and that’s in for a birdie that brings him back to level par. A large cheer from the gallery, where there’s always support and hope for Lefty. And he makes another at 17! He’s -1, all of a sudden. Justin Rose lays up in front of Rae’s Creek at 15, then gently wedges to eight feet, before knocking in the birdie putt. But he hands it straight back at 16 with three putts from high on the right. And then at 9, Jason Day lands his ball beside the cup from 127 yards. It stops dead. He’s six inches away. That’ll be a birdie that sees him out in 31 strokes! Something fairly special could be happening here, if he can get through Amen Corner unscathed.

-6: Spieth (F)
-5: Day (9)
-4: Lowry (6)
-3: Casey (F), Rose (16), Piercy (8)

Five birdies in the opening nine for Jason Day.
Five birdies in the opening nine for Jason Day. Photograph: Nicholas Kamm/AFP/Getty Images

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Jordan Spieth speaks! And speaks well, as usual. “The 66 is one of the better rounds I’ve ever shot. I never had great control on my irons, but the ones I missed were in the right places where I could save par. My short game was there, though, and I made a lot of putts. In order to stay bogey free - which isn’t necessarily the goal, the goal is to shoot under par - I had to stay patient today. This is a place I feel comfortable. You need imagination. It excites you when you tee off. The Champions Dinner was really cool. That kind of audience at dinner. It was very cool to have Mr Palmer there, and for him to be at the ceremonial teeing off, even if he wasn’t feeling too well. It was really awesome, and everyone made me feel very welcome into the Masters club.” Pitch perfect in just about every interview. The new Nicklaus, in more ways than one.

Jordan Spieth applauds at the end of his round.
Jordan Spieth applauds at the end of his round. Photograph: Matt Slocum/AP

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A three-putt bogey for Bubba on 9. That was always on the cards when he came up short, leaving a long putt which was clattered four feet past the hole. A tricky one back downhill, and he drops to -2. A birdie for Jason Day at 8, and he joins Lowry in second spot at -4. And coming behind his fellow Irishman, McIlroy, who has a putt for a birdie on 5 from Lowry Country, but doesn’t hit it. No fire in his belly yet. He’s had a long wait.

So much for Rory’s fast start. He misses a six-footer on 4, and that’s a bogey that drops him back to level par. In fact, he did well to knock in the four-footer he’d left himself coming back. That wasn’t a good par putt. Much better news for Irish golf fans from Lowry, who has just rolled in a right-to-left slider on 5 from 15 feet for his fourth birdie in a row! He’s alone in second place at -4. News meanwhile of Phil Mickelson, who nobody really expected to win, but he is Phil Mickelson, so. He’s never quite got anything going, after bogey at the opening hole. Birdies at 8 and 13, but they’ve been offset by further bogeys at 10 and 11. He’s +1 through 15.

Not such a fast start for Rory McIlroy, back to level par after a bogey on four.
Not such a fast start for Rory McIlroy, back to level par after a bogey on four. Photograph: Nicholas Kamm/AFP/Getty Images

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Spieth splits the fairway at 18, then eases a wedge to six feet. Casey has done well to stay within range of this brilliant young genius, but the defending champ’s relentless work has spooked him. He hits a hot approach through the green. He gets up and down for par and an excellent 69, but that takes second stage to Spieth, who rolls in his birdie putt, and signs for a flawless 66. The last defending champion to hold a first-round lead outright? Jack Nicklaus in 1966. He went on to win it, and became the first man to keep a hold of the Masters title. History repeating? You wouldn’t bet against it.

-6: Spieth (F)
-3: Casey (F), Rose (14), B Watson (8), Day (7), Lowry (4)

Another birdie for bearded hipster Shane Lowry. The man who, out of everyone in the field, looks most likely to ask you to pay £17 for a bowl of Cap’n Crunch, birdies 4. It’s his third in a row, and he’s -3. Bubba is up there, too, having followed up his birdie at 7 with another at 8. And Ian Poulter’s started well: a bogey at 7, but that’s been more than offset by birdies at 5, 6 and now 8. He’s -2. Meanwhile here’s Mark Williams, who you’ll remember cooking up a storm with some Hamburger Helper at 2.27pm: “Thanks for allowing me to have the honour of being the equivalent of Gary Player/Jack Nicklaus, or even Jim Herman, and allowing me to be the first of the emailing community to tee off. If only my actual tee shots were as successful.”

Casey drove into the trees down the left of 17, and it’s cost him. He faces a downhill six-foot dribbler for par, and he misses it on the left lip. He’s back to -3, two shots behind Spieth, who parred the hole in the no-fuss fashion. Piercy meanwhile drops a shot at 5 to move back to -2. But better news for Justin Rose, who picks one up at the first par-five on the back nine, and grabs a slice of second-place action.

-5: Spieth (17)
-3: Casey (17), Rose (13), Snedeker (9), Day (6)

Shane Lowry made his debut here last year, and missed the cut. But he followed that up with a top-ten finish at the US Open, then victory at the WGC Bridgestone. Having finally made his mark in the States, he’s looking to take it up another notch here at Augusta. Birdies at 2 and 3, and he’s joined the group at -2. Daniel Berger’s round is slowly coming apart: having reached the turn in 33, he’s bogeyed 10 and now 12; he’s back to -1. And here’s news of the last man out, Rory McIlroy. A poor drive down 1, and he’s very lucky not to find sand. He makes his par, and follows that up with birdie at 2. His last competitive round here was a 66, and people forget he ended up in fourth spot last year. A continuation of that form would be most welcome. Might be necessary, in fact, the way Spieth is going.

Ernie Els in full. This is the complete farce:

I’m surprised someone from the committee hasn’t turned up to march him off the course.

