Nearly there now. So here's a thought to spice things up. If England are going to retain the Ashes there will not even be room for a single passenger. With the Australians threatening to be right on top of their game all it needs is for someone to do an Ian Bell (171 runs in 10 innings in 2005) and the urn will be surrendered. But, hey, let's be positive. Here are the tasks each member of the England squad will need to carry out if they are to leave Australia undefeated for the first time in 20 years.
Andrew Strauss: Attack Glenn McGrath. The way Strauss quick-stepped down the wicket to greet McGrath's first ball in the Champions Trophy last month was probably a blueprint for the winter, and four aggressive half-centuries - disturbed only by a Shaun Tait thunderbolt - suggest he has added new urgency to his game. In the absence of Marcus Trescothick, the enforcer of 2005, this is doubly vital. If McGrath can be clattered out of the attack quickly, it will be an early test for Ricky Ponting's captaincy. And let's face it, he hasn't exactly been tested since the last time these sides met.
Alastair Cook: Keep Strauss company. Cook has a real opportunity to show that the 214 he made for Essex against the Australians was no warm-up-match irrelevance. But if Strauss does get going, Cook must not be afraid to drop anchor and play himself in before his trial by leg-spin. How he plays Shane Warne will determine whether he has an average series or a good one, and the news from the camp of Merlyn - the spin-bowling machine - is that he has been working hard.
Ian Bell: Fate has decreed that Bell has become one of England's most versatile batsmen in the last year. He batted at No4 in the last Ashes, has opened in one-day cricket, made three hundreds from No6 against Pakistan and now moves up to No3. His job is to ignore the Aussie barbs and not to pad up to Warne, even if he thinks it looks like a leg-break. His 132 against South Australia might finally have persuaded the locals he can bat. Now, assuming his bruised wrist clears up in time, he needs to show that a Test average of 50 since his pair at The Oval is the rule rather than the exception.
Paul Collingwood: As you were, quite simply. Collingwood is at his best when no one expects too much, so let's not pile on the pressure by pointing out that he just happens to be the only player in the squad with an international hundred in Australia to his name (who cares that it was against Sri Lanka?). Batting at No4, his most important job might be wearing down the bowlers for the benefit of Kevin Pietersen. His fielding will be vital for keeping Aussie derision at bay.
Kevin Pietersen: The key. Pietersen must aim for 500 runs in five Tests and he must score quickly enough to disrupt Ponting's plans. He will have to take risks against Warne, but if the slog-sweep is in good order, then we will know all is well. Oh, and no drops this time KP.
Andrew Flintoff: Not a lot, really. Just captain the side, take 25 wickets, score 350 runs, hold his catches, win at least three tosses, deal with the media and smile. He can do it, as much because the Aussies believe he can as anything. Respect out here makes life so much easier.
Geraint Jones: Average 30 and hold on to every sitter. If he does that, and doesn't drop more than a couple of half-chances, his inclusion ahead of Chris Read will have been justified. Asking for another stand of 170-odd with Flintoff (see Trent Bridge) might be pushing it, but a couple of half-centuries is not. He needs to bat intelligently with the tail if he isn't going to be classed as part of it.
Ashley Giles: Yes, there's every chance now that Giles, who has not bowled in a Test for a year, will play ahead of Monty Panesar. The Spin would like to make its objections known, before hoping that Gilo does what he has - possibly - been brought in for: score 25 every time at No8, take catches in the gully and not get tonked. Still, it's hardly up-and-at-em, is it?
Matthew Hoggard: The Kookaburra ball loses its swing quickly, so Hoggard's role will be similar to the one he played in the first three Ashes Tests last time (before he was given his chance at Trent Bridge): remove at least one of Australia's two left-handed openers, return to bowl off-breaks with the old ball, then loosen up for another spell with the second new one. The Spin would have him below Steve Harmison in the batting order, but since he won't be, his role is to keep one of the senior men company for as long as possible. But do we really need him clogging things up as a nightwatchman?
Steve Harmison: Locate his Old Trafford hat from the wardrobe and throw out the Headingley one. Otherwise England have got no hope. Brisbane's bounce ought to suit him, but we're going on trust here given that he has bowled only 25 overs all tour. Oh, and don't forget to dust off the reverse-sweep against Warne: no one in the England side plays it better.
James Anderson: Whereas Monty's batting frailties count against him, Anderson looks set to survive despite the fact that Sajid Mahmood has the better all-round game. His dilemma is obvious: since he won't be opening the bowling, or even necessarily coming on first change, he won't be operating with a ball that swings, which is when he is at his most dangerous. That means he will have to make the most of playing an unnatural game. Well though he has bowled so far, keeping it tight might be the best we can hope for.
And the rest ... Chris Read: Stay patient and wait for Jones to drop two howlers ... Sajid Mahmood: Train as if you will get a game, because you will. And when you do, go for broke. You'll be the fifth bowler, which gives you licence to be the loose cannon ... Liam Plunkett: Injuries to others will your only chance ... Monty Panesar: You'll play at Adelaide, where you just need to do what you've been doing all year: keep it tight and open up the right-handers to lbw shouts. Keep your eye on those skiers ... Ed Joyce: Keep spirits up if they start to flag. Your dry humour might never be more welcome than if England lose the toss on Thursday and suffer a repeat of 2002-03 (Australia 364 for two).
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