Paul Casey, however, fired his tee shot at 16 to four feet, a spectacular effort. He pops in the birdie putt, and he’s just the one stroke behind Spieth! And there’s a bit of movement on this leaderboard, because major nearly-man Brandt Snedeker has birdied 8 and 9 to reach the turn in 33, while Jason Day joins him at -3 after birdie at 5. Justin Rose meanwhile birdied 9 and 10 but dropped one at 11 - he’s -2 - while Bubba has arrested that run of pars with his second birdie of the day at 7. So this is shaping up quite nicely:

-5: Spieth (16)
-4: Casey (16)
-3: Snedeker (9), Day (5), Piercy (4)
-2: Rose (12), B Watson (7)

A poor tee shot from Spieth at 16, pushed out high on the bank to the right. He’s got an awfully treacherous chip back down the green, with the water looming behind. He judges it pretty well, 40 feet down the slope. It only just passes the hole, and he’s left with an uphill 10-footer to save his par. And he knocks it in! A fist pump, and no wonder. He’s scrambling brilliantly today! No bogeys on his card yet. By contrast, up on 18, a bogey for Fowler on the last, and he’s signing for an 80, +8. Meanwhile Bob Dehnhardt would like to make a tweak to Simon McMahon’s game (6.59pm) for punters across the ocean. “If the reverse of the game would hold true for us Yanks wanting our British golf name, combining the POTUS and British PM names from our birth, mine would be Eisenhower Macmillan. Doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, does it?”

So this is how Ernie Els managed to run up such a ludicrous score on Tea Olive.

This is exactly what he did on the opening hole at Hoylake two years ago. And he’s got the nerve to wave his arms in the air in surprise, as though casually tapping in backwards, with one hand on the club, never goes wrong. Ernie, man. For goodness sake!

A bogey for Lee Westwood at the last, but he’ll be happy enough with an opening round of 71. He’s joint leader in the clubhouse, alongside Kevin Streelman and Charley Hoffman. Chris Wood of England is back home too, with a level-par 72, as is early leader Thongchai Jaidee. Two-time winner Bubba Watson birdied the opening hole, and has parred his way through 6; he’s -1. And on 15, the first bogey of the round for amateur Bryson DeChambeau, but even this is a qualified success: he found the water, and fought hard to limit the damage. His playing partner and Tournament leader Jordan Spieth was a turn away from draining a 15-footer to move to -6, four ahead of the field. But no. Instead, Paul Casey teases in a delicate 10-footer for his birdie, and he moves to -3, while Scott Piercy birdies 4 to join him there, and suddenly Spieth’s lead is just two.

-5: Spieth (15)
-3: Casey (15), Piercy (4)

Ernie Els, then. “This is a mentally and physically demanding golf course - it takes a lot out of you during tournament week,” he wrote yesterday on his PGA blog. “You want to get dialled in to your distances and spend a bit more time than usual on your short game and putting.” But maybe not too much time, else you send your brain clanking around the inside of your noggin like a mad molecule. He’s just taken a record-breaking 10 strokes on the opening hole, having taken seven putts - seven putts - from three feet - three feet! He’s got form for this, having three-putted from one foot at the Open in 2014. But this is new. Oh Ernie!

The scoreboard after the first shows record-breaker Els on six over.
The scoreboard after the first shows record-breaker Els on six over. Photograph: Harry How/Getty Images

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Spieth scrambles his par on 14! That really is quite something. A chip to five feet, which looked almost impossible from down among the patrons behind the green, and a hard-as-nails saver knocked straight into the cup. This is as impressive as his opening-day 64 last year, in many ways. He’s not playing as well - he could easily have dropped shots at 11, 12 and 14 - but he’s letting nothing slip by. This is how serial champions carry on, ins’t it.

-5: Spieth (14)
-3: Rose (10)
-2: Westwood (17), Casey (14), Berger (10), Day (3), Kuchar (3), Piercey (2)

Birdie for Justin Rose at 10, and he’s suddenly -3! And he’s got second place to himself, because his playing partner Daniel Berger drops one on the same hole to move back to -2. Two putts from Fowler on 16, and that’s his double. He’s +7 for his round. He was level par at the turn. This is an abject capitulation by one of the pre-tournament favourites. Meanwhile an eagle for Scott Piercy on 2, and he’s -2. “Gotta love American golf, and American golf names in particular,” writes Simon McMahon, who is made up with the emergence of Bryson DeChambeau, I’ll be bound. “I’ve been thinking of a way to decide what my American golfer name would be, and the best I could come up with was to combine the names of the UK Prime Minister and the POTUS when I was born. That makes me Heath Nixon, Mrs McMahon Wilson Johnson, and the McMahon kids Blair Clinton and Blair Bush. I think it gets better the older you are, as my dad is Chamberlain Roosevelt. Let’s just hope there’s no kids born in the next decade who’s American golfer name is Osborne Trump.” Great idea. That makes me ... er ... Heath Nixon II. Hey, this really works. I like this game.

On 16, Rickie Fowler has just slam-dunked his tee shot into the water. His third off the tee is absurdly conservative, away to the right of the big green, a tricky two putts left for another double bogey. This is quite painful to watch. A little bit of trouble for the leader Jordan Spieth on 14, too; he’s driven into the long stuff down the right, and his second takes a flier through the green. A huge hill to get up and over, not much green between himself and the flag, and a glacial green that falls away to the front. If he gets up and down from there, the rest of the field may as well pack up and go home already.

Poulter leaps up to check his lie during a solid start.
Poulter leaps up to check his lie during a solid start. Photograph: Matt Slocum/AP

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A few of the early starters have reached the clubhouse. Bottom of the pile is poor old Robert Streb, who started with two doubles and a bogey in his first four holes, and finished with a double and two bogeys in his last four. An 81, and he’s +9. Curtis Strange tied for second in 1985 after carding a first-round 80, so there’s always hope I suppose. But not much. The very early leader Jim Herman, Donald Trump’s horse, finished with a 75. He’s +3, having risen as high as -2. Victor Dubuisson is in with a 73, +1. And leading in the clubhouse, for what that’s worth right now, is Kevin Streelman with a one-under 71.

At 13, neither Casey nor Spieth can convert their eagle opportunities. Casey misses a downhill dribbler to the left, Spieth blocks his easier uphill effort to the right. But birdies for them both. Casey jumps back to -2, a fine response to those back-to-back bogeys. More importantly, though, Spieth extends his lead at the top to two strokes over Berger, who has reached the turn in 33 strokes after birdies at 3, 4 and 8. Meanwhile some hot action just below that pair: birdie for Westwood on 16, birdie for Rose at 9, birdies for Matt Kuchar at 1 and 2, and an eagle for the pre-tournament favourite Jason Day at 2! It’s all happening now!

-5: Spieth (13)
-3: Berger (9)
-2: Westwood (16), Casey (13), Rose (9), Day (2), Kuchar (2)

Amen Corner really did for poor old Rickie Fowler, though. That triple bogey on 13 looks to have broken him already. He’s driving like a madman, or, even worse, Seve. Another tee shot whistles into the woods at 14, and that’s another bogey. He’s +5. And now he’s sent his approach into 15 through the green, and nearly into the water at the back. His playing partner Zach Johnson is coming unstuck too. A bogey at 11, then a three-putt bogey at 14, and he’s +1 all of a sudden. And now he’s eschewed his usual conservative approach at the par-fives to go for the green at 15 in two. He’s pushed that miles right. Trouble there.

Leader Jordan Spieth lines up yet another birdie putt.
Leader Jordan Spieth lines up yet another birdie putt. Photograph: Jim Watson/AFP/Getty Images

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Thanks to Michael there. And that Jordan Spieth ... dear me. What a player. A bit of luck to escape the water back on 11 there, perhaps, but to get up and down to save his par, then to do the same from the back of 12 ... dear me. What a player! The true greats get their match-play chops on in those situations, refusing to give up any ground. Just magic. And now, having split the fairway at 13, he’s arrowed an iron to 15 feet, a chance for eagle. If he knocks that in, the field are in a little trouble already! Casey, having bogeyed poorly at both 11 and 12, is doing his best to arrest his personal slide and keep on Spieth’s tail as best he can. He’s inside Spieth in two, with an eagle chance of his own. This is already hotting up, and we’re not halfway through the first day yet!

Scott Murray is back from his well-earned break. I’ll leave it in his very capable hands. See ya!

Berger is on the march! He birdies the 8th, and the 2015 PGA Rookie of the Year now is second on -3. Brandt Snedeker has had a sunny start, he’s started with two birdies in his opening four holes. at the 13th, DeChambeau slices his tee shot way right and into the needles: the amateur is yet to record a bogey on his first 12 holes, but he will do awful well to avoid one here.

“Just wondering what’s the weather like?” emails William Mahoney. Well it’s still sunny out, and there is a brisk wind, which is only going to get stronger. Players out on the course will want to make the most of it. It’s only going to get trickier.

Spieth is just in the fringe of the 12th green, opting to putt rather than chip it the distance. But his ball bounces unevenly through that the thicker grass and stops well short of the pin. He’ll have a tricky par put, but sneaks it just in the left edge. Fistpumps all round, Spieth is bloody delighted with that! He remains at -4. The same can’t be said for Casey, he records his second consecutive bogey to fall further behind at -1. Two holes ago, he was joint leader with Spieth!

If you fancy some light relief, why not try our quiz?

DeChambeau, 12th tee ... not a problem. Nerves of steel there, landing the ball on an exact length with the pin on the green, perhaps 15 feet to the left. DeChambeau’s clubs are all the same length at 37.5 inches with a lie angle of 73 and 12 degrees bounce, which is pretty much unheard of on the tour. He was turned down by lots of colleges because of that, I’ve heard. But here he is on his maiden Masters round, at Amen Corner, nailing it.

Spieth two-puts from that treacherous fringe but Casey has bogeyed the 11th to hand the American a two-shot lead. Casey is now -2, with Spieth remaining at -4. Fowler meanwhile, has found the water at the 13th, it looks like he rushed that last shot. He’s fading fast, looks as though he’s slip to +4. You can’t win the Masters on day one, but you can certainly lose it. Fowler, probably the best player out there not to have a major to his name, is slipping once again.

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You’ll notice that Bradley has forced himself onto the early leaderboard, knocking in birdies on the first two holes. Keegan is one of the most likeable golfers on tour, very humble, having grown up in a Massachusetts trailer park with his father, Mark. But back to Augusta, and the 2nd is also a happy hunting ground for Kevin Kisner, who climbs aboard a passing eagle and pilots it into the cup. Woof!

Spieth has found the pineneedles at 11! He went way right off the tee and found himself wedged behind a large trunk and young shrub but somehow managed to fly his second shot through the leaves and onto the green! It’s a quite remarkable recovery shot and ... hang on, the ball takes a nasty kick to the left and rolls towards the water, stopping two inches short of dropping into the pond. WHAT A SHOT, but also what a piece of luck for Texas’ finest.

Fowler is onto the monster 510 yard, par five 13th hole. It’s a huge draw to the left, but the American shanks it, and looks to be in even more trouble. If you are Mickelson, you can make the green in two here over Rae’s Creek, but Fowler won’t be doing that. He’s +1 remember.

-4: Spieth (10)
-3: Casey (10),
-2: Matsuyama (9), Berger (7), Bradley (2)

Frontrunners and white-trousered Spieth and Casey enjoy the start at Augusta.
Frontrunners and white-trousered Spieth and Casey enjoy the start at Augusta. Photograph: Charlie Riedel/AP

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There’s no stopping Spieth! Last year’s winner is looking ominously good, hitting his second shot on the 10th to within a few feet of the pin, his iron just creeping up that steep incline at the front of the green. It’s an uphill put, but Spieth knocks it in with all the confidence of Usain Bolt at Notting Hill Carnival. He’s -4 now, our outright leader.

But wait, here comes Casey! The Englishman holes a huuuuuge put, also on the 10th, that swings from left to right and in for a birdie of his own. He’s -3 now, lying in second, and is quietly going about his business in the way that Casey does.

Hello world! At the 10th, DeChambeau creams his drive right down the middle and boy does he look happy about it, giving the thumbs up down the barrel of the camera as he skips off the tee. The man is a marketing dream, especially with that flatcap. All of his irons are named after moments in Masters history by the way: “Jackie” and “Keiser” for 1956 champ Jackie Burke and 1946 winner Herman Keiser. “Juniper” and “Azalea” represent the Par-3 sixth and par-5 13th.

Do email me with any thoughts michael.butler@theguardian.com and I’m also taking tweets @michaelbutler18.

And with that, I’m off to shovel some Hamburger Helper down my throat. Michael Butler will treat you with the love you deserve! See you in an hour.

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Some very interesting moves from a European perspective. Jamie Donaldson has birdied 5 to join a group at -2. A group that’s growing fast. Because also joining it: Matthew Fitzpatrick! The 21-year-old has opened birdie-birdie. Superb. Up on 9, Casey very nearly rakes in a 30-footer for birdie, but he’ll reach the turn in a very acceptable 34. Spieth nearly rolls in a 20-foot left-to-right curler for birdie, but he turns in 33, a shot in the lead. The amateur Bryson DeChambeau pars, and still hasn’t recorded a bogey; he’s through 9 in 35. The members of this group are pushing each other along very nicely.

-3: Spieth (9)
-2: Casey (9), Donaldson (5), Berger (5), Fitzpatrick (2)

The first left-handed player to win the Masters? It should have been Phil Mickelson, shouldn’t it. Or maybe Bob Charles. But in the end it was Mike Weir. The 2003 winner has had an eventful start to his round: birdie at 2, bogey at 3. Back to level par. So that leaderboard of ours is already out of date. Bah. Moving the other way, into red figures: Hideki Matsuyama (7), Brooks Koepka (4), Billy Horschel (2) and Keegan Bradley (1). And another dropped shot for Rickie Fowler, who is beginning to lose the momentum he recovered: a bogey at 10, and he’s +1.

So you’ll have noticed the name of Dustin Johnson in that group at -1. He’s carded back-to-back birdies: the one at 6 we knew about, the one at 7 we know about now. Henrik Stenson is moving on up, too, having birdied 4. Young Matthew Fitzpatrick of Sheffield, low amateur at the Open and US Open of late, is now a jobbing pro like the rest of them. And he’s started his first Masters as a professional in perfect fashion, with birdie at the opening hole. “If Dustin did win, I’m banking on him flinging the putter in the air - Jack-style - and it landing right on Billy Payne’s noggin.” Gary Naylor there, with a flight of fancy we’d all pay cash money to see.

Casey is a couple of joules of energy short of birdie at 8. His putt up the hill dies just before the hole, and that’s a par that keeps him at -2. He strides off in the disappointed, irritated fashion, and no wonder from where he was. DeChambeau pars too, but he’s a wee bit happier, having rather duffed his chip back onto the green, but slipped a missable six-footer into the cup. He’s still -1. But there’s a new boss - and he’s the same as the old boss. The first player to reach -3 is Jordan Spieth, who knocks in the easy birdie chance set up by that gorgeous chip.

-3: Spieth (8)
-2: Casey (8), Berger (4)
-1: Wiesberger (12), Jaidee (10), Westwood (10), Z Johnson (9), Oosthuizen (8), DeChambeau (8), D Johnson (7), Stenson (5), Rose (4), Donaldson (4), Weir (2), Fitzpatrick (1)

Spieth is a few yards short of the par-five 8th in two. His third is a crisp chip to three feet. And in goes the birdie putt. This is so simple when he does it like this. Sheer brilliance. Casey and DeChambeau show it’s not quite so easy, the former leaving his chip, which had been aimed straight at the flag, a good 25 feet short of the hole, the latter sending his third whistling past the pin and off the back of the green. Meanwhile another hot young prospect, Daniel Berger, has joined the leaders with back-to-back birdies at 3 and 4 on his Masters debut. You’d say the only way is down, but Jordan Spieth has proved that isn’t necessarily true.

Oosthuizen is immediately back in business, with birdie at 8. He’s -1 again. Up on 9, Fowler is an inch away from draining an uphill 30-footer, but that’s a par, and he’s out in level-par 36. That’s not bad at all, given that double on the opening hole. Zach Johnson reaches the turn in 35, but he’s not in such a reasonable mood: he only just reached the front of 9 with his approach, and the ball did what it always does there: roll back down the fairway like buggery. He sends his third up to ten feet, giving himself half a chance to salvage par, but the ball skims past the left of the cup. Bogey, and now it’s only Spieth and Casey sharing the lead at -2.

Two early birdies for joint leader Paul Casey.
Two early birdies for joint leader Paul Casey. Photograph: Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

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Paul Casey joins Spieth and Zach Johnson in the lead, after curling in a magnificent 20-foot left-to-right slider on 7. He’s -2. Bryson DeChambeau continues to trot along in a very steady and impressive fashion, parring the hole to remain at -1. Down the leaderboard a bit, we find both Louis Oosthuizen and Dustin Johnson at level par; Oosthuizen dropping back after bogey at 7, the big man moving on up with a birdie at 6. I’m pretty sure I’d not be alone in admitting my heart broke a little for poor Dustin when he threw away the US Open last year, three-putting from ten feet or so. There’d be no more popular champion if he managed to finally land a major this week. Cue him ripping his green jacket in two by sticking both arms down the same sleeve, or accidentally burning down the Butler Cabin in the silent-movie style. If he does make it, I hope Jim Nantz is well insured. Anyway, we digress.

A good start for the 2014 Ryder Cup hero Jamie Donaldson. He’s not got much of a record in the majors - a top-15 finish here a couple of years ago, and a seventh place at the PGA in 2012 - but a birdie at 2 has him in fine fettle. A dropped shot meanwhile for Bernd Wiesberger at 10; he’s dropping out of the lead before he’s even reached Amen Corner. “Do you, like I do, hear the first line of Bowie’s Song for Bob Dylan every time you think of the 2008 winner?” asks Brian Cloughley. “’Aw, hear this, Trevor Immelman...’? You do now.” Given his form since that career high, it’s fair to say he’s the man who fell to earth. And he’s just dropped a shot at 11 to fall back to +2. Probably unlikely to be in contention this week. Or the next.

Spieth rolls a fairly straight birdie putt up the green at 6, and he joins the leaders! So, idle early speculation, of course. But those back-to-back winners: Jack Nicklaus, Nick Faldo, Tiger Woods ... Jordan Spieth? His name wouldn’t look out of place, would it.

-2: Wiesberger (9), Z Johnson (7), Spieth (6)
-1: Dubuisson (10), Jaidee (8), Westwood (8), Oosthuizen (6), Casey (6), DeChambeau (6), English (3), Rose (1)

The winds are beginning to give the players some pause for thought. The reigning champ Jordan Spieth takes an age to work out what he’s going to do at the par-three 6th, the wind swirling around in the circus style. No matter! He clips a beauty to 12 feet. He’ll have a good look at birdie from there; if he makes it, he’ll be joining the leaders Wiesberger and Johnson. A strong start by the 2013 US Open champ Justin Rose, who could have won here last year in a parallel universe not containing that man Spieth. He birdies Tea Olive to join the large group at -1. An up-and-down start for Henrik Stenson, who dropped one on the opening hole, but picked it straight back up again at 2. Hideki Matsuyama started out in the exact same style. But the much-fancied Adam Scott has started with a stutter: a bogey at the opening hole. It doesn’t look as though anybody’s going to be posting an opening-day 64 this year.

Defending champ Jordan Spieth talks with caddie Michael Greller as the wind picks up at Augusta.
Defending champ Jordan Spieth talks with caddie Michael Greller as the wind picks up at Augusta. Photograph: Rob Schumacher/USA Today Sports

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Sensational by Zach Johnson! He thinks about the chip from the back of 7. But he takes his putter instead and rolls his ball through the fringe. A large left-to-right curler is clearly going in the hole, even when some distance away. A brilliantly judged putt down a treacherous green! And he’s now the joint leader at -2 with Bernd Wiesberger. Fowler, however, can’t even save his par. His third into the green, a wildly spinning wedge, bites by the hole but nearly skitters back off the front of the putting surface. He’s close to draining the long par putt, but that’s a bogey and he’s back to level par for the day.

Rickie Fowler is having an eventful round all right. Up on 7, he’s landed his drive behind a tree. Snookered, he’s forced to pitch out. He’s got to get up and down from 100 yards to save his par. There’s an argument that he’s in a better position than his partner Zach Johnson, whose second has only just toppled over the back of the green. Nevertheless, that’s going to be a hell of an up and down. Meanwhile back on 5, DeChambeau, Spieth and Casey all leave themselves uphill putts from around 20 feet for birdie. None of them drop.

Amen Corner has claimed its first victim of the week. Steven Bowditch has dumped his tee shot at the pretty, picturesque and perilous 12th into Rae’s Creek. A double bogey five, and he’s propping up the entire leaderboard at +5. Slow starts meanwhile for Dustin Johnson, who is +1 through 3, and Phil Mickelson, the three-time winner dropping a stroke at the opening hole.

The Open champion Zach Johnson, who won here in 2007, endured a mixed start. A bogey at 2. A birdie at 3. A scramble for par on a couple of occasions. But he very nearly holes in one at 6. The ball bites six feet past the hole, and is close to spinning back in. He’s got a couple of feet left, and knocks in the putt to join the large group at -1, a shot behind the leader Wiesberger. His playing partner Rickie Fowler shaves the hole with a 30-footer, and is denied his fourth birdie of the day.

Rickie Fowler eyes up a putt as he recovers from a double-bogey first.
Rickie Fowler eyes up a putt as he recovers from a double-bogey first. Photograph: Jim Watson/AFP/Getty Images

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The defending champion Spieth has recorded his first birdie of the 2016 Masters. He spun his second at 3 to six feet, and rolled in the putt with no fuss. He’s -1, though in a spot of trouble at the par-three 4th, having mishit his tee shot, his ball not even reaching the bunker front right. DeChambeau - who wasn’t far away from a birdie himself at 3 - put his tee shot pin high to 15 feet, so he’ll have a look at birdie. Casey, meanwhile, has stuck his to four feet, a magnificent effort. This is turning into a pretty damn exciting three-ball already. So. Spieth flops over the bunker and lands his ball six feet from the cup. A chance to save his par. He makes it. DeChambeau aggressively rolls his birdie effort six feet past the hole, but composes himself and knocks in the return. And finally Casey, putting through his shadow, knocks in his birdie putt. He’s -1. Easy to forget that he tied for sixth here last year. He likes this course. And it’s a good start for the English star.

A third birdie for Rickie Fowler! He arrows a long iron straight at the flag at 5 from 220 yards. It lands by the cup and screeches to a stop. That’s left him with a four-footer for birdie, and he rolls it in. This is a wonderful effort by Fowler, who really looks in the mood now. If DeChambeau’s long iron into 2 had been the shot of the day so far, that one might beat it. A heat-seeking missile! He’s -1. But he’s a shot off the lead, because Wiesberger, who had birdied 2, has added another at 7. He’s the sole leader of this Tournament at this early stage at -2.

A couple of major winners having a hard time of it. The 2012 US Open champion Webb Simpson is +3 through 5, while Jason ‘The Somnambulist’ Dufner is already sleepwalking his way to a poor score: he’s +2 through 2. Well, it is early. He was more fun when he was carrying a bit of lumber. Don’t listen to the body fascists, kids. Love who you are. Speaking of food ... “Was Hamburger Helper included in the Texas BBQ that Spieth selected as the Masters champion’s dinner, and what other tasty morsels were dished up to the players and members?” wonders Raymond Reardon. Sadly not, but the menu wasn’t half bad. A local greens salad featuring heirloom tomatoes, shaved red onion and corn muffins. Beef brisket, smoked chicken and pork ribs. BBQ baked beans. Bacon and chive potato salad. Spring beans. And choc-chip cookie with vanilla ice cream to polish it all off. Wines from Napa Valley. Before the meal, Spieth said he was looking forward to doing “a lot of listening” to his elders. There are many reasons why he’s so damn good, but there’s one of them.

Spieth doesn’t have any green to play with. And though he flops over the bunker brilliantly, his ball only just dropping on the fringe, he can’t stop it rolling 25 feet past the flag. He very nearly Tiger-On-16s a huge right-angled breaker into the cup for a spectacular birdie, but like Frank Costanza, it stops short. A second par. Paul Casey misses a six footer for his birdie; he’s got back-to-back pars on his card too. But what about Bryson DeChambeau! This is his first visit to Augusta, and he should be making eagle on the second hole he plays. But he doesn’t really hit his putt, and it squeaks off to the right in a rather apologetic fashion. He taps in for a birdie, though, and the young amateur is joint leader of the Masters alongside Wiesberger, Jaidee, Tom Watson, Westwood and Oozthuizen. That is not bad company to be keeping.

Joint-leader Tom Watson acknowledges the crowd at Augusta.
Joint-leader Tom Watson acknowledges the crowd at Augusta. Photograph: Rob Schumacher/USA Today Sports

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Back-to-back birdies for Rickie Fowler! After that double bogey on the opening hole, he repaired some of the damage at the par-five 2nd, and has now rolled a 25-footer across 3 and into the cup. He’s level par again, and walking on air. Back on 2, Spieth’s second shot is poor, pushed to the right. He’s got sand between his ball and the hole, and he’s shortsided to boot. DeChambeau, though, has just lashed a long iron down the hill to within 12 feet! He’ll have a good look at eagle! Ahead of this group, incidentally, is Louis Oosthuizen, who famously trundled in an albatross at 2 on the final day in 2012. He enjoys the 2nd, and picked up a stroke there today. He joins that leading group at -1, which now also includes Lee Westwood, the nearly man having birdied 4!

The defending champion Jordan Spieth is out and about. He’s just opened with a par, matching his playing partners Paul Casey and the extremely entertaining US Amateur champion Bryson DeChambeau. Could DeChambeau - the Next Big Thing, with flamboyant shades of the late, great Payne Stewart - become the first amateur winner of the Masters, fulfilling Bobby Jones’s dream just before turning pro? Probably not. But we’re all allowed to drift away into reverie whenever we like. Meanwhile at the top of the leaderboard, Jaidee has dropped a stroke at 4, and falls back into a tie at -1 with the aforementioned Weisberger, Dubuisson, who has birdied 5 and ... Tom Watson! The two-time Master has picked up a shot at 3. The following leaderboard is kind of pointless, but savour it while you can.

-1: Dubuisson (5), Wiesberger (5), Jaidee (4), T Watson (3)

Another birdie for Jaidee, this time at 3, and he’s the sole leader of the 2016 Masters at this early stage. At -2, he’s a shot clear of Wiesberger. But there’s been trouble from the off for one of the pre-tournament favourites, Rickie Fowler. He hoicked his opening tee shot into the trees down the right of Tea Olive, and was forced to take his medicine chipping back out. Throw in a three-putt, and that’s a double-bogey disaster for the popular Californian.

Rickie Fowler watches his shot bounce off a tree on the first fairway.
Rickie Fowler watches his shot bounce off a tree on the first fairway. Photograph: Matt Slocum/AP

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Jim Herman is, of course, The Donald’s officially endorsed candidate for the Masters 2016. Herman used to work for popular Republican presidential hopeful Donald Trump as assistant professional at Trump National Golf Club in Bedminster, New Jersey. “He’s what America is all about,” smiled Trump upon hearing of Herman’s win in Houston last week. Sadly for the player, his Masters bid seems to be going the same way as Trump’s presidential campaign: after a blistering start, he’s now heading in the wrong direction. A third bogey on the spin, this time at 6, and he’s +1. Back-to-back bogeys for 1988 winner Lyle, too, at 3 and 4: he’s +2.

Breaking news from the Guardian’s Caviar Of The South correspondent, Andy Bull: His morning repast of pim and iced tea is in. “Yup!” is the sum total of his dispatch.

Bull’s desk. Feet not pictured.
Bull’s desk. Feet not pictured.

While he’s putting in the hard yards so you don’t have to, some news from out on the course. Dubuisson has bogeyed 3 to drop back into the ever-expanding pack at level par, leaving Wiesberger and Jaidee out there alone as the early leaders, both -1 through 2. Bowditch has dropped another shot, this time at 7, but he’s not the worst out there, because Streb has had another fit with the flat stick, three-putting 4 for a second double bogey. He’s five over through 4.

Early birdies for Victor Dubuisson and Bernd Wiesberger at 2. They’re now the new leaders at -1. Europe’s first win since Jose Maria Olazabal in 1999 is on! They’re joined up there by Thongchai Jaidee of Thailand, who has opened his round with a birdie. There are a few former champs out there already, by the way. Currently pootling along at level par: 1988 hero Sandy Lyle, and 1977 and 1981 legend Tom Watson. One over: 1987 winner and resident of Greg Norman’s head Larry Mize. And the 2008 champion Trevor Immelman, who has bogeyed 3 and 4 and is already +2.

So much for Jim Herman’s fast start. As soon as he got out there, he started coming straight back. Bogeys at 4 and 5 have dropped him back to level par. Steven Bowditch has steadied his severely listing ship with a run of three pars, but he’s still at the bottom of the early leaderboard at +3. Though the propping up’s being shared by Robert Streb, who had a decent showing at last year’s Open and PGA, but doesn’t look like making it three impressive majors in a row: a bogey at 2 has been followed up by a rather unnecessary three-putt at 3 for double. If Bowditch and Streb are any example, the night-time rain hasn’t done much to tame these very speedy greens.

Concession stand: But before we begin in earnest, just in case you missed the definitive Masters preview piece from Andy Bull, you’d better click below. And don’t drool over your laptop/tablet/mobile, have you no manners.

Meanwhile the first email of this year’s Tournament has landed softly on the information superfairway. “I’m very excited that the Masters is starting, particularly due to the Hole By Hole, which I follow when at work,” writes Mark Williams. “Perverse as it may be, one of the treats are the repeated mentions of Hamburger Helper. Which is why I first thought of you when I read this.” Ah yes. Hamburger Helper, the only more-ish salty food-flavored foodstuff marketed by what appears to be a talking golf glove. That’s luncheon sorted.

Step aside, Golf Boys. “Hamburger Helper is all that I eat.” Who can’t relate? Pimento cheese and Helper, though! I’m stuffed already. Let’s go out on the course to walk some of it off.

The first name in lights at the 2016 Masters: Cincinnati journeyman Jim Herman. The 38-year-old is making his Masters debut this week, having recorded his first PGA Tour victory a mere four days ago at the Shell Huston Open. That success secured his place here. He’s unlikely to complete back-to-back Tour victories this week - Sam Snead did it at the Masters in 1949, as did Sandy Lyle in 1988 - but in fairness he’s started well, chipping in at the 1st for the opening birdie of this year’s Tournament. He’s followed that up with another birdie at 2. His playing partner Steven Bowditch isn’t going so well, though, having bogeyed the opening hole, then suffered a mini-meltdown on the 2nd green with the flat stick, prodding his way with great uncertainty to a double-bogey 7. So how about this for an opening leaderboard:

-2: Herman (2)
+3: Bowditch (2)

Weather report: It’s a poor draw for Rory McIlroy, chasing that career grand slam. He’s out last, which would be fine and dandy were this Sunday, but it’s not, is it. That’d be tough mentally in any circumstances, but it’ll be tricky in more practical terms too: the wind is likely to pick up as the day goes on, with gusts of up to 20mph by the time he gets out. It’s not so great news for other green jacket hopefuls such as Jason Day, Sergio Garcia , Charl Schwartzel and Bubba Watson, also starting late. But Jordan Spieth, out within the hour, won’t mind so much.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the 2016 Masters has now officially begun.” The Honorary Starters have done their thing, Gary Player and Jack Nicklaus creaming shots down Tea Olive, 86-year-old Arnold Palmer watching on. Just the 13 Masters between them. Have fun!

Welcome, dear Patrons ...

... to the 80th Masters Tournament. The most wide-open in years and years and years and years? A potential classic in the making? Well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves, lest we suffer immense disappointment. But yes. Yes it is. And anyway, to hell with self-restraint! It’s Thursday morning of the Masters, so we’re allowed to indulge in a little bit of Golf Fever. If not now, when? So let it flow! It’s kicking in! All hail the 2016 Masters, a Tournament for the ages! As Clifford Roberts never once said: Yay! Woo hoo! It’s on!

Consider the runners and riders. The pre-tournament favourite is Jason Day. Little wonder. Last year he finally broke his major duck at the PGA, after coming one under-hit putt short of a play-off at the Open at St Andrews, and a top-ten US Open finish which would surely have been a good few places better had vertigo not struck. And while he might have only scraped into the top 30 at Augusta 12 months ago, he’s already finished second and third here, so knows what it takes. He’s in form, too, with recent back-to-back wins at the Arnold Palmer and the WGC Match Play. The second Australian to win the Masters?

What about the first Australian to win the Masters? Adam Scott’s career was supposed to be over now he’s been forced to put the long putter away. Nope! His flat stick is hotter than ever, and back-to-back wins at the Honda Classic and the WGC Cadillac quickly put paid to that chatter. The Nicest Guy In Golf™ was a popular winner here in 2013, after a classic duel under darkening skies with 2009 champ Angel Cabrera. Another Masters like that one? Yes please! Wouldn’t say no.

Or what about Bubba Watson, at home at Augusta with the perfect game for the old place? He’s already won twice on Tour this season, with a second place at the WGC Cadillac too. Another good week, and he could seriously start to shake this roll of honour ...

6: Jack Nicklaus
4: Arnold Palmer, Tiger Woods
3: Jimmy Demaret, Sam Snead, Gary Player, Nick Faldo, Phil Mickelson
2: Horton Smith, Byron Nelson, Ben Hogan, Tom Watson, Seve Ballesteros, Bernhard Langer, Ben Crenshaw, Jose Maria Olazabal, Bubba Watson

... up a little bit further. Phil Mickelson, already there with three, is perhaps less likely to do so. If you consider the form book, that is. But then Lefty is Lefty, this is the Masters, and here he is at Augusta National. Do we rule him out? No we do not.

Or how about the 2011 champion Charl Schwartzel? The only man to wrap up this title with four birdies on the closing four holes could be blazing hot again this week. The South African won the Valspar last month, and has a couple of wins on home soil on the European Tour this season too. And then there’s his fellow countryman Louis Oosthuizen, who could so easily have made off with both US Open and Open last year, was the runner-up at the World Match Play the other week, and would have won here in 2012 had Bubba not snap-hooked out of deep bother down 11 with a sand wedge during their play-off. There’s no accounting for Bubbagolf.

Maybe Rickie Fowler, the Best Player Never To Win A Major Now Day’s Managed One™? Or Justin Rose, who came so close here in 2007 and indeed last year. Or second favourite Rory McIlroy, who found himself nine ill-fated holes from victory in 2011, and who I’m hiding downpage, mid-paragraph because he was desperate to keep his grand-slam bid low key for once. Though he just can’t help himself. Or Dustin Johnson, although he’ll probably need a 14-shot lead coming up 18 on Sunday, just to be on the safe side. Or Sergio . Or Hideki Matsuyama, winner of this year’s Phoenix Open, a top-five player here last year, and a young man sure to bust the major door down very soon.

And yes, yes, yes of course there’s the defending champion Jordan Spieth. This astonishing young genius - HE’S JUST 22!!! - could so easily have won the elusive grand slam last year. When he holed that monster across 16 at St Andrews, it surely looked on. It had to be. But it wasn’t. Jordan is out of form right now, so they say, having failed to win on Tour since January, his putter having gone a tad tepid of late. Well, perhaps. Then again, that’s what they said about Jack Nicklaus in 1966, when he too was after back-to-back Masters, and look what happened there. In any case, Speith’s played here twice, coming second, then first. He shot 64 on the opening day last year, and led wire-to-wire on his way to a record-equalling 18-under 270. All on a course where the monster hitters are supposed to swat aside the (relatively) shorter guys like Spieth. Form, schmorm; length, schmength. It’s all about talent, huh.

Anyway, we could keep going along these lines for a very long time. There are 89 players in the field, after all. But we’ve got a very long and enjoyable four days ahead of us. So grab yourself a long, cool glass of iced tea and a not-quite-as-good-as-they-used-to-be pimento cheese sandwich, and settle down for the greatest annual sporting event there is. Oh boy, this is going to be so good.

We’ll get this hole-by-hole report underway at 2pm BST, which is 9am in the sweet Georgia town of Augusta. Meanwhile, the tee times ...

8.20am ET (1.20pm BST): Jim Herman, Steven Bowditch
8.31am ET (1.31pm BST): Trevor Immelman, Robert Streb, Derek Bard (a)
8.42am ET (1.42pm BST): Larry Mize, Victor Dubuisson, Kevin Streelman
8.53am ET (1.53pm BST): Sandy Lyle, Bernd Wiesberger, Vaughn Taylor
9.04am ET (2.04pm BST): Webb Simpson, Chris Wood, Thongchai Jaidee
9.15am ET (2.15pm BST): Tom Watson, Charley Hoffman, Lee Westwood
9.26am ET (2.26pm BST): Zach Johnson, Rickie Fowler, Jin Cheng (a)
9.37am ET (2.37pm BST): Louis Oosthuizen, Jason Dufner, Patrick Reed
9.48am ET (2.48pm BST): Jordan Spieth, Paul Casey, Bryson DeChambeau (a)
9.59am ET (2.59pm BST): Justin Thomas, Emiliano Grillo, Dustin Johnson
10.21am ET (3.21pm BST): Vijay Singh, Hideki Matsuyama, Chris Kirk
10.32am ET (3.32pm BST): Harris English, Andy Sullivan, Kevin Na
10.43am ET (3.43pm BST): Phil Mickelson, Marc Leishman, Henrik Stenson
10.54am ET (3.54pm BST): Justin Rose, Jamie Donaldson, Daniel Berger
11.05am ET (4.05pm BST): Adam Scott, Kevin Kisner, Brooks Koepka
11.16am ET (4.16pm BST): Mike Weir, Cameron Smith, Sammy Schmitz (a)
11.27am ET (4.27pm BST): Ian Woosnam, Troy Merritt, Byeong-hun An
11.38am ET (4.38pm BST): Darren Clarke, Billy Horschel, Matthew Fitzpatrick
11.49am ET (4.49pm BST): Mark O’Meara, David Lingmerth, Paul Chaplet (a)
12pm ET (5pm BST): Keegan Bradley, Brandt Snedeker, Kiradech Aphibarnrat
12.22pm ET (5.22pm BST): Charl Schwartzel, Davis Love III, Rafael Cabrera-Bello
12.33pm ET (5.33pm BST): Danny Lee, Russell Knox, Smylie Kaufman
12.44pm ET (5.44pm BST): Bubba Watson, Branden Grace, Ian Poulter
12.55pm ET (5.55pm BST): Bernhard Langer, Hunter Mahan, Romain Langasque (a)
1.06pm ET (6.06pm BST): Jason Day, Matt Kuchar, Ernie Els
1.17pm ET (6.17pm BST): Graeme McDowell, Fabian Gomez, Scott Piercy
1.28pm ET (6.28pm BST): Jimmy Walker, Soren Kjeldsen, Anirban Lahiri
1.39pm ET (6.39pm BST): Danny Willett, Sergio Garcia, Ryan Moore
1.50pm ET (6.50pm BST): Angel Cabrera, Shane Lowry, J.B. Holmes
2.01pm ET (7.01pm BST): Martin Kaymer, Bill Haas, Rory McIlroy

Updated

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